I hope my neighbors like flowers, because my flowers sure like the neighbors!
Blathring in July, 2018.
Sunday, July 29th, 2018 Alive 17,260 days
Sunday, July 29th, 2018 Alive 17,260 days
Saturday, July 28th, 2018 Alive 17,259 days
How bad is political correctness in Britain? A Wikipedia entry mentioning pirate broadcasters calls them “undocumented radio stations.”
Up next: Burglars are “undocumented homeowners.”
Thursday, July 26th, 2018 Alive 17,257 days
Thursday, July 26th, 2018 Alive 17,257 days
Tuesday, July 24th, 2018 Alive 17,255 days
Monday, July 23rd, 2018 Alive 17,254 days
Monday, July 23rd, 2018 Alive 17,254 days
Monday, July 23rd, 2018 Alive 17,254 days
It turns out that the IT department wonʼt notice you installing your own Mapnik tile server on localhost if itʼs too busy freaking out about your terminal emulator that transforms an HDMI connection into a bad 3270 display, complete with burn-in, flickering, and horizontal hold issues.
Sunday, July 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,253 days
Sunday, July 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,253 days
This morning my egg formed itself into a perfect circle. And I donʼt even own a ring mold.
Itʼs also Red Flag week on the other side of town. Coincidence?
Sunday, July 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,253 days
We have achieved XMODEM on the TRS-80. Weekend project complete.
Sunday, July 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,253 days
Today I left the house because the cat was being an asshole.
It may be time to re-evaluate how I rank around here.
Saturday, July 21st, 2018 Alive 17,252 days
Saturday, July 21st, 2018 Alive 17,252 days
Saturday, July 21st, 2018 Alive 17,252 days
Saturday, July 21st, 2018 Alive 17,252 days
The best thing about internet video is that it finally stopped Canadians from pronouncing “DOS” the way Spanish people pronounce “two.”
Friday, July 20th, 2018 Alive 17,251 days
Thursday, July 19th, 2018 Alive 17,250 days
Today I learned that if you take a sharp turn very quickly, my car thinks itʼs upside down and the hazard lights go mad. So thatʼs a thing.
Tuesday, July 17th, 2018 Alive 17,248 days
A week ago my mutant cacti stopped their weird growth spurt aimed at Area 51. I thought it was over. Then yesterday, they all turned around and started pointing down the road toward Fort Irwin, where the Army has a dozen “villages” identical to various Middle Eastern locations and populated with actual Middle Easterners in order to train the Special Forces.
Itʼs like a Spielberg movie on my mantle.
Sunday, July 15th, 2018 Alive 17,246 days
In April of 1982, I waited an agonizing three weeks for the UPS guy to deliver a 1541 drive that could hold 170K of data.
Tonight, Amazon brought me a drive that holds 25,000 times more data… in 90 minutes… at midnight.
So maybe not everything is more terrible today than it used to be.
Sunday, July 15th, 2018 Alive 17,246 days

Worst diocesan coat of arms in America: The giant dancing beaver repping the Diocese of Albany.
Best diocesan coat of arms in America: The eagle holding a spear from the Diocese of Samoa-Pago Pago.

Saturday, July 14th, 2018 Alive 17,245 days
In 1982 I waited three weeks for the UPS guy to deliver a Commodore 1541 disk drive that held 170K of data.
Tonight, Amazon Prime delivered a Western Digital drive that holds 25,000 times more data in just 90 minutes. At midnight.
Saturday, July 14th, 2018 Alive 17,245 days
Saturday, July 14th, 2018 Alive 17,245 days
Searching for a new butcher this morning, I was reminded once again that you can get anything in Vegas. Anything.
So if anyone needs any coyote chops, bobcat stew meat, peacock thighs, lion fish filets, or otter steaks, I know a place.
Also, guinea pig nards (apparently suitable for slow cookers) are $19.99 a set. A SET!
Friday, July 13th, 2018 Alive 17,244 days
Worst tech job of the 1980’s: Typesetter at Computer Shopper.
Friday, July 13th, 2018 Alive 17,244 days
You want fries with that?
Thursday, July 12th, 2018 Alive 17,243 days
Thursday, July 12th, 2018 Alive 17,243 days
Wednesday, July 11th, 2018 Alive 17,242 days
They say that Iron Chefs can cook anything.
OK, prove it. Bring on Battle: American Cheese.
Wednesday, July 11th, 2018 Alive 17,242 days
Tuesday, July 10th, 2018 Alive 17,241 days
I wonder how many times someoneʼs said aloud, “Hey, Siri, *buuuuuuuuuuuurp!*”
And then he runs into the living room
Monday, July 9th, 2018 Alive 17,240 days
There should be a word for when youʼre taking a leak, and the cat walks between you and the toilet with his tail raised high, and you end up peeing on your own cat.
I mean other than “Eeeeew.”
Monday, July 9th, 2018 Alive 17,240 days
Taco Bell makes me happy that Darcie insists I buy the good, fluffy toilet paper.
Sunday, July 8th, 2018 Alive 17,239 days
Saturday, July 7th, 2018 Alive 17,238 days
Saturday, July 7th, 2018 Alive 17,238 days
Saturday, July 7th, 2018 Alive 17,238 days
Friday, July 6th, 2018 Alive 17,237 days
I ordered Planters cocktail peanuts from Amazon Fresh. It arrived in bubble wrap, instead of packing peanuts.
Seems like an opportunity missed.
Wednesday, July 4th, 2018 Alive 17,235 days
Wednesday, July 4th, 2018 Alive 17,235 days
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2018 Alive 17,234 days
I ate so many Doritos when I was a teen-ager that I may die, but Iʼll never decompose.
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2018 Alive 17,234 days
Monday, July 2nd, 2018 Alive 17,233 days
Sunday, July 1st, 2018 Alive 17,232 days
We all wanted to grow up to be Dr. Johnny Fever or Venus Flytrap.
We ended up being Les Nessman and Herb Tarlek.
Sunday, July 1st, 2018 Alive 17,232 days
There are only two occasions in life when you get to use the word "bevy." Quails and bathing beauties.
Guess which one ran in front of my car today.
Since I live in Las Vegas, the answer may not be as easy as it seems.
Sunday, July 1st, 2018 Alive 17,232 days
Darcie's three favorite entertainers are:
- Dean Martin
- Steve Martin
- Chris Martin
I see a pattern.
Sunday, July 1st, 2018 Alive 17,232 days
This weekend I replaced the backyard hose bib, fixed Darcieʼs leaky toilet, replaced a tail light on my car, replaced a segment of the underground irrigation system, put out the flags, and fixed the hummingbird feeder. Itʼs like Iʼm Harry Homeowner or something.