Overheard in Albertsons today: “Maddysyn! If you donʼt behave, Iʼm going to send you to school!”
Thursday, March 12th, 2020 Alive 17,852 days
Sunday, September 1st, 2019 Alive 17,659 days
Iʼm sitting in a Starbucks reading the New York Times.
Three children politely stare at me as they await their drinks, while their mother whispers privately to them.
On the way out, the mother quietly explains to me: theyʼve never seen a newspaper.
Wait till they get to Kohlʼs
Saturday, February 2nd, 2019 Alive 17,448 days
I think I’ve figured out why three-year-olds in Target shriek like it’s the worst thing thatʼs ever happen to them.
It’s because they’re three years old, and going to Target probably is the worst thing that’s ever happened to them so far.
Thursday, January 17th, 2019 Alive 17,432 days
Tuesday, December 4th, 2018 Alive 17,388 days
Saturday, November 3rd, 2018 Alive 17,357 days
One of the neighbor kids is learning to play the trumpet. Heʼs terrible, and everyone knows it because he likes to practice outside. It freaks out the cats.
The good news is that heʼs now getting lessons.
The bad news is that now it sounds like there are two people are trying to murder Chuck Mangione in my backyard.