A mystery error on a bank web site. Thatʼs OK. Itʼs not like people trust banks with their money or anything.
Theyʼre working on it
Wednesday, February 15th, 2023 Alive 18,922 days
The CSS is 404, too
Monday, February 13th, 2023 Alive 18,920 days
Math = hard
Saturday, February 11th, 2023 Alive 18,918 days
Itʼs not even Shabbat
Thursday, February 2nd, 2023 Alive 18,909 days
Well, hereʼs something you almost never see: an error message from the B&H web site.
B&H takes its web presence very seriously, and is among the planetʼs biggest targets for criminals. But somehow the boffins on 9th Avenue manage to keep the fraudsters at bay, while maintaining a web site that is fast, complex, and fairly easy to use.
This error message didnʼt last long. Only a few seconds. Perhaps today is a good day to buy a lottery ticket.
Squee the mechanic
Friday, January 27th, 2023 Alive 18,903 days
A thorough review, Iʼm sure
Tuesday, January 24th, 2023 Alive 18,900 days
Donʼt sweat the details
Friday, January 20th, 2023 Alive 18,896 days
Silicon Valley tech companies gotta Silicon Valley. Amirite?
Apple has a new version of its HomePod device available. Much like most of its previous devices, itʼs built for people who live in the greater San Francisco area, where the weather is largely placid, boring and uneventful. In other words — entirely unlike most of the rest of the planet.
The web page about the new HomePod includes this footnote about its temperature and humidity sensors:
Temperature and humidity sensing is optimized for indoor, domestic settings, when ambient temperatures are around 15°C to 30°C and relative humidity is around 30% to 70%.
Well, 15°C is 59 degrees. How often do people let it get down to 59 degrees in their homes? All the time.
There is no shortage of basements in places like Green Bay, Minneapolis, and the entire nation of Canada where people have a basement that has been kitted out as a family room, or a den, or a home office and that remains unheated most of the year. One of Appleʼs scenarios for using the HomePod temperature sensor is that it can be paired with other HomeKit gear to automatically turn on a heater if it gets too cold. Great. Except that if your chosen temperature for activating the heat in your unused basement or attic rec room is below 59°, Apple admits itʼs not going to be reliable.
On the hot side, OK, itʼs unusual to have an indoor temperature above 86°. But Iʼve had it in my house many times when the humidity was low and I lived in the desert. Many days in the spring and fall when Iʼd have the windows wide open enjoying the warm breeze and low humidity, the indoor temperature would get to 86°. If the cat was sleeping, that was fine. Sheʼd eventually wake up and start complaining, and Iʼd have to close the windows and bring the temperature down to 80-ish for her. But thatʼs to be expected, since she wears a fur coat. If I didnʼt have the cat, Iʼd probably have the temperature higher. And Iʼm not alone. Thereʼs a reason millions of people retire to hot places.
The humidity range is oddly narrow, too. Iʼm sure that 30% humidity is bone-crackingly dry in Cupertino. In Nevada, itʼs a bit clammy. When I lived there, the outdoor humidity reported by the National Weather Service was regularly in the single digits. And both of my indoor humidity sensors almost always showed readings well below 30%. Both of them appeared to have the same sensor under the hood, since they both stopped reporting humidity at 10%. These werenʼt expensive high-tech scientific humidity sensors. One I bought at the Apple Store for about $100. The other came from the supermarket, and cost about ten bucks. But it was perfectly happy reporting humidity far lower than what Apple considers reliable for its equipment.
Living in the Bay Area, Apple employees canʼt possible envision indoor humidity above 70%, but guess what — thatʼs a perfectly ordinary occurrence in most of the southern United States, including Florida, New Orleans, and Houston — the fourth-largest city in the nation. According to my HomeKit-connected humidity sensor, the humidity inside my house has been over 80% five times in the last two months.
All of this continues a pattern at Apple of designing products that only work well in the very specific, very ordinary weather conditions of Silicon Valley. Things like iPod headphone cords that get brittle in a Chicago winter, and iPhones that shut themselves off in temperatures that are common for millions of people who live in desert environments.
Apple has the money, the resources, and the people to do better. Why it chooses not to remains unclear.
The blue screen of lost sales
Wednesday, January 11th, 2023 Alive 18,887 days
Well, thatʼs a problem
Sunday, January 1st, 2023 Alive 18,877 days
It must be interesting to work for a company big enough to invent its own HTML entities.
It must also be interesting when your boss lets you know that you didnʼt escape them, or parse them, or whatever and theyʼre showing on the public web site.
I presume that &NFi; is supposed to be parsed as <i>, and &NFi_; as </i>.
Maybe it tastes like cheese?
Wednesday, December 14th, 2022 Alive 18,859 days
404, yʼall
Monday, December 12th, 2022 Alive 18,857 days
Legacy of Texas is the online store of the Texas State Historical Association.
Apparently, itʼs all hat and no cattle.
Gotta <p>
Tuesday, December 6th, 2022 Alive 18,851 days
Say what?
Wednesday, November 30th, 2022 Alive 18,845 days
News anchor on WGN-TV: ”Thank you, Terry Savage.”
The HomePod across my living room: “*bing* Hi there!”
I guess my HomePodʼs name is Terry Savage.
Saturday, November 26th, 2022 Alive 18,841 days
Mr: “Hey, Siri, add pretzels to my groceries list.”
Siri: “Who is speaking?”
Me: “Wayne”
Siri: “Sure. Here's home music picked just for you.”
Friday, November 25th, 2022 Alive 18,840 days
It's called a “tech stack” because of how easily it falls over.
Whatʼs a DVD?
Tuesday, November 15th, 2022 Alive 18,830 days
Better late than never
Tuesday, November 15th, 2022 Alive 18,830 days
Itʼs the only way to be sure
Thursday, November 3rd, 2022 Alive 18,818 days
Upgrading macOS on a headless Mac is an iffy proposition. The last time I did this, I ended up nuking the whole machine and restoring from a backup.
If it works, Iʼll go across the street and buy a lottery ticket.
