BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “🦃.”


Tuesday, September 27th, 2022 Alive 18,781 days

A package of H.E.B. Holiday Stuffing potato chips

An object can be both well done, and not good at the same time. To wit: “Holiday Stuffing” favor potato chips from H.E.B.

The San Antonio supermarket chain has leapfrogged pumpkin spice season and landed firmly in the fuzzy, nostalgic quagmire of Thanksmas season.

Opening the bag, I took my usual deep breath of snackmosphere to preview what was ahead, and I nearly gagged. It really does smell very much like Stove-Top stuffing. It also tastes more like stuffing than a lot of brandsʼ actual boxed stuffing does these days.

So H.E.B. gets an A+ for execution, because when someone said “make stuffing-flavored potato chips,” someone else made it happen. But as food goes, itʼs just not good, because when you eat it, you expect one thing and get another.

Iʼll still finish the bag, though. And let the “Holiday” term slide because stuffing is traditional for both Christmas and Thanksgiving.

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Bird brain

Thursday, November 28th, 2019 Alive 17,747 days

I think the best recent Thanksgiving invention is the Thanksgiving panini at Starbucks. If you havenʼt had one, try it. Theyʼre a little better this year because they left out the cranberry sauce.

Iʼm so dumb, it only occurred to me yesterday that I can make all of the Thanksgiving paninis I want with my Thanksgiving leftovers!

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Thursday, November 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,376 days

Yaʼatʼéeh Késhmish Yazhiʼ!

Thatʼs Navajo for “Happy Thanksgiving.”

The Navajo have a phrase for Happy Thanksgiving because, as I learned on the rez, real indians do celebrate Thanksgiving, complete with paper turkey decorations, because they know itʼs a celebration of community and giving thanks for the things we have, and actually has nothing to do with Pilgrim oppression, and all that is a fairy tale from white east coast college professors who need to see conflict in everything order to keep the grant money coming.

If the Navajo can celebrate Thanksgiving, so can you.

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Thursday, November 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,376 days

A passed out cat

I havenʼt had Thanksgiving with relatives in 24 years. But I still have a family member who gorges himself on turkey and passes out in front of the TV.

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Thursday, November 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,376 days

A half-done turkey

Half way there!

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Wednesday, November 21st, 2018 Alive 17,375 days

I think this is the cat equivalent of a dog drinking all of the water from a Christmas tree stand.

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Friday, September 7th, 2018 Alive 17,300 days

Thanksgiving decorations on offer

Thanksgiving decorations for sale on September 7. I guess the good part is that people can stop moaning about stores putting out Halloween stuff too soon.

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