Blathr Wayne Lorentz

In the event of a fire, proceed quickly and calmly to the emergency exit. Then run uphill over gravel for half a mile in your pajamas.

Worst. Hotel. Entrance. Ever. This is why I valet.

30° air. 105° pool. And thereʼs more minerals in the spring-fed pool than in the rocks they built the hotel with.

• Good: The Timbisha Shoshone indians have opened the first business on their new reservation: a taco stand.
• Bad: Iʼm the only one here.
• Worse: A taco costs ten bucks.

Minutes later, the place filled up with hungry tourists. With the white manʼs government shut down, this is about the only food available in this part of Death Valley.

When I heard that California legalized pot, I knew I couldnʼt stop Darcie.

She hates that joke.

I once suggested we frame Darcieʼs underpants and hang them on the wall. But she didnʼt like the idea until she saw it just now. I guess Darcieʼs just a late bloomer.

She hates that joke.

Darcie rocks. That is all.

Death Valley is kind of a schist hole.

Darcie hates that joke.

You think your soccer mom Escalade is the shit? Make way for my 11-wheeled, steam-powered borax wagon!

The next stagecoach to Tonopah will be… delayed.

And thatʼs pretty much what happened.

Darcie spends a quiet evening writing postcards in the hotel library.

Evening cocktails overlooking Badwater Basin.

Elevation: -281 feet.

Weather: Overcast, with scattered fighter jets.

I shall drink rum and read a Los Angeles Times here.

♫ Iʼve got friends in low places… ♫