30 minutes later…

Hold my place
Friday, October 28th, 2022 Alive 18,812 days
Try a Clié
Thursday, October 27th, 2022 Alive 18,811 days
I know that Iʼm not perfect. I know that while I think my web sites work on every device, thereʼs probably a configuration out there on which they fall over. But the University of Houston/Downtown really has no excuse for this.
How is it possible for an organization to put out a public web site in 2022 that doesnʼt work on mobile phones? Itʼs bad enough that this page from UH/D is cut off on the right side, but there is no way to even scroll to the right to see whatʼs missing! And this is on a recent iPhone, not some obscure open source homebrew kit.
I preview every single web page I build for desktop, tablet, and two mobile phones. Every one. Sometimes dozens each week.
The University of Houston/Downtown brags that itʼs the second-largest university in Americaʼs fourth-largest city. Surely, someone on campus must have a smart phone to test with.
How about “An unknown error occurred?”
Wednesday, October 26th, 2022 Alive 18,810 days
Just call
Tuesday, October 25th, 2022 Alive 18,809 days
The ants got it
Tuesday, October 25th, 2022 Alive 18,809 days
Koop your money
Monday, October 17th, 2022 Alive 18,801 days
Another day, another technology that fails to live up to its billing. This is a familiar one: Amazon.com, and its Amazon Music service.
Today I tried to play the album Koop Islands by the band Koop. Except that I canʼt.
Whenever I press the play button on one of the album's songs, Amazon Music plays something other than the song I requested.
I clicked on Koopʼs song Come to Me and it played the song In the Morning by Natural Self.
I clicked on Koopʼs song Koop Island Blues and Amazon Music played the song Ode to Billie Joe by Nicola Conte.
If Amazon canʼt handle something as simple as playing music, maybe I shouldnʼt let it store my credit card information.

Is it Svørjfunbsn already?
Monday, October 17th, 2022 Alive 18,801 days
Customer “service”
Sunday, October 16th, 2022 Alive 18,800 days
Today I had the misfortune of trying to use Starbucks customer service. I donʼt know which middle manager got a big bonus out of this scheme, but do hope that someday that person has to use the system he set up. Itʼs a masterpiece of outsourcing failure.
I placed an order on the Starbucks web site to send an e-gift card to someone. Immediately, I received an e-mail receipt. A few minutes later, I received an e-mail stating that “We were unable to process your eGift Card order from Starbucks.”
I placed the order again. Once again, the receipt came immediately. Then the same automated processing failure letter.
I tried once more, the next day, with a different payment card. Same story.
Finally, I decided to call the phone number. After all, customer service is available seven days a week. It turns out all that means is that the phone number is answered seven days a week. It doesnʼt mean anything can be done to fix the problem.
After being transferred three times, and reading the order number to three different people, I was finally informed that all the people who answer the phone are allowed to do is send an e-mail to another department letting them know that I'd like to place an order.
Eventually I received another e-mail from Starbucks “customer service:”
However, if you are still in need of a gift card we recommend replacing your order.
Good idea. As suggested, I “replaced” my order. I replaced my Starbucks gift card order with one for an Amazon.com gift card.
Duckduckfail
Thursday, October 13th, 2022 Alive 18,797 days
Not yours. Canʼt has.
Tuesday, October 11th, 2022 Alive 18,795 days
Streaming media is one of the many areas of technology that has failed to live up to its hype.
Streaming services use vague marketing words promising “unlimited” this and “endless” that. But the seldom-acknowledged fact is that if you rely on streaming music services, the music you love could just disappear tomorrow with no notice, or recourse. Thanks for the money, donʼt let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
Just like how newspapers publish lists of whatʼs going to disappear from Netflix at the end of the month, streaming music also gains and loses music and artists regularly.
The screenshot above is Amazon Music telling me that it no longer has any songs by Comsat Angels. It knows Comsat Angels. It used to have Comsat Angels music. But not today. If you love Comsat Angels and give money to Amazon Music, youʼre out of luck.
Streaming music is the same thing as renting music. You donʼt own it. It can be taken away from you at any time.
Itʼs similar to when Microsoft abandoned its e-book store and millions of people lost the millions of books they thought they owned. A digital librarian sneaked into their homes in the middle of the night, emptied their shelves, and left behind a note reading, “Didnʼt you read page 640 of the EULA? You only rented these books. Sucker.”
This is all fine if all you care about is whatever is trendy over the last 48 hours. But people connect to books, movies, and especially music emotionally. Thatʼs why people create music. And to have those emotions yanked away from you is going to be hard on people once they realize that the things they once loved have disappeared and they didnʼt know it was going to happen.
As for the Comsat Angels, Iʼll hit the local record stores to find what Iʼm looking for. Then Iʼll own it. For real and forever.
Mass hysteria
Monday, October 10th, 2022 Alive 18,794 days
I spend too much time pointing out the shortcomings of modern technology. Thereʼs a reason that Tech and Fail are among my most populated blathr tags.
Today, however, Iʼd like to point out what, on the surface, looks like a tech success story. But at a deeper level is the success of a traditional brick-and-mortar retailer to adapt to changes in society in order to — literally — deliver better than a tech company did.
It started a couple of days ago, when I ordered something medical from Amazon.com. In general, I donʼt buy anything that goes on or in a living being from Amazon. Between counterfeits, people selling used items as new, and a constantly-growing list of other reasons, relying on Amazon just isnʼt safe anymore. When your company canʼt even prevent selling bogus copies of books, you have a problem.
In this case, however, I ordered from Amazon because the medical thing I needed was not available from any of the CVS or Walgreens stores that I can reach, and purchasing from Walmart meant waiting two to three weeks for delivery. Walmart used to be safer than Amazon, but has recently decided to trod the same road to unreliability by embracing unknown, unverified, and dubious independent sellers.
What Amazon delivered was clearly not suitable. Instead of being in branded packaging, the item was in a Zip-Loc bag. Legitimate medical items arenʼt packaged in consumer baggies. Legitimate medical items are also not labeled by hand in ball-point pen. And they also donʼt spill their contents during shipping, unless they are seriously mishandled. The box that the item arrived in was in fine shape, and the medical item sufficiently padded.
