BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Plants.”

You canʼt even spell New Haven

Saturday, November 5th, 2022 Alive 18,820 days

Guy looking at vines at the nursery: *Grunt*

Me: That one is nice and clingy if you want something that will climb brick.

Guy: You know about ivy?

Me: Just from my days at Harvard.

Guy: You went to Harvard?

Me: Lots. I used to deliver pizzas all over New Haven.

Guy: Walks away

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Brown thumb

Thursday, October 27th, 2022 Alive 18,811 days

A statue of Mary of the Missing Hands in my garden

Autumn is here. Time to replace all the plants in my garden that were killed by the Texas summer.

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Sweet potato you got there

Thursday, October 20th, 2022 Alive 18,804 days

An out-of-control potato

A neighbor I’ve never met before knocked on my door tonight and gave me this. She’s moving out, and found it in her refrigerator. She’s admired the garden on my balcony, and thought I might take care of it, since she’s leaving.

Over my wife’s objections, I have put it in a pot with some dirt, and we’ll see what happens when it has sunlight to work with, and not just the dim bulb of a refrigerator.

I can’t imagine what the rest of her refrigerator looks like.

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Leaf me alone

Friday, August 19th, 2022 Alive 18,742 days

A cup of coffee with leaf latte art from Greenway Coffee

I wonder what kind of leaf this is. To me, it looks like a philodendron, left in the corner office of a skyscraper after everyoneʼs switched to work-from-home.

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Thereʼs a fungus among us

Wednesday, August 17th, 2022 Alive 18,740 days

Mushrooms in Hermann Park

I donʼt know if thereʼs too much water, or too much mulch on this hillock, but either way the result is a ʼshroom with a view!

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Rain-dappled?

Friday, July 1st, 2022 Alive 18,693 days

A rain-dappled leaf in my garden

It rained last night, so this morning, I can be an artsy-fartsy photographer in the garden.

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BushX

Saturday, June 25th, 2022 Alive 18,687 days

Yellow flowers sprout from a bush of unknown provenance

This morning, one of the bushes in my garden decided to surprise me with yellow flowers.

Good bush.

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Om nom nom nom

Sunday, June 19th, 2022 Alive 18,681 days

The caterpillar thatʼs been making a meal of my swiss cheese plant

I decided to see why the holes in my Swiss cheese plant are so much larger than they should be, and found this little guy curled up in the garden.

I guess I should squish him or spray him or something. But I think Iʼll just let him have the plant. I can grow another. And the world needs butterflies more than I need yet another plant. Plus, birds gotta eat, too!

I shall call him “Herman.”

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Youʼre a pond hen

Tuesday, May 24th, 2022 Alive 18,655 days

The reflecting pool outside the New Orleans Museum of Art

Meet my friend, Lily. This is her pad.

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Monday, May 23rd, 2022 Alive 18,654 days

Ferns sprouting from a crack in a tomb

Nature finds a way.

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Time to mow the roof, too

Monday, May 23rd, 2022 Alive 18,654 days

Plants growing out of hotelʼs downspouts, and sprouting from its facade

If you have plants growing out of your hotelʼs downspouts, it might be time to hire a different maintenance crew.

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Amateurs

Saturday, May 21st, 2022 Alive 18,652 days

The Howdy Kolache logo

If I had an Instagram account, I could tell the supposedly Texas-style Howdy Kolache company that saguaro cacti donʼt grow in Texas. They only grow in southwestern Arizona, hundreds of miles away.

Iʼd tell them myself, but like many hobby companies these days, the only way to make contact is via the one random social media app of their choice.

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Hang in there

Sunday, May 1st, 2022 Alive 18,632 days

An ambitious plant

Come on, Mr. Plant! Only 27 feet to go! Streeeeeetch!

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The smell of a bakery?

Saturday, April 30th, 2022 Alive 18,631 days

The Japanese garden at Hermann Park

Grass, flowers, turtle, rock. Everyoneʼs looking in the same direction. Except for me. Iʼm looking at them looking at something else. Must be quite a show.

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Lillies, sans water

Wednesday, April 27th, 2022 Alive 18,628 days

Sprouts defy the sun-baked earth

Nature finds a way.

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Howʼs the gift shop?

Saturday, February 19th, 2022 Alive 18,561 days

I spent the morning at the tree museum. I think the Houston Botanic Garden will be really nice in ten years or so. Today, it looks a lot like itʼs just barely gotten off the ground. Lots of saplings on bare earth. Bulldozers. Sections cordoned off for construction. Urban hillbillies riding quads over the exhibits.

I became a member last year, but probably wonʼt renew. The benches that were nice for sitting on and looking at nature have been removed. Itʼs doing concerts now, farming for restaurants, and charging unwarranted prices to walk through its Christmas lights display. Even members have to pay, which is very unusual amongst serious musea.

It has a good location, and lots of potential. I suspect that the financial pressures of COVID have caused its leadership to lose its way in the forest.

Plants at the Houston Botanic Garden
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Itʼs tiny

Monday, September 6th, 2021 Alive 18,395 days

A tiny flower

My tiny moss has made a tiny flower.

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Too small for a lei

Saturday, March 27th, 2021 Alive 18,232 days

A cascade of spider plants

The spider plants Iʼm growing in tiki mugs on my kitchen wall have started to bloom.

Also, Iʼm growing spider plants in tiki mugs on my kitchen wall.

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Fashionable upcycling

Wednesday, February 17th, 2021 Alive 18,194 days

A spider plant spider sprouting on a window sill

The Fred Segal stores in Las Vegas closed long ago, but the decorative M&M jars live on as makeshift plant nurseries.

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Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021 Alive 18,180 days

A saintly plant pot

Iʼd like to know who the person was who thought, “People like miniature saint statues, and people like plants. What if we made statues so you could grow plants out of the saintsʼ butts?”

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Canʼt be good at everything

Saturday, January 23rd, 2021 Alive 18,169 days

A few sprouts in a big pot

I'm trying to grow lavender on my windowsill. It's been a month, and this is all I have to show for it.

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Saturday, June 23rd, 2018 Alive 17,224 days

Mutant cacti

It doesn't matter where I move my plants in the house, they still do this crazy shit in the direction of Area 51.

Freaking UFOʼs.

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Saturday, June 16th, 2018 Alive 17,217 days

Mutant cacti

If your house plants start doing this, you might live too close to Area 51.

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