Saturday, June 30th, 2018 Alive 17,231 days
Woman: “It’s just bread.”
Man: “You’re just bread.”
Woman: “It’s just bread.”
Man: “You’re just bread.”
…at least he learned how to make bread in prison.
When the nearest gas station is 94 miles away, you can charge $12 for two gallons of gas.
I found an ever pricier place down the road, commanding $20 a pop.
You call the number on the sign, give the person who answers your credit card number, and they give you the combination to the gas locker.
I can't believe I didn't think of this first.
Never Say Never Again is not only the worst James Bond film of all time, it may be one of the worst films of the 80ʼs. If it didnʼt have Kim Basinger and Sean Connery, you would think itʼs some kind of low budget knockoff.
Now I know why Sean Connery never made another Bond flick.
Now I know why Netflix has zero copies and the library has five.
Now I know why I never replaced this video when I ditched my Betamax machine.
Saw this while reading some Google documentation today:
Values equal to or greater than 1 will be ignored, and a value of 0 will completely shut your piehole.
Most people donʼt realize that there are other “areas” in the Nevada National Security Site besides Area 51. This railroad engine used to haul nuclear rocket engines around Area 25 before it crashed.
In other news, “nuclear rocket engines” are a thing.
Hereʼs whatʼs on the plaque:
In 2006, the Nevada State Railroad Museum acquired this 500 horsepower, 161,000 lb. diesel-electric locomotive from the U.S. Department of Energy. It was built in 1953 by the General Electric Company and initially served at a U.S. Naval facility before being overhauled and relocated to the Nevada Test Site in 1964. There, the locomotive was routinely used to transport nuclear powered rocket engines to various test stations.
The nuclear rocket program began in 1955 when the Atomic Energy Commission and the U.S. Air Force began various thermal reactor studies for the first assembly of a prototype rocket engine. During the 1960s and 70s the U.S. Government constructed several rocket development stations at Area 25 and connected them with their own series of railroad tracks, thus allowing easy movement of the rocket engines from one test station to the next throughout the sprawling site.
The unique name “Jackass and Western” stenciled on the side of the locomotive comes from the geographic location in which Area 25 is situated. Jackass Flats is one of several flats located at the Nevada Test Site, such as Frenchman Flats and Yucca Flats where most of the actual atomic testing took place during the mid to late 20th century.
The Jackass and Western Railroad operated as a charted common carrier until the U.S. Government suspended the nuclear rocket engine program in the mid-1980s at which time the locomotive sat idle and was put into storage.
If a steakhouse has an oil painting of the mayor and her mob lawyer husband on the wall over their regular booth, itʼs probably a good steakhouse.
If a steakhouse has brass plaques identifying the regular tables of people from Frank Sinatra to Mario Andretti, itʼs probably a very good steakhouse.
But do you know how you can tell if a steakhouse is an excellent steakhouse? Creamed spinach, baby!
High tech “smart” locks are great. Until your phone runs out of battery while youʼre out shopping. And since youʼve relied on your phone to think for you for the last couple of years, you donʼt know what your backup unlock code is. So you have to text the cat sitter to get into your own house.
Lessons that can be learned:
People on the internet laugh because this cemetery is supposed to have a grave marker reading “Unknown man died eating library paste July 14 1908.”
The full story is that he was a hungry hobo who found a pot of paste in the trash behind the library and ate it because it tasted sweet. It tasted sweet because back then paste contained alum. Which killed him.
The words have been removed from the grave marker because boors from the internet used to flock here to take pictures of themselves with it, as if the death of a homeless guy is something to laugh at.