Exasperated, I went to the CVS web site to see if perhaps the item was back in stock my local store. The CVS web site would not function. So I tried Walgreens. Except, this time instead of specifying a store that I can get to easily by train, I let the Walgreens web site pick one. And it did a splendid job.
The item I needed was in stock at a Walgreens in an area I would never think to travel to. So I put two in my cart, selected “Same day delivery” and went back to reading my New York Times.
Before I could finish the International section, there was a guy dropping a paper bag on my doorstep.
I checked my e-mail and found that the time from when I placed my order online until Walgreens notified me that my order was ready to be delivered was four minutes. Four minutes. It was picked up minutes after that, and delivered to me straight away.
The total time from when I placed the order to when I received my Walgreens order was 22 minutes. For an item that I couldn't get at a drug store near me, and that Amazon sent a counterfeit of.
Yes, I had to pay $3.99 for the delivery. But the item was a dollar cheaper at Walgreens than at Amazon, and I ordered two of them. So the cost difference was $1.99. More importantly — I got what I paid for.
Walgreens is better than Amazon. Man bites dog. The sky is green. Everything the tech bubble has been preaching about the death of brick-and-mortar is wrong.
Curiouser and curiouser
Monday, October 10th, 2022 Alive 18,794 days
Funny how Microsoft has no problem at all automatically opting me in to sharing my personal information with its “partners” within four seconds of me creating an account. But if I try to opt-out, it suddenly canʼt cope.
If a simple toggle of a button can bring Microsoft to its knees, why would I trust it with anything at all? Is this the power, resiliency, and scaleability of the masterful Azure “cloud” its always talking about?
See if they have any common sense
Friday, October 7th, 2022 Alive 18,791 days
The Walmart app has a filter labeled ”Show available items only.” Seriously? Why would I want a store to show me things that it doesnʼt have?
Who goes to a store, or looks at a storeʼs app and thinks to themselves, “I wonder if they donʼt have this?” “Hey, Walmart, show me all the things that you canʼt sell."
What kind of things are on Walmartʼs list of things it doesnʼt have. Fabergé eggs? The Loch Ness Monster? Maybe the Popeʼs mitre?
Walmart is far from the only store guilty of this. Amazon is among the worst offenders. Target and Walgreens, too.
How does showing things you donʼt have benefit a customer?
Your call is very important to us…
Monday, October 3rd, 2022 Alive 18,787 days
“This call is being recorded for quality assurance.”
Really? Me, too. Same reason.
Recact-o-matic
Saturday, October 1st, 2022 Alive 18,785 days
When H.E.B. says the grocery delivery person is 17 minutes away, thatʼs how I know he's standing outside my door unloading his cart. It's always exactly 17 minutes. I get the text message, look for the cat acting up, and can see the shadow of the delivery person outside my door.
Consistency is a good thing. And “consistently wrong” is a type of consistency, right?
Break a leg!
Friday, September 30th, 2022 Alive 18,784 days
Houston Methodist Hospital has eighty-brazillion dollars and ninty-brazillion employees. If it canʼt keep its webview from breaking a leg, what am I supposed to do?
Also, someone should fix that grammar. It's probably Epicʼs default, but that doesnʼt make it right.
Thanks for nothing
Thursday, September 29th, 2022 Alive 18,783 days
Warm fuzzy logic
Wednesday, September 28th, 2022 Alive 18,782 days
It's nice that iOS 16 lets people know the phone is too hot when it does things. It used to do things, but not tell you.
When I lived in the desert, just having an iPhone in your pocket or on a table could sometimes cause the phone to turn itself off. If you were lucky, you'd see something very quickly appear on the screen about “Entering thermal shutdown” or some such. A minute later, you were out in the desert without a working phone.
Apple, and most tech companies, build their products for the environment where Apple, and most tech companies, are located — San Francisco. When I talk to tech people who work at these companies, sometimes they simply cannot wrap their brains around weather conditions that are commonplace elsewhere.
Another example is iPhone wired headphones. Theyʼre made with plastic that gets brittle in the cold. Of course, when youʼre bundled up against the cold is when you need your headphones the most. That was how I learned about Bluetooth headphones, and got a set of Sony headphones for use with my SonyEricsson M600c when commuting on the CTA in the middle of the night during Chicago winters. Apple wouldnʼt make its own wireless headphones until over a decade later.
I have plenty of credentials
Thursday, September 22nd, 2022 Alive 18,776 days
“Insufficient” means “not enough,” it doesnʼt mean wrong. “Incorrect” is closer to what FortiClient is trying to say. This is why tech companies should hire a proofreader for anything that leaves the building, even if only on a contract basis. It makes you look amateur, and in the case of this security app — insecure.
Also, if you use “credential(s),” rather than just counting the number of credentials and using the correct word, thatʼs just lazy.
Ask what you mean
Thursday, September 22nd, 2022 Alive 18,776 days
Still better than %NaN%
Saturday, September 17th, 2022 Alive 18,771 days
I guess someone on the iOS 16 team at Apple didnʼt check for NULL before shoving the date data into the string formatter. The lesson is, of course, that while you never trust external data, sometimes you can't trust internal data, either.
Still, Apple is the single largest company on the planet right now. If it canʼt do software, what chance do I have?
Brain freeze
Thursday, September 15th, 2022 Alive 18,769 days
Agree, and be ignored
Thursday, September 15th, 2022 Alive 18,769 days
The ITV News app does not allow you to reject cookies. Not even optional ones. The only choice you have is to agree to its folksy question “You ok [sic] with our use of cookies?”

But, wait — it gets worse. Even if you accept the cookies, all that happens is the over-friendly “Agreed!” button gets greyed out. You never actually get to proceed to the ITV News app.
As the Brits say, it's “not fit for purpose.”
You did this to yourself
Wednesday, September 14th, 2022 Alive 18,768 days
Word to your motherboard
Tuesday, September 13th, 2022 Alive 18,767 days
Delivery headache
Tuesday, September 13th, 2022 Alive 18,767 days
Do what?
