BlathrWayne Lorentz

The magic of work-from-home.

I shall work here today.

One of the bugs in my code has escaped, and is crawling up the wall.

Itʼs open enrollment season again, so I went to a benefits seminar at work. Thatʼs where I learned that we have a party monkey benefit.

You have to actually pay for the monkey, but one of our employee benefits is a service that delivers rental monkeys. It's part of the stress reduction package.

Darcie is going to have the best birthday ever.

If youʼre fleeing from the police, donʼt try to hide under the bush in front of my office window. Because when the cops catch up to you and you try to run, your purse will get snagged on the branches, and no amount of texting will keep you from being frogmarched down to the curb in handcuffs.

Christmas in the cubicle.

Does it count as being “late” for work if the door to the building is blocked by cops frisking a lady?

Sometimes I feel bad for the people who have to work with me.