Meanwhile, outside my office window, in the middle of traffic…
Tuesday, February 12th, 2019 Alive 17,458 days
Tuesday, February 5th, 2019 Alive 17,451 days
Yes, reusing plastic shopping bags is one way to save on airline baggage fees when visiting Las Vegas.
But in case your oversized TJMaxx carrier blows out a block from your hotel, disgorging all of your worldly possessions onto sidewalk, you might want to have a Plan B.
Monday, February 4th, 2019 Alive 17,450 days
This is what happens when a homeless guy watches too much Marie Kondo on Netflix.
At least he has the sense to keep the waffle iron.
Thursday, January 17th, 2019 Alive 17,432 days
So this guy rolls up on his motorcycle, pulls a suit bag out of his pannier and hangs it in a tree. Then he pulls out a big tub of Windex Wipes and gives himself a full bath — underbits and all — while standing in the parking lot. Then he unzips the suit bag, puts on a tuxedo, and walks away down the street. Ta da!
Thursday, December 27th, 2018 Alive 17,411 days
Thursday, December 6th, 2018 Alive 17,390 days
Wednesday, December 5th, 2018 Alive 17,389 days
Tuesday, December 4th, 2018 Alive 17,388 days
Monday, December 3rd, 2018 Alive 17,387 days
Friday, November 30th, 2018 Alive 17,384 days
Tuesday, November 20th, 2018 Alive 17,374 days
Wednesday, November 7th, 2018 Alive 17,361 days
If youʼre fleeing from the police, donʼt try to hide under the bush in front of my office window. Because when the cops catch up to you and you try to run, your purse will get snagged on the branches, and no amount of texting will keep you from being frogmarched down to the curb in handcuffs.
Tuesday, November 6th, 2018 Alive 17,360 days
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2018 Alive 17,346 days
Tuesday, October 16th, 2018 Alive 17,339 days
Thursday, September 20th, 2018 Alive 17,313 days
Wednesday, September 19th, 2018 Alive 17,312 days
Thursday, September 13th, 2018 Alive 17,306 days
“Hi, there. Iʼm building a temple to my Earth goddess in the abandoned Burger King across the street, so Iʼm collecting samples of all the trees in the neighborhood to sacrifice in my Gender Studies class. Can I rip some branches off of your tree and put them in my blue bucket? K, thanks! Also, Iʼm high as fuck.”