Monday, September 12th, 2022 Alive 18,766 days
There's a big push in large healthcare companies to make things easier for patients. It sounds dumb to have to state that, but there has not always been the institutional will to care for patients on their level. But a lot of studies and computer models have shown that something as simple as repeating instructions to a patient can improve the outcomes of treatment in a percentage of people. With so many people in the world now, even a small change can mean enormous savings in money for hospitals, insurance companies, and the patients, themselves.
Unfortunately, we're still at the beginning of the process of bringing the healthcare institutions down to the level of the people they are supposed to serve. The use of regular language and easy methods is spreading, but remains uneven.
To wit: The image above, which is the first question asked when trying to book an imaging appointment with Houston Methodist Hospital.
This is an online form for patients, not doctors. When a regular person phones Methodist to make an imaging appointment, it suggests you use this form to make the appointment online.
I am not a doctor. How am I supposed to know if I need an “MRI 1.5T Wide Bore with Contrast,” or an “MRI 3T without Contrast,”, or a “Fluoroscopy,” or something else? It turns out the type of appointment I need isn't even listed in the options.
As someone who builds healthcare web sites for a living, I understand the technical reasons why this is the way it is. But I also understand that it doesn't have to be this way.
There are people in healthcare who care quite a lot about making things easier, and therefore better, for patients. That caring and understanding rarely pervades and entire organization. But it has to.
What we see here is, in my semi-expert opinion, a breakdown in the chain of caring. Something got outsourced to an external company that doesn't have to care. Someone didn't get trained in the importance of making things easier for the patients, and let this awful thing see the light of day. Some web developer somewhere doesn't have the authority, confidence, or will to question what's been handed to him to produce. He's just there to push buttons and cash a check.
Every person at every level of a healthcare organization not only had to be told to care, but trained to care. Even, and especially, the directors and C-levels. The upper levels are told about how much money can be saved by making healthcare more accessible to ordinary people. But they aren't trained in what that actually looks like, so they are not able to spot mistakes as they're happening, so they can have the people under them correct the problems before they persist and spread. Allowing people to say “That's the way we've always done it” is evidence of a sclerotic organization.
Similarly, and as alluded to above, with the continual outsourcing of functions, you also end up outsourcing caring. Someone pasting together AJAX snippets from StackOverflow in an SalesForce application on the other side of the planet doesn't care that the web site is useless to 90% of users. They've done their job, and that's all their staffing company cares about. It's important to understand that lack of detail and care makes your healthcare company look bad, and it hurts your bottom line by making your treatments less effective, and making your doctors work more.
Everyone in a healthcare organization has to not only care about the patients, but be trained in this. Not just the hands-on people like doctors and nurses and patient liaisons. Everyone. The people who process forms. The people in accounting. And, yes, the I.T. people. Every single person in a healthcare organization affects patients in some way.
To its credit, of the dozens healthcare organizations I've interacted with in dozens of states, Methodist is among the better and more advanced with regard to how it treats its patients. But the process is incomplete.
Healthcare companies talk a lot about caring. But unless there is an ethos of responsibility to the patient that includes every single person in that organization, it's all just marketing.
Weʼre number what?
Monday, September 12th, 2022 Alive 18,766 days
Iʼm always trying to explain to my coworkers the importance of future-proofing what you publish.
Here we see a happy coffee sleeve touting Houston Methodist Hospitalʼs rank as the number 16 hospital in the nation. Except that it isnʼt.
Methodist is actually number 15. Sixteen was last year. But some middle manager thought it was a good idea to order fifty brazillion coffee sleeves flogging the #16 position, and now itʼs stuck under-bragging until they run out.
I understand that you understand
Friday, September 9th, 2022 Alive 18,763 days
Seattle, we have a problem
Friday, September 9th, 2022 Alive 18,763 days
A meaningless milestone
Friday, September 2nd, 2022 Alive 18,756 days
Netflix says today marks one year since I've had Netflix. Which is not true. I've had Netflix for 24 years. But Netflix doesn't have a way to put an account on hold when you go on vacation, or move. Instead, you have to cancel your account, then sign up again when you come back home or arrive in your new place.
Amazingly, and much to its credit, when you sign up again, your Netflix queue is restored, and you're right where you left off. So I guess it's only ½ a fail.
What did I just tell you?
Wednesday, August 31st, 2022 Alive 18,754 days
Every time I use Microsoft Windows, I manage to find another way it simply doesn't make sense to me.
In this example, I have instructed Microsoft Outlook to “Save All Attachments” from a particular e-mail message. Instead of saving all of the attachments, it pops up a modal window asking which attachments Iʼd like to save. Well, Iʼd like to save them all. Which is why I clicked on “Save All Attachments” and not “Save some, but I'm not sure which ones I might want, so why don't you stop me in the middle of my work instead of doing what I've instructed you to do.”
There would be no shame in Microsoft adding a “Save Some Attachments…” item to its already ample menu structure.
Atlantic City can't get a break
Friday, August 19th, 2022 Alive 18,742 days
Looking for a fine collection of photos depicting Mozambique, Italy, Japan, and the Middle East? Just search Adobe Stock for “Atlantic City, New Jersey.”
Does not inspire confidence
Thursday, August 18th, 2022 Alive 18,741 days
Coffee underachiever
Sunday, August 14th, 2022 Alive 18,737 days
The Costa Coffee machine at Whole Foods is broken. Again. I've been to this particular Whole Foods in Midtown Houston nine times. The coffee machine has only been online and functional once.
It's either bad timing for me, or a bad machine from Costa. Either way, it's bad news for Whole Foods.
Failsourcing
Sunday, August 14th, 2022 Alive 18,737 days
Crowdsourcing used to be all the rage in the tech industry. It was a way to get content for your project for free. Use your automation system to ask enough people for content, and some small percentage will happy oblige. The problem with crowdsourcing is quality control.
If you let anyone contribute anything, anyone will contribute anything. I once built a crowdsourced system for people to share photographs of landmarks. A significant percentage of the photos contributed were people standing in front of a camera holding up their resumes, presumably hoping that someone searching for a photo of the Berlin Wall might magically hire them to write code in India.
