Blathr Wayne Lorentz

What is Blathr?

Blathring in February, 2021

Fancy and Indonesian

Sunday, February 28th, 2021 Alive 18,205 days

Decafe Sumatra from Macyʼs Coffee

Last weekʼs coffee was from Ralph Lauren. Todayʼs coffee is from Macyʼs. But not the evil Cincinnati mega retailer that ate Foleyʼs red apple for lunch. This one is Macyʼs Coffee in Flagstaff, Arizona. (Simply “Flag” to the locals.)

Macyʼs Coffee is run by a guy named Macy, and the department store chain doesnʼt seem to notice or care. Unlike Microsoft that sued a kid named Mike Rowe who registered the domain name mikerowesoft.com years ago. But thatʼs another rant.

The specific type is “Decafe Sumatra.” Why itʼs “decafe” instead of “decaf,” I donʼt know. I checked, and “decafe” is not Indonesian for decaf, so maybe Mr. Macy is just trying to be extra fancy. But thatʼs OK, because I like my coffee the way I like my women: fancy and Indonesian.

The coffee is good, as decafs go. A little better than average. Slightly smooth, but not noticeably so unless youʼre looking for it. Decafs are getting hard to find these days. A lot of the independent roasters seem to be cutting down on SKUs, so I either have to search harder or get more exercise. I think you know which option Iʼll choose.

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Mice are not dependents

Sunday, February 28th, 2021 Alive 18,205 days

Annie doing my taxes

“If youʼd get me a computer of my own, I could finish your taxes a lot faster.”

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Greed kills

Sunday, February 28th, 2021 Alive 18,205 days

We interrupt your iPad for this commercial message from Apple

In 2006 and 2007, Steve Jobs famously fought the big cell phone companies because he knew in-device ads would ruin the iPhone experience.

With Tim Cook, the most important thing is whatever makes money.

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Six feet? No problem!

Wednesday, February 24th, 2021 Alive 18,201 days

At the Hallmark store today there was an announcement reminding customers to stay six feet apart.

When has a Hallmark store ever had enough customers to make this a concern?

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Duck and cover

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021 Alive 18,200 days

Contrails

Sometimes living under the outbound flight path from LAX looks a lot like living on a missile range.

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Kitchen, please

Monday, February 22nd, 2021 Alive 18,199 days

Thing nobody asks in a restaurant anymore:

“Smoking or non-smoking?”

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Sunday, February 21st, 2021 Alive 18,198 days

Annie being bored

“The boredom. I has it. Play with me.”

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Sunday, February 21st, 2021 Alive 18,198 days

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by tech companies fucking with you.

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Sunday, February 21st, 2021 Alive 18,198 days

Dear RTHK,

If the government wants to silence you for doing your job, then you must be doing something right.

— A former journalist

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Saturday, February 20th, 2021 Alive 18,197 days

Why is there a door knob on the inside of my pantry door? Do my Froot Loops and Hamburger Helper get claustrophobic during the night and go out for a walk?

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Fashionable upcycling

Wednesday, February 17th, 2021 Alive 18,194 days

A spider plant spider sprouting on a window sill

The Fred Segal stores in Las Vegas closed long ago, but the decorative M&M jars live on as makeshift plant nurseries.

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Moody much?

Monday, February 15th, 2021 Alive 18,192 days

Sunset over the Rainbow Mountains

Thereʼs nothing like a good sunset to make you understand the vastness of the desert, and how insignificant you really are.

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Why is this acceptable?

Sunday, February 14th, 2021 Alive 18,191 days

An error message from an Apple HomePod

A piece of expensive high-tech equipment didnʼt work right in 2021? Shocking!

The error message makes no sense? Thatʼs impossible!

Oh well, Iʼll just look up error number -6753 in the imaginary manual that didnʼt come with the HomePod, and also doesnʼt exist online, or anywhere else.

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Up next: Italian chili

Saturday, February 13th, 2021 Alive 18,190 days

A pair of ragged homemade pizzas

Darcie likes when I make her pizza from scratch. I donʼt do it as often as I should because the dough is a lot of work.

But when I do accede to her cravings, I also make myself a “cowboy pizza.” Itʼs made from whatever I happen to find in the refrigerator that is remotely pizza-like. Peppers, onions, tomatoes, bits of random leftover meats and cheeses.

I call it “cowboy” pizza because I cook it in a cast iron skillet, since I only have one pizza pan.

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Friday, February 12th, 2021 Alive 18,189 days

I think the reason that many people on the internet incorrectly put punctuation outside of closing quotation marks is because they donʼt read books.

If you read, youʼre used to seeing it done correctly, and are familiar with it.

This is correct: “Word.”

This is not correct: “Word”.

Donʼt believe me? Open any book.

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A peak performance

Friday, February 12th, 2021 Alive 18,189 days

Sunrise illuminating the Rainbow Mountains

Sunrise was a little bit different today, so I broke out the good camera. I'll have to do some processing on it to get out the grain, but it's OK for this hour of the morning.

The clouds are over California. The mountain in front is Griffith Peak (11,063 feet), and the one in its shadow is Charleston Peak (11,916 feet).

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127 characters ought be enough for anyone

Friday, February 12th, 2021 Alive 18,189 days

A borked Walmart product listing

Somewhere, a Walmart web developer and his database manager are learning about UTF-8 and utfmb8.

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Friday, February 12th, 2021 Alive 18,189 days

“China flu” — Racist

“U.K. variant” — Somehow not racist

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Saturday, February 6th, 2021 Alive 18,183 days

Me: “Hey, Siri, turn on the foyer lamp.”

Siri: “Playing all songs.”

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Friday, February 5th, 2021 Alive 18,182 days

Hacker News: “Apple wonʼt let me install the software I want!"

Also Hacker News: “Homebrew is awesome!”

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Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021 Alive 18,180 days

A saintly plant pot

Iʼd like to know who the person was who thought, “People like miniature saint statues, and people like plants. What if we made statues so you could grow plants out of the saintsʼ butts?”

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Frame job

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021 Alive 18,180 days

Sunset over the Rainbow Mountains
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D-bag d-pad

Monday, February 1st, 2021 Alive 18,178 days

A 1970ʼs-era d-pad

Iʼve seen people on the internet claim that in 1983 Nintendo was the first company to use buttons instead of a joystick for video games.

The 1970ʼs begs to differ.

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