BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Hygiene.”

Roped into it

Friday, November 4th, 2022 Alive 18,819 days

A window washer hanging off the edge of a building

This is one of those jobs I could never do.

These guys are only about ten stories off the ground, but in Chicago, I used to see guys 40, 50, even 60 floors up with nothing to support them but a couple of ropes and a plank of wood.

I hope theyʼre well-paid.

In Hong Kong, Iʼve seen children doing this 20 stories up with just a single rope, balancing against the glass with their bare feet.

I doubt theyʼre well-paid.

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Simonized

Tuesday, May 24th, 2022 Alive 18,655 days

6:14am: Bourbon Street, New Orleans

At 6am, after a hard nightʼs rain, even Bourbon Street doesnʼt look half bad.

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The itsy-bitsy spiders

Monday, May 23rd, 2022 Alive 18,654 days

The bar ceiling at The Court of Two Sisters

My wife has a thing about restaurant ceilings. She tries not to look at them, because they might ruin her meal.

After learning this, I've developed a habit of always looking at restaurant ceilings, and her fears are not unreasonable — some of them are disgusting. Smoke-soaked corbels, brown-stained drop ceilings, mysterious holes that could be entries for any number of creepy-crawlies.

I think the ceiling above the bar at The Court of Two Sisters is among the worst. It's like the backdrop for some kind of over-the-top Disney pirate ride, but in real life, with real cobwebs, and real who-knows-what. It was very easy to imagine a spider dropping down and adding just a bit of crunch to someone's cocktail. Ick.

The restaurantʼs web site claims eating there is a “one-of-a-kind experience.” Well, it was certainly memorable.

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Still better mileage than a Chevy Suburban

Sunday, August 15th, 2021 Alive 18,373 days

A mechanized street cleaning contraption

In most cities, they have people pushing brooms to clean the streets. But this is Houston, so “Letʼs see if thereʼs a way we can do this sitting down while burning dead dinosaurs.”

If you put that thing in reverse, does it spew out everything its Hoovered up?

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Iʼll hold it

Monday, April 12th, 2021 Alive 18,248 days

The menʼs room at Death Valley Nut and Candy

Amazingly, the menʼs room at Death Valley Nut and Candy isnʼt the worst public restroom Iʼve ever used.

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Saturday, January 16th, 2021 Alive 18,162 days

Today Annie sat in the bathroom doorway and watched as I cleaned my toilet. So naturally, I felt obligated to clean the cat box next.

I think just got guilt-tripped by a cat.

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Monday, January 4th, 2021 Alive 18,150 days

“I wish Iʼd spent more time scrubbing grout,” said no one on their deathbed ever.

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Itʼs not a neck warmer

Saturday, June 20th, 2020 Alive 17,952 days

An employee at The Palm serving customers with a COVID mask around her neck

After seeing how the staff at The Palm wear their masks, Iʼll never eat there again.

Thereʼs a reason that mask-wearing by staff is the law.

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Whatʼs the number?

Tuesday, January 28th, 2020 Alive 17,808 days

An ad for women in suits who will scrub out your dog pee

If you get flyers stuck to your front door advertising a service to clean the dog pee off of the rocks and AstroTurf in your yard, you may live in the desert.

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Itʼs a hand job

Tuesday, August 13th, 2019 Alive 17,640 days

Part of a Keurig machine

The Keurig machine reads “Hand wash only.”

If I wanted to do things by hand, I wouldnʼt have bought a Keurig.

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Thursday, January 17th, 2019 Alive 17,432 days

A guy getting changed in public

So this guy rolls up on his motorcycle, pulls a suit bag out of his pannier and hangs it in a tree. Then he pulls out a big tub of Windex Wipes and gives himself a full bath — underbits and all — while standing in the parking lot. Then he unzips the suit bag, puts on a tuxedo, and walks away down the street. Ta da!

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Thursday, January 10th, 2019 Alive 17,425 days

A pretty bad toilet

Amazingly, this isnʼt the worst toilet Darcie and I have come across in our travels.

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Thursday, December 27th, 2018 Alive 17,411 days

Someone hauling a suitcase and a Swiffer

I know some tourists like to bring their own pillows to Las Vegas hotels of unknown quality, but unless your lodging cost less than $30, you probably donʼt need to bring your own Swiffer.

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Sunday, December 23rd, 2018 Alive 17,407 days

Cleaning the litter box is a lot more festive this time of year, what with all the butt nuggets threaded together with tinsel missing from the tree like the worst Christmas train ever.

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Tuesday, August 28th, 2018 Alive 17,290 days

Cabinet critters

I should probably clean out my bathroom cabinet. Itʼs starting to attract vermin.

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Saturday, August 25th, 2018 Alive 17,287 days

A photo of a cockroach as a featured image in a hotel listing

My first thought was to blame the webdev for using unvetted user-uploaded photos when no other pictures of the property were available. Then I realized I should blame the people who run the motel for the condition it is in.

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