In the example above, we see the result of two levels of folly. Getty Images allows anyone to upload photographs to its system in order to sell those pictures to other people. That's the crowdsourcing. Then Apple outsourced photography for Apple Maps to a bunch of entities, including Wikipedia, TripAdvisor, and also Getty Images.
The result is a photo of a city in China among the photographs that are supposed to depict the West Texas city of Midland.
Never trust content you don't control.
Whoops right back at'cha
Friday, August 12th, 2022 Alive 18,735 days
Cleanup in aisle 500
Thursday, August 11th, 2022 Alive 18,734 days
Iʼve fallen, and I canʼt get up
Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days
Performing stability
Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days
I remain uncaffeinated
Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days
This sign at Midway Airport helpfully lists 18 coffee options in the gate area. I had a couple of hours to kill, so I went looking for a cup of joe. No luck.
More than half of the locations were closed, either temporarily or permanently. Most of the rest had lines 30 people deep. Probably because so many of the other restaurants were closed.
When I did finally find a place with a reasonably-sized line, they had no coffee. Didn't know they were supposed to have coffee. And were surprised to see their location listed on an official airport sign as having coffee.
Broken news
Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days
This LED pylon was a big deal when it debuted 20 years ago. Even though it only showed promos for WLS-TV news, it was considered a major work of public art, which is why it was allowed to take up space on a public sidewalk.
The last time I checked on it was in 2017. It was broken then. It was also broken today, when I checked on it again in 2022. I can only hope that I just have bad timing, and it hasn't been broken for five years. State Street is already a lot shabbier than when I lived a few blocks away.
Empty news
Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days
It was just a decade ago that newspapers were fighting for space in Chicagoʼs downtown newspaper racks. Now, nobody cares.
The racks were installed by the second Mayor Daley as part of his efforts to clean up downtown, where busy street corners would sometimes have ten, 15, or even 20 newspaper boxes all chained together, spilling out into the street and blocking both pedestrians and traffic.
The new street furniture brought order, but also controversy. Small and marginal publication accused the city of playing favorites. There was always room for a Tribune drawer, or a Sun-Times drawer, or a Crainʼs Chicago Business drawer; but neighborhood, non-English, classified advertising, and pornography publications couldn't always get in.
Lawsuits were threatened, but I donʼt know if they ever went anywhere. Perhaps simply because right around the same time, people en masse decided to get their news from the internet for free, instead of paying for dead trees. It didn't help that both of the big newspapers doubled their prices (or more) as the internet ate their revenue.
Today, about the only place to get a newspaper in downtown Chicago is in a drug store. And even then, you might have to go to two or three different stores to find one, since so few are printed. There's no need, since work-from-home has made a 2022 weekday lunchtime on LaSalle Street feel like the same location at 6am on a Sunday in 2012.
I do not want fries with that
Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days
Welcome to Chicago. Now go home.
Tuesday, August 9th, 2022 Alive 18,732 days
I know that Mayor Lightfoot put a lot of work into the retail experience at Chicagoʼs airports. One of her big successes was populating them almost exclusively with local restaurants. Great idea. But you can't highlight local businesses, if those businesses aren't open.
This photo was taken at on a Tuesday at 5:37pm. It does a pretty good job of illustrating the retail situation at Midway Airport. Even though this was prime time for travelers, very few of the shops were open.
First impressions count. And millions of people will have this as their first impression of Chicago when arriving at Midway.
Still more productive than an agile standup
Sunday, August 7th, 2022 Alive 18,730 days
Laissez les bons temps spamer
Friday, August 5th, 2022 Alive 18,728 days
This e-mail from the New Orleans Regional Transit Authority reads “You unsubscribed.” It also says “You will receive an email update when new information becomes available.”
So, am I unsubscribed, or am I going to receive e-mail updates?
Watching a storm >$brew.sh
Sunday, July 31st, 2022 Alive 18,723 days
The National Weather Service has a budget of $1.2 billion. If it canʼt keep a web site from drowning, what chance do I have?
Smells like a white linnen sheet flapping in the breeze atop a grassy hill
Saturday, July 30th, 2022 Alive 18,722 days
I lost my debit card a month ago. I found it today, wedged under one of the fins in the dryer. That means it not only went through the washing machine, it went through about 30 dryer cycles.
The card still works. The chip is fine, and the mag stripe works OK on newer machines.
Do that with your fancy device with Apple Pay, or whatever Google is calling its wallet this week, and you know what happens? You walk home.
I see people on the internet all the time claiming that plastic cards and cash are things of the past, and no longer needed. Thatʼs only true if you never go anywhere interesting, never eat anywhere unusual, and never do laundry.
Connection over sneakernet
Saturday, July 30th, 2022 Alive 18,722 days
Iʼm supposed to have super-duper awesome benefits with United Airlines because I have a Chase credit card. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to see what those benefits are. Naturally, the link on the Chase web site was broken. It just looped though a login screen over and over.
Since Iʼm a paying customer, I moaned about it to Chaseʼs customer service.
I ended up booking my ticket on another airline, and forgot all about it until I got this in the the mail today. I guess someone at Chase figured it would be faster to mail me a book about the benefits than to fix the link.
I guess this ends up being a story about good customer service, because not only do I have the book, but I just checked, and the link is fixed, too.
Can't get there from here
Friday, July 29th, 2022 Alive 18,721 days
Me: “Hey, Siri, stop the music.”
Siri: “Sorry, Wayne. I'm unable to stop.”
Really? It's only R.E.M. It's not like you can dance to it.
“Try to look like you're on skag”
Friday, July 29th, 2022 Alive 18,721 days
Have you ever noticed that if you search for “doctor patient vaccine” in Adobe Stock, 90% of the fake doctors injecting their fake patients are using the same technique that a junkie uses to mainline skag? Have these photographers never received any kind of vaccine ever in their lives?
The stack, she has overflowed
Friday, July 29th, 2022 Alive 18,721 days

Stackoverflow is broken. Silicon Valley grinds to a halt.
