Why is it that macOS shows square feet for some calculations, and square miles for other nearly identical ones?
How is 0.0052 square miles supposed to be useful? Does anyone anywhere have a sense of how big or small that is?
How bad is political correctness in Britain? A Wikipedia entry mentioning pirate broadcasters calls them “undocumented radio stations.”
Up next: Burglars are “undocumented homeowners.”
If the coffee machine falls asleep at work, what chance do I have?
How do we really know this is a “5 Cheese Pizza?” All those little shreds look alike.
Has anyone in the history of everything said, “Wow! I can really taste the Asiago on this frozen cardboard plank!”
Today I left the house because the cat was being an asshole.
It may be time to re-evaluate how I rank around here.
The best thing about internet video is that it finally stopped Canadians from pronouncing “DOS” the way Spanish people pronounce “two.”
Worst diocesan coat of arms in America: The giant dancing beaver repping the Diocese of Albany.
Best diocesan coat of arms in America: The eagle holding a spear from the Diocese of Samoa-Pago Pago.
In 1982 I waited three weeks for the UPS guy to deliver a Commodore 1541 disk drive that held 170K of data.
Tonight, Amazon Prime delivered a Western Digital drive that holds 25,000 times more data in just 90 minutes. At midnight.
Worst tech job of the 1980’s: Typesetter at Computer Shopper.
Man, I hate when zombies show up in court. Stinks up the joint.
You can tell it’s fake news because there’s no way a hundred Americans have ordered a salad at McDonald’s.
They say that Iron Chefs can cook anything.
OK, prove it. Bring on Battle: American Cheese.
I wonder how many times someoneʼs said aloud, “Hey, Siri, *buuuuuuuuuuuurp!*”
There should be a word for when youʼre taking a leak, and the cat walks between you and the toilet with his tail raised high, and you end up peeing on your own cat.
I mean other than “Eeeeew.”
If you see yard care trucks with the phrase “We speak English” on them, you might live in Nevada.
I ordered Planters cocktail peanuts from Amazon Fresh. It arrived in bubble wrap, instead of packing peanuts.
Seems like an opportunity missed.
Once you’ve tried Your Text coffee, you’ll never go back to Folger’s crystals.
I can go two ways with this:
I ate so many Doritos when I was a teen-ager that I may die, but Iʼll never decompose.
Itʼs been six years since Apple discontinued .mac. I guess I can get rid of the WebDAV bookmark now.
There are only two occasions in life when you get to use the word "bevy." Quails and bathing beauties.
Guess which one ran in front of my car today.
Since I live in Las Vegas, the answer may not be as easy as it seems.
We all wanted to grow up to be Dr. Johnny Fever or Venus Flytrap.
We ended up being Les Nessman and Herb Tarlek.