BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Clean.”

Stick that in your [redacted] and smoke it

Friday, September 9th, 2022 Alive 18,763 days

A “25 pack!” of fuzzy sticks

At Wal-Mart, pipe cleaners are now called “fuzzy sticks.” Iʼm not sure what to blame for this change in terminology. Perhaps:

  • Kids don't do arts and crafts anymore, so they have no use for pipe cleaners?
  • Pipes are associated with tobacco, so we can't let children know they exist?
  • There are enough people in the world who have never seen a pipe that they wouldn't know how to clean one?

I guess all of the new people don't know about Sherlock Holmes.

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Generational dirt

Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days

The CTA Red Line Chicago station

Iʼm pretty sure I recognize all of this dirt from the last time I lived in Chicago about eight years ago.

Thereʼs no reason for any CTA station to look like this, especially considering that it has fewer passengers now than in recent years.

If the CTA canʼt handle basic sanitation, how poorly run are the rest of its operations? More to the point — How are passengers supposed to feel safe, if they canʼt even feel clean?

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Just put that everywhere

Friday, December 18th, 2020 Alive 18,133 days

Today I learned that when you see a vacuum cleaner making perfect clean lines through a patch of dirt in a television commercial, itʼs not actually dirt. Itʼs 20 ounces of freshly ground coffee.

I learned this by accidentally dumping 20 ounces of freshly ground coffee on the kitchen counter. And the floor. And the cat, who bolted out of there like a four-wheeler at the start of a cross-country mud race, spewing coffee everywhere.

Still, the vacuum works pretty good. And making perfect clean lines through the debris is very soothing.

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Mrs. Clean

Tuesday, September 1st, 2020 Alive 18,025 days

Today I saw Darcie using the wet Swiffer mop thing to clean the kitchen counters.

She's either mad, or a genius, or a mad genius.

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Sunday, September 1st, 2019 Alive 17,659 days

It turns out that Tide Dry Cleaners canʼt handle the Apple Card via Apple Pay.

The card terminal says “Approved,” but the POS system rejects it immediately after.

The physical card works OK. And other cards work fine via Apple Pay. Itʼs just the Apple Card that is giving it fits.

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