Speak directly into the horn
Saturday, July 23rd, 2022 Alive 18,715 days
Me (to the HomePod three feet in front of me): “Hey, Siri, is it going to rain today?”
A different HomePod (three rooms away): “-mumble- -mumble- -mumble- -something- -mumble-”
They should call it ToiletTime
Sunday, July 17th, 2022 Alive 18,709 days

Today, Siri informed me that I use my phone an average of 19 hours and 22 minutes per day. Either Siri is wrong, or I really need to eat more fiber.
Support hosed
Saturday, July 16th, 2022 Alive 18,708 days
United in failure
Saturday, July 16th, 2022 Alive 18,708 days
Food for thought
Friday, July 15th, 2022 Alive 18,707 days
It's not even Christmas yet
Wednesday, July 13th, 2022 Alive 18,705 days

Thanks, Amazon. Ooh! Paper towels!
Timeless
Friday, July 1st, 2022 Alive 18,693 days
A side of mystery
Friday, June 10th, 2022 Alive 18,672 days
Sick site
Friday, June 3rd, 2022 Alive 18,665 days
Well, add something!
Friday, May 27th, 2022 Alive 18,658 days
It seems that my choices are to:
- Add a credit or debit card
- Add a credit or debit card
- Add a personal checking account
- or add a personal checking account
Maybe Iʼll enter my personal financial information later, when Amazon.comʼs system is a little more stable.
Amateurs
Saturday, May 21st, 2022 Alive 18,652 days
If I had an Instagram account, I could tell the supposedly Texas-style Howdy Kolache company that saguaro cacti donʼt grow in Texas. They only grow in southwestern Arizona, hundreds of miles away.
Iʼd tell them myself, but like many hobby companies these days, the only way to make contact is via the one random social media app of their choice.
Try & fail
Thursday, May 19th, 2022 Alive 18,650 days
🎵Slow down🎵
Monday, May 16th, 2022 Alive 18,647 days
Part of the Amazon Music screen says “purchased.” Another part says I canʼt download the music I paid for.
Trying again in 15 minutes didnʼt change anything. Nor did trying again in 30 minutes, or 45. An hour after my purchase I got on the blower with Amazon customer service, and was told to wait 24 hours to download the music I paid for.
Thatʼs OK for me, because I'm patient. I was able to download the music when I tried a couple of days later. But isnʼt the whole point of Amazon Music that people are supposed to have immediate, unlimited access to their music?
Chicken shit
Saturday, May 14th, 2022 Alive 18,645 days
Today I learned that Chick-fil-a is not interested in serving the 50 million Americans, including the elderly, the poor, and some disabled people, who do not have or cannot use a mobile phone.
Also, anyone whoʼs phone has run out of battery, or anyone has dropped their phone, or pays for data, or is from another country.
Citibonk
Saturday, May 7th, 2022 Alive 18,638 days
Citibank is the third-largest bank in the United States. It has almost two trillion dollars. Itʼs been around for 210 years.
And yet, it still canʼt make a web site that works. So what chance do I have?
Also, with two trillion dollars, youʼd think it could hire people who can write complete sentences.
Citiborked
Saturday, May 7th, 2022 Alive 18,638 days
I think that the word “unexpected” is pretty high on the list of words you donʼt want to hear from your bank. It ranks right up there with “insolvent.”
Fortunately, Citibank is only the third-largest bank in America. Itʼs not like its web site is used for anything important.
If Citibank canʼt keep its web site from going all pear-shaped, what chance do I have?
Donʼt worry, theyʼll get their money
Friday, April 15th, 2022 Alive 18,616 days
Button pusher
Tuesday, April 12th, 2022 Alive 18,613 days
Package deal
Saturday, April 9th, 2022 Alive 18,610 days
Three packages for three different people dumped in a corner is actually not the worst Amazon.com delivery experience Iʼve seen lately.
At least these were inside a building, and not just dumped on a sidewalk outside a skyscraper in the middle of Americaʼs fourth-largest city.
I thought they were working from home
Friday, March 4th, 2022 Alive 18,574 days
Thereʼs a big backup at the floating bridge toll booth, so there are no Amazon.com employees available to take my order right now.
If Amazon.com canʼt keep its web site running, what chance do I have?
Nice unlabeled action button
Saturday, February 12th, 2022 Alive 18,554 days
The self-service ordering gizmo at Shake Shack canʼt cope with my hot dog order. Which I find a bit ironic, considering that Shake Shack started out as a hot dog stand.
This is what I get for using a computer to replace a personʼs job. Thereʼs a perfectly good human being ten feet away who can take my order if I wait 90 seconds, and my bag will never be out of sync.
Remember when technology was going to make our lives better?
Captured interest
Saturday, February 12th, 2022 Alive 18,554 days
After four phone calls, and a total of 74 minutes on hold with Bank of America, I was finally told that the people who can fix my problem donʼt work on Saturdays. But I can go to my local branch.
Except that all of the local branches are “temporarily closed.” So I canʼt even close my accounts in protest.
All the news that ℔Ωℹ︎ℌℑ℁℀… NO CARRIER
Wednesday, February 9th, 2022 Alive 18,551 days
One of my newspapers didnʼt come today. So I tried to let the Houston Chronicle know it has a problem. Naturally, since the conglomerate that ate Houstonʼs paper of record doesnʼt have customer service people on the weekend, I have to fill out a report online. And, naturally, the web site doesnʼt work.
Even if I had to wait on hold for a while to speak to someone about it, a human being could solve the problem immediately. Instead, I have to remember to call the newspaperʼs customer service people during the week to get credit for the missed delivery.
Remember when computers were going to make our lives better?
So expected
Thursday, January 6th, 2022 Alive 18,517 days
Things that sometimes donʼt work, or donʼt work as expected:
- Apple Music
- Spotify
- SiriusXM
- Amazon Music
- Pandora
Thing that always works exactly as expected: My wifeʼs vinyl record player.
