Blathr Wayne Lorentz

What is Blathr?
Showing blathrs with the tag “Adobe.”

Not that kind of pharmacy!

Monday, December 4th, 2023 Alive 19,214 days

Why is it that half of the videographers who post on Adobe Stock think pharmacists use stethoscopes, and the other half think pharmacists work by candlelight with mortars and pestles?

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Thatʼs unpossible!

Thursday, October 12th, 2023 Alive 19,161 days

An error message from Adobe Stock

But… itʼs the cloud! There can be no errors, because itʼs in the cloud so itʼs all made of magic unicorn fairy dust. Thereʼs even a picture of the cloud right there. Nothing ever goes wrong in the cloud!

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Nes. Yo.

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2023 Alive 19,110 days

A confusing message from Adobe

Adobe canʼt decide if Acrobat is up to date, or not. I finally had to uninstall the whole suite in order to get it to start making sense of itself.

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Tuesday, August 22nd, 2023 Alive 19,110 days

An incorrect string

Somehow, I donʼt think this is right.

The tech industry would benefit from ditching “Move fast and break things” and segueing into “Attention to detail is a sign of quality.”

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Performance anxiety

Wednesday, March 29th, 2023 Alive 18,964 days

Me: “Oh, cool, my new work computer has a battery that lasts all day!”

Adobe Creative Cloud: “Hold my beer…”

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Atlantic City can't get a break

Friday, August 19th, 2022 Alive 18,742 days

Looking for a fine collection of photos depicting Mozambique, Italy, Japan, and the Middle East? Just search Adobe Stock for “Atlantic City, New Jersey.”

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“Try to look like you're on skag”

Friday, July 29th, 2022 Alive 18,721 days

Have you ever noticed that if you search for “doctor patient vaccine” in Adobe Stock, 90% of the fake doctors injecting their fake patients are using the same technique that a junkie uses to mainline skag? Have these photographers never received any kind of vaccine ever in their lives?

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There are alternatives

Monday, June 17th, 2019 Alive 17,583 days

Notification spam from Adobe

Live now: Adobe sends me spam from a product that I pay for!

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Sunday, February 24th, 2019 Alive 17,470 days

The reds of the Valley of Fire, as it actually often appears to the human eye, which is hard for people who live in humid places to understand

When I load photos of Valley of Fire into programs like Lightroom, they automatically crank the color down 15 notches because the programmers at Adobe in Seattle canʼt conceive of a place that isnʼt as humid and grey as where they live.

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