BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Darcie.”

Low-resolution love

Saturday, October 29th, 2022 Alive 18,813 days

Searsʼ Chase cartridge

I got a new video game today. Well, itʼs an old video game, since most of the games I play are for the Atari 2600.

Itʼs Chase, which is the Sears Tele-Games rebranding of Atariʼs Surround.

A simple as it is, this is an engaging game, which explains why itʼs been recreated on dozens and dozens of machines. People today still have warm and fuzzy memories of 1997ʼs Snake on Nokia cell phones, but it originated in 1976 with the Blockade arcade game from Gremlin before it became Sega/Gremlin.

This version is solid, except that the bleeps are annoying, so itʼs best to turn off the sound and put on some period-appropriate music like Sirius 70ʼs on 7.

It also has a nice freeform drawing mode, which is useful to endearing oneself with oneʼs sweetheart.

“I ♥︎ Darcie” on an Atari
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Watch out for Yogi!

Monday, April 19th, 2021 Alive 18,255 days

A hungry Darcie

Hereʼs Darcie sitting in the trunk of the Desert Truckster, waiting for me to set up our picnic lunch.

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Monday, April 19th, 2021 Alive 18,255 days

Darcie taking pictures at Crystal Springs in Ash Meadows National Wildlife Refuge
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Monday, April 12th, 2021 Alive 18,248 days

Darcie looks out over the ghost town Rhyolite, Nevada
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Mrs. Clean

Tuesday, September 1st, 2020 Alive 18,025 days

Today I saw Darcie using the wet Swiffer mop thing to clean the kitchen counters.

She's either mad, or a genius, or a mad genius.

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Saturday, June 27th, 2020 Alive 17,959 days

About the only normal thing these days is the cat. She eats. She poops. She licks herself. All the normal things a cat should do. Sheʼs never been very bright, so she doesnʼt know anything is wrong. The last cat was very empathetic. He knew when something was wrong, and would comfort us. If he heard Darcie cry or yelp or swear, heʼd run to her side. Now she only has me. Itʼs not the same thing.

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Friday, March 6th, 2020 Alive 17,846 days

Right now, in preparation for our move in two months, Darcie is using a vintage Polaroid to take pictures of each pair of her shoes.

Itʼs pretty much the most Darcie thing Iʼve seen in a long time.

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No baked beans?

Tuesday, February 25th, 2020 Alive 17,836 days

Some days I pack Darcieʼs lunch for her. Today I put a whole can of Spam in her lunch bag.

Sheʼll thank me for it later.

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Sunday, February 24th, 2019 Alive 17,470 days

Fred the Chuckwalla in his tank

Darcie spent 20 minutes communing with Fred the Chuckwalla.

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Sunday, February 24th, 2019 Alive 17,470 days

Darcieʼs shoes

Darcieʼs all kitted out for adventure.

Sneakers from Barneyʼs New York.

Socks from Mars.

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Friday, February 15th, 2019 Alive 17,461 days

Carrot cake at The Palm

Date night at The Palm with carrot cake. I think Darcie was there, too.

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Sunday, January 13th, 2019 Alive 17,428 days

The Desert Trucksterʼs indicator panel

Darcie was disappointed with my man skills when I had to look in the Fiat manual app to find out how to turn on the carʼs defroster.

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

A horseback riding brochure

I wanted to take Darcie horseback riding, but she wonʼt go because she didnʼt pack her ranch dressing.

Darcie hates that joke.

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

Darcie holding a ceramic pot

When I heard that California legalized pot, I knew I couldnʼt stop Darcie.

She hates that joke.

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

A teahouse on top of a mountain

Darcie: A tea house with a view? Sounds great!

Concierge: Itʼs a one mile hike uphill on gravel.

Me: Whatʼs the number for room service?

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

Darice on a mountain of rocks

Darcie rocks. That is all.

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

Edifice wrecks

This motel is appealing. Itʼs also a-cracking and a-crumbling.

Darcie hates that joke.

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

Darcie ruining her boots

She looks so happy. Nobody tell Darcie sheʼs standing in wild horse poop.

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

Darcie under 25

25? She wishes.

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

Death Valley

Death Valley is kind of a schist hole.

Darcie hates that joke.

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

Darcie trying to take a picture

Am I in the way of your picture?

How about now?

How about now?

How about now?

How about now?

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

Darcie examining her new silver

Darcie bought a new necklace to match the one she has on. Her old necklace is Navajo silver. Her new necklace is Hi-Ho silver.

Darcie hates that joke.

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Friday, January 11th, 2019 Alive 17,426 days

Darcie being civilized

Darcie spends a quiet evening writing postcards in the hotel library.

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Thursday, January 10th, 2019 Alive 17,425 days

Darcie in a box

After a full day without cell phone service, a desperate Darcie resorts to scrounging around phone booths looking for Facebook access.

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Thursday, January 10th, 2019 Alive 17,425 days

Darcie stalking a dead car

Here we see the elusive Yellow Haired Picture Snapper in her native habitat. Letʼs watch as she stalks her prey.

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Tuesday, January 8th, 2019 Alive 17,423 days

Darcie drivinʼ home with one headlight

If I was a good husband, Iʼd fix Darcieʼs car like I promised to. But for now I just stand in the driveway when she comes home and sing that Wallflowers song at her.

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Sunday, December 23rd, 2018 Alive 17,407 days

Chief Inspector Japp

Darcieʼs favorite TV show is ITVʼs Poirot series.

If you ever wondered what became of the wrench-wielding cartoon baddie from A-Haʼs Take On Me music video, thatʼs him on the eft.