Privacy doesnʼt grow on trees
Monday, December 20th, 2021 Alive 18,500 days
Today I learned that Edible Arrangements won't let you buy anything without using a credit card, and without being put into “the system.”
I just want to buy something, hand over some money, and walk away. Why is that so wrong? Why must I be signed up, tracked, tabulated, collated, and sold in order to buy fruit?
Took you long enough
Friday, December 17th, 2021 Alive 18,497 days
My actual thought process this afternoon: “I should stop by the drug store on the way home. Oh, wait, my phone isnʼt charged. I wish I had some cash with me.”
I now understand that I am a slave to technology.
Thinking is hard
Thursday, November 11th, 2021 Alive 18,461 days
A column in todayʼs newspaper suggests, “Try a plant-based sweetener like Stevia” instead of sugar.
So what exactly to millennials think sugar is made from? Rocks? Oil? The dried, ground up bones of boomers?
Do Not Localize
Monday, November 1st, 2021 Alive 18,451 days
So, can I ride for free?
Saturday, October 30th, 2021 Alive 18,449 days
Needs to perk up
Wednesday, October 20th, 2021 Alive 18,439 days
If you ever want to know what the inside of an automatic barista machine looks like, just head to Whole Foods in Midtown Houston. Thereʼs a good chance itʼs inner mechanism is open and available for you to examine.
Iʼm not sure how many times Iʼve been to this Whole Foods store — maybe a dozen times — and the coffee machine has never been working.
Every time I go, thereʼs a repairman busy tinkering with it. Which seems like quite a coincidence. Either Costa Coffee has an employee whose job is to repair this one machine full-time, or thereʼs something about me going to Whole Foods that causes the machine to kill itself.
Sour Apple
Monday, October 18th, 2021 Alive 18,437 days
A shot in the dark
Monday, September 27th, 2021 Alive 18,416 days
CVS #1 today: No, you canʼt have a COVID shot.
CVS #2 today: No, you canʼt have a COVID shot.
Walgreens: Here, have a COVID shot! And a coupon!
I donʼt think CVS understands the goals of the governmentʼs COVID vaccination program.
Dead tree edition
Monday, September 20th, 2021 Alive 18,409 days
Upper railing
Sunday, September 19th, 2021 Alive 18,408 days
Just… wow
Thursday, September 2nd, 2021 Alive 18,391 days
I think I have found the worst government web site on the planet: New Jersey Family Care.
Its many technical faults aside, it looks like something a kid whipped up in Geocities in the 1990ʼs, not something dealing with healthcare. And certainly not something that taxpayer dollars paid for.
Thirsty for vowels
Monday, August 16th, 2021 Alive 18,374 days
Stock poorly
Friday, August 13th, 2021 Alive 18,371 days
My apartment building has a Stockwell vending machine in the basement.
Unlike the vending machines of yore, this one is just an open cabinet with a camera that watches what you take off the shelves and uses magic A.I. fairies to send you a bill. That is, if it works. Which it doesnʼt.
I canʼt even get the Stockwell app to acknowledge that the Stockwell machine in my building exists.
I guess Iʼll spend my snack money at the convenience store across the street, instead. Where I can pay by cash, or credit card, or Apple Pay, or even food stamps if I had them. And if something goes wrong, there are intermittently friendly people to help me out, and not some Silicon Valley robot barking, “object has no attribute.”
Gettinʼ nothinʼ but static from Channel Z
Tuesday, August 10th, 2021 Alive 18,368 days
0xDEADBEEF
Thursday, August 5th, 2021 Alive 18,363 days
On, Dasher
Thursday, August 5th, 2021 Alive 18,363 days
No longer trying
Saturday, July 31st, 2021 Alive 18,358 days
Friday, July 30th, 2021 Alive 18,357 days
Errors all the way down
Tuesday, July 20th, 2021 Alive 18,347 days
This never happens at The Dime
Saturday, July 17th, 2021 Alive 18,344 days
Customer service is king
Sunday, July 11th, 2021 Alive 18,338 days
I have a road trip coming up this week, so Iʼm calling the hotelsʼ front desks to confirm my reservations.
- Holiday Inn: Answered immediately
- Best Western: Answered immediately
- Marriott: Transferred me three times, and left me on hold for 11 minutes so far
I think itʼs time to make a new reservation elsewhere.
i18n_comment_snarky
Monday, June 28th, 2021 Alive 18,325 days
Loaded question
Sunday, June 27th, 2021 Alive 18,324 days
♫ Weʼre the Bank of America… Whoa-oh! ♫
Monday, June 7th, 2021 Alive 18,304 days
So swipe the other way
Friday, June 4th, 2021 Alive 18,301 days
I swiped up to unlock, and instead the screen sort-of half swiped left. The lock icon, the unlock instructions, the wallpaper, and a dark overlay moved left, revealing another copy of the wallpaper underneath. Meanwhile, the time, the music panel, and the quick keys stayed put.
Fortunately, all was solved ten seconds later when the phone shit itself and rebooted.
Piston Positn
Friday, June 4th, 2021 Alive 18,301 days
I got a new Atari cartridge today. Itʼs Pole Position.
Iʼm not big on racing games, though I enjoy watching other people play them. My problem is that Iʼm not very good at racing games. The one racing game I actually like and am also good at is Ridge Racers for the PSP.
This Pole Position cart wasnʼt a deliberate purchase. It came in a box with a knot of other games, but Iʼll keep it for two reasons.
First, because I do have some nostalgic memories of playing Pole Position when I was a kid. I wasnʼt any good at it back then, either. To me, a joystick was entirely the wrong control method for this game, especially considering that every Atari console shipped with perfectly fine paddle controllers, and many people also had the racing version of Atariʼs paddles left over from other games.
The second reason Iʼll keep it is because the end label is wrong. It reads “POLE POSITN*.”
Label errors werenʼt uncommon on Atari games, and got more and more common as the years went on and the company moved from sprinting to walking to hobbling with a cane to shuffling with a walker to its inevitable dirt nap. But this is a pretty glaring error, and I do enjoy knowing that other people make mistakes, too, so Iʼll put this one in a protective sack to keep it fresh.
