BlathrWayne Lorentz

I brought my 14-year-old iPod Shuffle to work to see how it works (flawlessly) and how long the battery lasts (all day+).

The office millennial asked, “Is that a Juul?”

Only one item in the deli case is labeled “Made in the USA.” So, where are the others made, and why can't know?

Nice notification spam, New York Times.

I only have “Breaking News” selected in my notification settings, which the app says is supposed to be “Urgent and important stories.” By definition, the Opinion page is not breaking news.

Whatʼs trashier than a couple of Smithʼs checkout girls talking about how high theyʼre going to get after work?

When one of them closes the lane youʼre standing in and tells the other that sheʼs going on break so she can smoke some weed.

My case of Vanilla Coke Zero came with an empty, yet completely sealed can in it.

Is that good luck, or a bad omen?

My neighborʼs in-ground pool seems to be leaking.

Weʼre on a hill, and their house is about five feet higher than mine, with a cement block wall dividing their elevated yard from my lower yard.

Thereʼs a slow trickle of water coming through the block wall.

Itʼs kind of nice, like a free tranquil burbling water feature. Iʼm sure Charlie Dimmock would approve.

I hate to buy cat food from Amazon.com, but I donʼt have much of a choice since Chewyʼs web site has been borked for half an hour now.

If Chewy canʼt keep a web site running, what chance do I have?

Come to Ohio. Where happiness is wine and giant pants.

I just slogged through an episode of Good Eats: The Return on Food Network Go.

There were 26 commercials for just two recipes!

I hope Alton Brown got a new car out of it, since I had to watch the same Enterprise Rent-a-Car commercial seven times in a row in one break.

Iʼm sitting in a Starbucks reading the New York Times.

Three children politely stare at me as they await their drinks, while their mother whispers privately to them.

On the way out, the mother quietly explains to me: theyʼve never seen a newspaper.

It turns out that Tide Dry Cleaners canʼt handle the Apple Card via Apple Pay.

The card terminal says “Approved,” but the POS system rejects it immediately after.

The physical card works OK. And other cards work fine via Apple Pay. Itʼs just the Apple Card that is giving it fits.