Blathr Wayne Lorentz

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Showing blathrs with the tag “Cacti.”


Saturday, May 21st, 2022 Alive 18,652 days

The Howdy Kolache logo

If I had an Instagram account, I could tell the supposedly Texas-style Howdy Kolache company that saguaro cacti donʼt grow in Texas. They only grow in southwestern Arizona, hundreds of miles away.

Iʼd tell them myself, but like many hobby companies these days, the only way to make contact is via the one random social media app of their choice.

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Comes already spiked

Friday, March 11th, 2022 Alive 18,581 days

Prickly pear soda from H.E.B.

If your local supermarket carries soda made from cacti, you might live in Texas.

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Sunday, February 24th, 2019 Alive 17,470 days

The skeleton of a cactus

Seeing a cactus skeleton is a good way to understand how much water they store.

The large black things are hare droppings. The tiny black dots that cover everything is called cryptobiotic soil: “cyanobacteria that cement the soil together. It provides nutrients for plants and seeds, and increases the soil topography which allows greater moisture absorption. This crust is only a few millimeters thick and is easily destroyed when walked on. Recovery can take between 7 and 250 years. Please donʼt walk on it.”

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Donʼt be a prick

Friday, November 9th, 2018 Alive 17,363 days

The Ethel M Cactus Garden

I wish I could decorate the cacti in my garden like this, but I just donʼt have the gloves for it.

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Sunday, August 19th, 2018 Alive 17,281 days

Annie trying to take a bite out of a cactus

Annie is cute. Not smart. Just cute.

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Tuesday, July 17th, 2018 Alive 17,248 days

Mutant cacti

A week ago my mutant cacti stopped their weird growth spurt aimed at Area 51. I thought it was over. Then yesterday, they all turned around and started pointing down the road toward Fort Irwin, where the Army has a dozen “villages” identical to various Middle Eastern locations and populated with actual Middle Easterners in order to train the Special Forces.

Itʼs like a Spielberg movie on my mantle.

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