BlathrWayne Lorentz

I think thatʼs too many exclamation points for smooth jazz.

Dixieland, maybe.

China: “Not every nation wants to be a democracy. The world should be run by what the majority of the people want.”

The rest of the world: “Thatʼs the definition of democracy.”

China: “Hey, look! George Floyd!”

Iʼm tired. Annie is going to work for me today.

Iʼm reading an old paperback dime store novel. I guess this is the 1970ʼs equivalent of a pop-up ad.

I spent the last few decades collecting wonderful music from all around the world; carefully curating a library that I can listen to and enjoy.

But for some reason all Iʼve wanted to listen to for the last six months is silence.

Seems like I wasted a lot of time and money somehow.

No Girl Scouts knocked on my door this year. So, thank you, random Girl Scout troop in Utah I found online.

The spider plants Iʼm growing in tiki mugs on my kitchen wall have started to bloom.

Also, Iʼm growing spider plants in tiki mugs on my kitchen wall.

Dear Whole Foods,

450 Americans died of COVID-19 yesterday. Why has my local store stopped requiring people to wear masks?

Itʼs still the law here. Everything is not better. People are still getting sick and dying. What I saw today is not OK.

Please comply with the law.

Not only does Appleʼs Find My app not know where my AirPods are, it doesnʼt even know what to call them.

Am I the only one who thinks the Sahara branch of the Clark County Public Library is weird looking? Itʼs like one of those international-style buildings thatʼs all intersecting geometric shapes. The ones that were all the rage a half-century ago.

More to the point: It looks like the exteriors of New Chicago from the 1979 TV show Buck Rogers in the 25^th Century.

Which should I choose? Fondue, or fondü?

Theyʼre both made in Switzerland. And judging by the date marks, they were made within eight hours of one another.

I wonder if they came over on the same boat, too.

I accidentally called a fax machine today.

If you thought the shriek in your ears was bad in the 90ʼs, itʼs even worse today, drilling into your brain through a set of AirPods!

According to Microsoft Outlook, I replied to this message 72 minutes before I received it.

Itʼs not a Daylight Savings Time issue, or it would be just 60 minutes different.

Also, it would be nice if Microsoft Office would pick one date format and stick with it.

Today I learned that top does not respect terminal settings. But htop does.

I wonder if a daisy smells the same to her as it does to me.

Now for a quiet evening of coffee, cookies, classical, and Zork.

Todayʼs coffee is Ralphʼs Blend from Ralph Lauren, the guy whoʼs been filling the New York Times with full-page ads trying to bring back pinstriped suits.

The coffee is OK. Itʼs pretty much what you would expect from someone who opens a coffee shop inside a clothing store. Fine for Aunt Tillyʼs china, but not going to put any hair on your chest. Thatʼs fine because I like my coffee the way I like my women: mild and reliable.

One note about the Macyʼs coffee I mentioned in a previous missive. Unlike every other coffee in the world that comes in a foil bag, it comes in a paper bag. Like a paper lunch sack. So the beans are not protected from the air at all. I could smell them before I even opened the mailbox, and had to keep them in a big zippy bag because they stunk up the kitchen.

What happens when you try to charge a USB power bank from itself? Letʼs find out.

Today I learned that Nano works fine on the tiny screen of a TRS-80 Model 100.

I can finally play Zork on my TRS-80 Model 100. Sort of.

Iʼm actually using the Model 100ʼs terminal program to connect to a wifi dongle on the back of the machine which connects to my wifi router, which connects to my Mac Mini, where the game is actually running.

Some day Iʼd like to run Zork on this actual machine, but that would entail installing CP/M on the 100, which is still a very experimental process, and more complicated than I have time for.

…and weʼre online!

Slightly less dramatic than connecting to CompuServe for the first time, but nevertheless a personal communications victory.

Darcie and are both Pfizarians now. I got my first shot a couple of weeks ago when Nevada expanded eligibility to “health care support” people. Darcie got hers a few days ago when it was expanded to “retail workers with prolonged/sustained public contact.”

Iʼd heard lots of nightmare stories from people in other cities about the process being difficult and unpredictable. But for us, it was super fast and easy. I was able to make a same-day appointment. Darcie was able to get in the next day.

That said, the whole scene was like something from a 1970ʼs end-of-the-world movie. Iʼve never seen so many soldiers in my life, and I was in college ROTC. People in FEMA vests were herding everyone around, making sure people got in the right lines. The pedometer in my watch says the line was just under a mile long, but it didnʼt feel awful because, like at Disneyland, they kept it moving to keep anyone from getting antsy. Iʼm not sure it was necessary. Everyone had their faces buried in their phones anyway. I suspect just seeking some kind of comfort under the glare of the arc lights.

The Army, and whatever federal doctors could be rounded up were giving the shots. Darcie got hers from an Army doctor out of D.C. I got mine from a vet in the USDA Foreign Disease Surveillance Service. She said she was ordered to come here two weeks ago. She was vaccinating cows at the time. I asked her if I should moo when she jabs me. She said if I did, she might have to give me a rabies shot, too. So I told her, “You havenʼt met my wife; I might need the rabies shot.” That made the supervising soldier laugh, and broke the tension, which was good because I was pretty freaked out.

In spite of all their fancy JavaScript, and invasive telemetry, I donʼt think online stores really have any idea how much money they lose every day by making their shopping process so complicated that the web site breaks.

Simplifying the stack would save development costs, management costs, and increase sales.

But nobody in tech gets promoted for making things less complicated.

Vague error messages cost less, and Walmart passes that savings on to you!

Assuming you can eventually get to the check-out portion of the web site.

Harry and Meghan: “We had no idea about the pressure.”

Also Harry and Meghan: “Harryʼs mom died because of the pressure!”

Harry and Meghan: “We don't want to work for the royal family.”

Also Harry and Meghan: “They took away our paychecks!”

I understand that most of the planetʼs stores are closed because of COVID. But youʼd think they could at least leave the vending machines on for us. Itʼs not like the cogs and gears are going to get sick.

Sometimes fighter jets from one of the nearby military bases screech overhead and leave contrails over the city.

It's supposed to be a patriotic show of support for first responders and other essential workers. But that only works if you know it's coming ahead of time.

With everything locked down, and sensible people on high alert, it just makes me feel more like my whole world is under attack, with shades of 9/11.

Thing nobody asks at a gas station anymore:

“Regular or unleaded?”

See also:

• “Check your oil?”
• “Wash your windows?”

Having a 25% occupancy cap is not reassuring in any way when that means you still have to share the air with 11,018 other people.

Annie doesnʼt worry about money. She doesnʼt worry about COVID. She doesnʼt know there are bad people in the world.

All she knows is that she has a full tummy, and an attentive friend. And thatʼs all that matters to her.