Blathr Wayne Lorentz

What is Blathr?

Blathring in October, 2020

Can I be excused?

Tuesday, October 27th, 2020 Alive 18,081 days

A clipping from the Navajo Times showing children learning outside

This is what it looks like when kids on the Big Rez have to do school-from-home.

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Bones broth

Sunday, October 25th, 2020 Alive 18,079 days

Jacked ʼOʼ Lantern coffee from Bones Coffee

Todayʼs coffee is Jacked ʼOʼ Lantern. Another Halloween-themed coffee from Bones Coffee in Cape Coral, Florida.

The flavor is labeled “Pumpkin spice,” and for once, it's delivers. With no syrups or additions, it provides strong pumpkin spice smell before and after grinding, as well as strong pumpkin spice taste after brewing. Definitely would buy again.

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Great ball of fire

Wednesday, October 21st, 2020 Alive 18,075 days

Smoky sunset

I should be mad at California sending us all its wildfire smoke. But it does add a nice campfire smell to the day.

Smoky sunset
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Tall and fruity

Sunday, October 18th, 2020 Alive 18,072 days

Frankenbones Coffee from Bones Coffee

Today’s coffee is Frankenbones from Bones Coffee in Florida.

From the label, one would assume that this is some kind of mint-flavored coffee. Don’t let all that green in the label fool you. We’re back to chocolate and filberts again.

It’s OK. The flavors are a little muted, but at least the coffee, itself, is low-acid. I’m a big flavored coffee guy, so it’s a little underpowered for me. But then I like my coffee the way I like my women: tall and fruity. If you’re someone who likes an occasional dash of flavor, or if you’re used to Dunkin’ Donuts, this might be a good choice.

It does bring an interesting thought to mind: Why do we associate the color green with Frankenstein’s monster? The film was in black-and-white. The movie posters of the era were either black-and-white, or he was tinted yellow or red. It wasn’t until the re-release in the 1950’s that he took on a greenish tint, and that was pretty subtle. I suspect there’s something about decay that we automatically associate with the color green, though in my memory, I can’t think of anything I’ve ever seen that was both rotting and green. Maybe lettuce.

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No cutting

Saturday, October 17th, 2020 Alive 18,071 days

Hundreds of people in line under the sun

The line to vote at 10am. There were twice as many people when we walked by a half hour later.

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Om nom nom nom

Friday, October 16th, 2020 Alive 18,070 days

My doctor says that if you have to eat chocolate, dark chocolate covered espresso beans is the way to go. The espresso helps you burn the calories, and the dark chocolate and space taken up by the beans cuts down on the sugar.

If you canʼt trust a Las Vegas doctor, who can you trust?

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Not scary at all

Thursday, October 15th, 2020 Alive 18,069 days

A clipping from the Navajo Times

If arming dinosaurs with massive hypodermic needles makes getting a flu shot less scary for kids, then I guess I donʼt understand kids.

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Is it a boutonnière or a stick pin?

Tuesday, October 13th, 2020 Alive 18,067 days

A screenshot from KLAS-TV

This is why being a weatherman in Las Vegas is the easiest job in broadcasting.

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Noise complaint

Monday, October 12th, 2020 Alive 18,066 days

I always feel bad for Harley-Davidson owners. Their motorcycles are always so loud, since they canʼt afford to get them fixed. I wonder what it is about being poor that draws you to one particular brand.

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Sunday, October 11th, 2020 Alive 18,065 days

Adobe Morning from Piñon Coffee

Today’s coffee is Adobe Morning from Piñon Coffee.

It’s supposed to be a little like cinnamon and filberts. I call hazelnuts filberts, because as Darcie will tell you, I grew up in 1940.

I don’t really taste either flavor in the coffee. There’s something there, but I’m not sure what it is. And I’m not sure how either cinnamon or filberts are supposed to relate to waking up in an adobe, since the nuts are from the British isles, and cinnamon is from southeast Asia. But it’s a nice mental picture.

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Saturday, October 10th, 2020 Alive 18,064 days

I wonder if it’s easier to track down the source of food poisoning these days since so many people are constantly taking pictures of their meals.

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Whopper of a lunch

Thursday, October 8th, 2020 Alive 18,062 days

A lunch sack filled with Whoppers

Each day for the last month, Iʼve included a piece of Halloween candy when I pack Darcieʼs lunch. And each day I notice that the Whoppers always seem to come back unopened.

I think she hasnʼt really given Whoppers a chance. So I made her an all-Whoppers lunch today.

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Bold and salty

Sunday, October 4th, 2020 Alive 18,058 days

Maple Bacon from Bones Coffee

Today’s coffee is Maple Bacon from Bones Coffee in Fort Meyers. For a gimmick roaster, this isn’t too bad. The beans don’t smell like maple or bacon. The ground coffee doesn’t smell like maple or bacon. But the brewed coffee definitely tastes like maple and bacon. Which is good, since I like my coffee the way I like my women: bold and salty.

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Dead Letter Office

Saturday, October 3rd, 2020 Alive 18,057 days

Computer, coffee, cookies — ready to write

When I want to get things off my chest, I bang the words into an old TRS-80 I keep in the closet. I do it in story form.

I’ve found that writing stories is a good way to expend excess mental energy. I’ve written hundreds of stories on that machine. Every month or so, after they’re perfected, I pull out the batteries and the stories disappear forever.

It’s like in the old days when people would write their confessions in letters and throw them in the fireplace, or deliberately mail them to undeliverable addresses.

You used to be able to buy bundles of these letters from the Post Office’s sorting facility’s Dead Letter Office. I don’t think you can anymore. Now they’re probably auctioned off in palettes with other undeliverable to big companies that throw away the letters and sell the wayward packages on Amazon.

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Buy a vowel

Friday, October 2nd, 2020 Alive 18,056 days

Tonight I watched Jeopardy on TV. The following things are true:

  • I watched with the cat sitting next to me on the couch. That means I’m old.
  • I watched while sewing. That means I’m old.
  • I watched the entire episode. That means I’m old.
  • I only got six of 61 questions wrong. That means I’m old.
  • I watched Jeopardy. That means I’m old.
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I know you are, but what am I?

Friday, October 2nd, 2020 Alive 18,056 days

Me: “Hey, Siri put ‘Cut lawn’ on my ‘Outside’ list.”

Siri: “You donʼt have an ‘Outside’ list. Do you want me to create one?”

Me: “Yes.”

Siri: “You donʼt have an ‘Outside’ list. Do you want me to create one?”

Me: “Yes.”

Siri: “You donʼt have an ‘Outside’ list. Do you want me to create one?”

Me: “Yes.”

Iʼm tired of tech bullshit that never works. Iʼm going back to lists on paper. It Just Works™

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Friday, October 2nd, 2020 Alive 18,056 days

Me: “Hey, Siri, put ‘toothpaste’ on my ‘Shopping’ list.”

Siri: “Youʼll have to unlock your iPhone first.”

If I was near my iPhone, Iʼd just put toothpaste on the list myself.

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