Blathr Wayne Lorentz

What is Blathr?
Showing blathrs with the tag “Henri.”

Tender vittles

Sunday, September 3rd, 2023 Alive 19,122 days

The Randallʼs deli case.

Going to the deli makes me sad. It reminds me that I used to always bring home a slab of turkey as a special treat for Henri. He knew when I came through the door with grocery bags that it was special treat time, and heʼd hop up on the kitchen counter and dig through the bags looking for it. He was never a patient creature.

Rest in peace, little friend.

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Saturday, June 27th, 2020 Alive 17,959 days

About the only normal thing these days is the cat. She eats. She poops. She licks herself. All the normal things a cat should do. Sheʼs never been very bright, so she doesnʼt know anything is wrong. The last cat was very empathetic. He knew when something was wrong, and would comfort us. If he heard Darcie cry or yelp or swear, heʼd run to her side. Now she only has me. Itʼs not the same thing.

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Saturday, December 15th, 2018 Alive 17,399 days

Henri licking his chops

What a cat with a tummy full of tinsel looks like.

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Sunday, December 9th, 2018 Alive 17,393 days

Henri manning the magnetic screwdriver

While I appreciate Henri trying to help me fix the Atari, it would probably go faster if he wasnʼt sitting on the multimeter.

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Saturday, December 8th, 2018 Alive 17,392 days

Totally not a scratching post

Santa dropped off a present for the Annie and Henri today. Hopefully they donʼt figure out what it is.

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Sunday, November 25th, 2018 Alive 17,379 days

Many candles and one cat

Henri canʼt decide if Iʼm decorating for Christmas, or filming a Police music video.

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Thursday, November 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,376 days

A passed out cat

I havenʼt had Thanksgiving with relatives in 24 years. But I still have a family member who gorges himself on turkey and passes out in front of the TV.

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Wednesday, November 21st, 2018 Alive 17,375 days

I think this is the cat equivalent of a dog drinking all of the water from a Christmas tree stand.

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Monday, November 12th, 2018 Alive 17,366 days

Does anyone know of a good way to control feline flatulence?

Asking for Mr. Fuzzynuts over there.

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She knows “Zyrtek”

Thursday, November 8th, 2018 Alive 17,362 days

An outbound text message

I can understand Siri not knowing the word “smurgle.” But she doesnʼt know “Munchos?” Do nerds not eat junk food anymore?

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Sunday, October 21st, 2018 Alive 17,344 days

Henri preventing me from using the computer

It really is a miracle that I get anything done at all.

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Saturday, September 15th, 2018 Alive 17,308 days

A nap in the sun

What Saturday is like, if youʼre a cat.

Also Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, September, November, and years with numbers in them.

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Friday, September 7th, 2018 Alive 17,300 days

Henri trying to understand the noises coming from the radio-shaped motion-activated Halloween decoration

Not exactly His Masterʼs Voice, but close enough.

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Friday, September 7th, 2018 Alive 17,300 days

This is a way better anniversary present than what I got Darcie. Oh, well. Better luck next year, Sweetie.

If you watch the video, wait till the very end to see the cat burp.

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Tuesday, August 28th, 2018 Alive 17,290 days

Cabinet critters

I should probably clean out my bathroom cabinet. Itʼs starting to attract vermin.

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Monday, August 27th, 2018 Alive 17,289 days

An obnoxious moggie

Henri isnʼt actually sleeping. He just wants me to stop reading the paper and cater to whatever his kitty desire of the moment is.

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Saturday, August 25th, 2018 Alive 17,287 days

A cat at a computer

He probably just reset all of my passwords to Garfield quotes again.

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Saturday, August 4th, 2018 Alive 17,266 days

A pizza box squashed by a hungry cat

He weighs like 15 pounds now. The little Barbie table inside never stood a chance.

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Sunday, July 29th, 2018 Alive 17,260 days

A confused cat

Henri looking to the sky wondering what the hell is going on. Itʼs been 174 days since it last rained in our neighborhood, and the kitties have forgotten what rain is.

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Sunday, July 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,253 days

Today I left the house because the cat was being an asshole.

It may be time to re-evaluate how I rank around here.

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Sunday, June 24th, 2018 Alive 17,225 days

Strange text messages

There are so many reasons my wife puts my text messages on mute while sheʼs at work.

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