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Wednesday, October 24th, 2018 Alive 17,347 days

A serious pants question

Itʼs been 20 years, and Darcie still frequently guesses wrong if Iʼm joking or if Iʼm serious.

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Monday, October 15th, 2018 Alive 17,338 days

Darcie feeling cold

Today Darcie broke out her scarf and Uggs. It's 66 degrees.

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Saturday, October 13th, 2018 Alive 17,336 days

Darcie in front of the Hubbell Trading Post

Trading posts are still the one of the primary means of commerce and communication on the Navajo Nation. The tribal government operates some of them, but most are owned by white people, like the one Darcie is standing in front of. It's been operating since 1878.

The trading posts still exist because the companies you and I shop with aren't interested in opening stores on the reservations. Indians still actually trade jewelry, rugs, pottery, and other things for food, clothing, and even iPads at the trading posts.

They can also use money, like Darcie did.

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Friday, October 12th, 2018 Alive 17,335 days

Almost certainly Darcie at the dinosaur field, and not Ann Jillian.

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Friday, October 12th, 2018 Alive 17,335 days

A guide pointing out various fossilized dinosaur footprints on the Hopi reservation

Our Navajo guide to the Hopi dinosaur beach. He was so excited to have Ann Jillian visiting his personal dinosaur field, I didnʼt have the heart to tell him that Darcie wasnʼt on Itʼs A Living. Or that Ann Jillian is 70 years old now.

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Do not touch

Friday, October 12th, 2018 Alive 17,335 days

Darcie holding a shard of pottery she found on the ground

Here we see Darcie holding a piece of pottery she found at an abandoned Anasazi city. A few days later we learned that the Navajo believe touching Anasazi pottery shards is super duper bad luck.

There really should be a sign or something.

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Spitting images

Friday, October 12th, 2018 Alive 17,335 days

Darcie taking pictures of the Mittens in Monument Valley

You know that adage about “Donʼt use all your film in one place?” Neither does Darcie.

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Watch out for Spider Woman

Friday, October 12th, 2018 Alive 17,335 days

Darcie at Canyon de Chelly

Darcie is standing in front of the Bernie Sanders of geologic formations. Itʼs not The Grand Canyon. Itʼs The Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty Good Canyon.

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Friday, October 12th, 2018 Alive 17,335 days

Darcie at the Hopi dinosaur field

Back in dinosaur days, this was a muddy clay lake shore. It got silted over, and fossilized eighty brazillion dinosaur footprints. I almost lost my shoes in the muck, too.

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Tuesday, October 9th, 2018 Alive 17,332 days

A Twinkie in the Desert Trucksterʼs visor

It annoys Darcie when I keep mozzarella sticks in the visor of the Desert Truckster, so Iʼve decided to stop.

Thatʼs a Twinkie.

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Sunday, October 7th, 2018 Alive 17,330 days

Darcie out standing in a hogan

Hogan sweet hogan.

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Sunday, October 7th, 2018 Alive 17,330 days

Darcie chowing at Chez Whopper

Weʼve never been to a reservation with a McDonaldʼs. But the big ones all seem to have Burger Kings.

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Saturday, October 6th, 2018 Alive 17,329 days

A Navajo waiter asking Darcie to pick a knife

Darcie was a little startled when the waiter asked her to pick a knife for her steak.

Perhaps it was because he told her, “Choose your weapon.” I shit you not.

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Saturday, October 6th, 2018 Alive 17,329 days

A hungry Darcie in her turquoise

Dinner at a Navajo steakhouse. As you can see around her neck, Darcie decided to bring coal to Newcastle.

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Friday, October 5th, 2018 Alive 17,328 days

A mozzarella stick ready to go

Darcie loves road trips. My habit of storing Arbyʼs deep fried mozzarella sticks in the visor is something she is less fond of.

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Saturday, September 29th, 2018 Alive 17,322 days

Getting the fire ready to cook dinner

Shhh! Nobody tell Darcie Iʼm cooking outdoor dinner again tonight. Sheʼll get McDonaldʼs on her way home!

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Sunday, September 9th, 2018 Alive 17,302 days

Darcie playing a Goonies slot machine at The Mirage

Darcie is becoming a Goonie in 25¢ increments.

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Sunday, September 9th, 2018 Alive 17,302 days

Darcie tucking into dinner

“No, Darcie. Keep eating. I'm just taking a picture of my sammitch.”

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Saturday, September 8th, 2018 Alive 17,301 days

A paper-wrapped present

Darcie always says I live life like itʼs the 1940ʼs. So I guess she wonʼt be surprised to find her anniversary present wrapped in the funnies.

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Saturday, August 25th, 2018 Alive 17,287 days

Darcie: Have you been using my phone?

Me: Why?

Darcie: All my ads have changed.

Me: I Googled “astronaut diapers.”

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Thursday, August 9th, 2018 Alive 17,271 days

A text message exchange

Have you ever wondered what itʼs like to converse with the worldʼs most annoying six-year-old? Just add me to your text message list!

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Sunday, July 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,253 days

Henri next to the ingredients for Chex Mix

Iʼm going to make Chex Mix for Darcie; who is also a Czech mix.

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Monday, July 9th, 2018 Alive 17,240 days

Taco Bell makes me happy that Darcie insists I buy the good, fluffy toilet paper.

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Sunday, July 1st, 2018 Alive 17,232 days

Darcie's three favorite entertainers are:

  • Dean Martin
  • Steve Martin
  • Chris Martin

I see a pattern.

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Saturday, June 9th, 2018 Alive 17,210 days

Darcie photographing a cemetery in Goldfield

Slap a KGFN hat on her head, and Darcie thinks sheʼs a real life Goldfielder.

Sheʼs saving her pennies for the next land auction.

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