I shall work here today. But first, lunch.
Youʼre a long way from Wall Street
Thursday, August 31st, 2023 Alive 19,119 days
Squint harder
Sunday, May 28th, 2023 Alive 19,024 days
Saturday, January 7th, 2023 Alive 18,883 days
I wonder if they had a cake
Monday, October 10th, 2022 Alive 18,794 days
Congratulations to the New York Times for not having to print any corrections on Monday, October 10th.
That sounds bitchy, but itʼs not. Journalists donʼt take corrections lightly. Having issued a few, myself, I can tell you that it hurts a lot, and for a long time.
One difference between bloggers and journalists is that journalists let people know when they make mistakes, and print corrections. They donʼt just pop into WordPress and silently change things.
Empty news
Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days
It was just a decade ago that newspapers were fighting for space in Chicagoʼs downtown newspaper racks. Now, nobody cares.
The racks were installed by the second Mayor Daley as part of his efforts to clean up downtown, where busy street corners would sometimes have ten, 15, or even 20 newspaper boxes all chained together, spilling out into the street and blocking both pedestrians and traffic.
The new street furniture brought order, but also controversy. Small and marginal publication accused the city of playing favorites. There was always room for a Tribune drawer, or a Sun-Times drawer, or a Crainʼs Chicago Business drawer; but neighborhood, non-English, classified advertising, and pornography publications couldn't always get in.
Lawsuits were threatened, but I donʼt know if they ever went anywhere. Perhaps simply because right around the same time, people en masse decided to get their news from the internet for free, instead of paying for dead trees. It didn't help that both of the big newspapers doubled their prices (or more) as the internet ate their revenue.
Today, about the only place to get a newspaper in downtown Chicago is in a drug store. And even then, you might have to go to two or three different stores to find one, since so few are printed. There's no need, since work-from-home has made a 2022 weekday lunchtime on LaSalle Street feel like the same location at 6am on a Sunday in 2012.
Only editions
Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days
All the news that ℔Ωℹ︎ℌℑ℁℀… NO CARRIER
Wednesday, February 9th, 2022 Alive 18,551 days
One of my newspapers didnʼt come today. So I tried to let the Houston Chronicle know it has a problem. Naturally, since the conglomerate that ate Houstonʼs paper of record doesnʼt have customer service people on the weekend, I have to fill out a report online. And, naturally, the web site doesnʼt work.
Even if I had to wait on hold for a while to speak to someone about it, a human being could solve the problem immediately. Instead, I have to remember to call the newspaperʼs customer service people during the week to get credit for the missed delivery.
Remember when computers were going to make our lives better?
Thinking is hard
Thursday, November 11th, 2021 Alive 18,461 days
A column in todayʼs newspaper suggests, “Try a plant-based sweetener like Stevia” instead of sugar.
So what exactly to millennials think sugar is made from? Rocks? Oil? The dried, ground up bones of boomers?
Dead tree edition
Monday, September 20th, 2021 Alive 18,409 days
Upper railing
Sunday, September 19th, 2021 Alive 18,408 days
Sheʼs got legs
Monday, July 12th, 2021 Alive 18,339 days
Loaded question
Sunday, June 27th, 2021 Alive 18,324 days
Inky fingers
Sunday, May 23rd, 2021 Alive 18,289 days
Canʼt argue with that
Sunday, April 4th, 2021 Alive 18,240 days
A ton of Newtons
Friday, January 29th, 2021 Alive 18,175 days
This is what happens when your mapping database doesnʼt have coordinates for a town. It puts the town in Kansas.
In this case, the New York Times map jammed Newton, New Jersey in the middle of Kansas. It probably thinks other towns are there, too.
Never trust any data. Always check for NULL and improbable values.
Funny, funnier, funniest
Tuesday, January 19th, 2021 Alive 18,165 days
It all makes sense now
Sunday, January 3rd, 2021 Alive 18,149 days
Minimally moist
Friday, December 18th, 2020 Alive 18,133 days
It is The Onion
Monday, November 30th, 2020 Alive 18,115 days
Navajo times
Saturday, November 21st, 2020 Alive 18,106 days
Saturday, November 7th, 2020 Alive 18,092 days
What could possibly go wrong?
Sunday, September 20th, 2020 Alive 18,044 days
According to todayʼs paper, you can now crush a car, operate heavy machinery, shoot a machine gun, detonate explosives, drive a monster truck, launch flaming arrows, blast flame-throwers, and drink yourself into a stupor all in one place. Because doing all those separately was too much work.
Oh, and thereʼs a brothel on the other side of the ridge.
I can only assume this started with someone from Texas saying, “Yʼknow, thereʼs just too many rules around here.”
Adore me!
Sunday, August 16th, 2020 Alive 18,009 days
Ewe bet
Friday, August 7th, 2020 Alive 18,000 days
A one cow town
Friday, July 10th, 2020 Alive 17,972 days
Baaaaack off
Friday, July 3rd, 2020 Alive 17,965 days
It takes more than texting
Sunday, June 7th, 2020 Alive 17,939 days
Today I learned that one of my friends applied for food stamps because of the COVID situation. I found out about it from an interview in the New York Times. I think that makes me pretty much the definition of a bad friend.
Paper work
Saturday, February 1st, 2020 Alive 17,812 days
When I was in J school, we were issued little pamphlets from the New York Times titled How To Read The New York Times. It was very useful, and one of those things that would be useful for people to read today since so many are burdened by information overload.
The instructions went something like this:
- Throw away all of the sections you donʼt like.
- Put the remaining sections in order of priority.
- Look at the headlines on each page. If a headline doesnʼt interest you, move on.
- If a headline interests you, read the subhead or the photo caption. If youʼre not interested or arenʼt learning anything new, move on.
- Read the first three paragraphs of the article. Move on when you stop learning something new.
This method is still remarkably effective, especially for plowing through a fat pile of Sunday papers.
The only Times sections I toss are the Book Review and the Magazine. I like books, but I want to form my own opinion about them. And the Magazine is just hard to read. The paper is too glossy and the print too small for the stylish lighting in my abode.
Counterintuitively, I find the Sports section quite compelling. Even though I have near zero interest in sportsball, thereʼs always an article in there that is intellectually intriguing. A couple of weeks ago there was a good piece about how “home field advantage” is a thing of the past because teams are so pampered in their palatial practice facilities that even when they play in their home stadium, theyʼre playing on unfamiliar territory. Fun stuff.
Sunday, September 1st, 2019 Alive 17,659 days
Iʼm sitting in a Starbucks reading the New York Times.
Three children politely stare at me as they await their drinks, while their mother whispers privately to them.
On the way out, the mother quietly explains to me: theyʼve never seen a newspaper.
Sunday, August 25th, 2019 Alive 17,652 days
At a time when America needs journalism more than ever, there's a sign up at Starbucks stating that today is the last day that it will sell newspapers.
I wish I had a coffee shop alternative, but such is life in an American suburb.
Suck it, Egon
Sunday, June 23rd, 2019 Alive 17,589 days
There are twelve people at Starbucks this morning.
Three are reading the New York Times. Two are reading the local paper. One is reading a book. The rest are lost in their phones.
I guess journalismʼs not dead after all.