Any second now
Tuesday, May 25th, 2021 Alive 18,291 days
Too bad CentOS is dead
Tuesday, May 25th, 2021 Alive 18,291 days
Was it marked “Fragile?”
Saturday, May 22nd, 2021 Alive 18,288 days
Records still work fine
Wednesday, May 19th, 2021 Alive 18,285 days
Itʼs half way to cheese
Wednesday, May 19th, 2021 Alive 18,285 days
Tuesday, May 18th, 2021 Alive 18,284 days
I used to blame myself and feel bad for not checking the expiration dates more closely when Iʼd end up with expired food from Safeway.
Now Iʼm just mad that Safeway willingly and repeatedly sells me expired food.
Good for me, not for thee
Friday, May 14th, 2021 Alive 18,280 days
Heʼs right
Thursday, May 13th, 2021 Alive 18,279 days
More like “10/5”
Sunday, May 2nd, 2021 Alive 18,268 days
Halmark is a spammer
Friday, April 30th, 2021 Alive 18,266 days
Hallmark took my e-mail address “for [my] receipt.” I even took a screenshot just in case it lied. Which it did.
I now get spam from Hallmark at the unique e-mail address I set up for this Hallmark order.
Hallmark cannot be trusted.
No one left to trust
Thursday, April 29th, 2021 Alive 18,265 days
Priorities
Wednesday, April 28th, 2021 Alive 18,264 days
Siri still shits herself if you ask to change the volume and you have more than one HomePod.
But thank God the latest iOS update has 30 new bearded lady emojis. Carnival sideshows everywhere are weeping with joy.
He is from Delaware
Saturday, April 24th, 2021 Alive 18,260 days
Me: “Hey, #Siri, put Hamburger Helper on my groceries list.”
Siri: “Who is speaking?”
Me: “Joe Biden.”
Siri: “OK, Iʼve added it to your groceries list.”
I sure hope the president likes Hamburger Helper.
Negative experience
Thursday, April 22nd, 2021 Alive 18,258 days
Iʼm getting tired of all the lazy developers talking about how great Electron is.
I guess they donʼt have to use Microsoftʼs Azure Storage Explorer, which crashes on a weekly basis, taking down the entire machine and all of their work because itʼs built in Electron, and is not a real program.
Sunday, April 18th, 2021 Alive 18,254 days
What did you do now?
Monday, April 5th, 2021 Alive 18,241 days
Theyʼre right here at 127.0.0.1
Monday, March 22nd, 2021 Alive 18,227 days
72 minutes into the future
Monday, March 15th, 2021 Alive 18,220 days
So stop shopping at Walmart
Friday, March 12th, 2021 Alive 18,217 days
In spite of all their fancy JavaScript, and invasive telemetry, I donʼt think online stores really have any idea how much money they lose every day by making their shopping process so complicated that the web site breaks.
Simplifying the stack would save development costs, management costs, and increase sales.
But nobody in tech gets promoted for making things less complicated.
Pixels arenʼt free
Thursday, March 11th, 2021 Alive 18,216 days
Greed kills
Sunday, February 28th, 2021 Alive 18,205 days
Why is this acceptable?
Sunday, February 14th, 2021 Alive 18,191 days
A piece of expensive high-tech equipment didnʼt work right in 2021? Shocking!
The error message makes no sense? Thatʼs impossible!
Oh well, Iʼll just look up error number -6753 in the imaginary manual that didnʼt come with the HomePod, and also doesnʼt exist online, or anywhere else.
127 characters ought be enough for anyone
Friday, February 12th, 2021 Alive 18,189 days
Somewhere, a Walmart web developer and his database manager are learning about UTF-8 and utfmb8.
Saturday, February 6th, 2021 Alive 18,183 days
Me: “Hey, Siri, turn on the foyer lamp.”
Siri: “Playing all songs.”
A ton of Newtons
Friday, January 29th, 2021 Alive 18,175 days
This is what happens when your mapping database doesnʼt have coordinates for a town. It puts the town in Kansas.
In this case, the New York Times map jammed Newton, New Jersey in the middle of Kansas. It probably thinks other towns are there, too.
Never trust any data. Always check for NULL and improbable values.
Wednesday, January 27th, 2021 Alive 18,173 days
Today I learned that Appleʼs HomePod canʼt play the music you own, stored on your own Mac, in your own home, even with so-called “Home Sharing” enabled.
After 10 years of “Rip, Mix, Burn” can you imagine someone telling Steve Jobs, “We have this new music gadget, but you canʼt play any of the music you own on it.” Only rental music.
Someone would be fired before he even finished that sentence.
Wednesday, January 27th, 2021 Alive 18,173 days
Me: “Hey, Siri, turn it down.”
HomePod: “Sorry. There as a problem adjusting volume.”
This is what we used to call “Not ready for Prime Time.”
Gnarley
Wednesday, January 27th, 2021 Alive 18,173 days
Busted bars
Thursday, January 21st, 2021 Alive 18,167 days
Sure wish I could order Dairy Queen through DoorDash, like the web site says I can.
But DoorDashʼs web site insists that I pick a size for a box of Buster Bars, which only come in one size.
I wonder how many other sales Dairy Queen has lost because of DoorDash.
Broken apple
Saturday, January 16th, 2021 Alive 18,162 days
It all makes sense now
Sunday, January 3rd, 2021 Alive 18,149 days
Sunday, January 3rd, 2021 Alive 18,149 days
Growth opportunity
Sunday, December 20th, 2020 Alive 18,135 days
Dear MiracleGro,
If you wonder why your ad in the New York Times didnʼt result in many sales, itʼs probably because people were put off by the three pop-ups you forced on them when they scanned your QR code.
You must not need customers.
Saturday, December 19th, 2020 Alive 18,134 days
Saturday, December 5th, 2020 Alive 18,120 days
It is The Onion
Monday, November 30th, 2020 Alive 18,115 days
Blue mold
Thursday, November 26th, 2020 Alive 18,111 days
Oh, nuts
Thursday, November 26th, 2020 Alive 18,111 days
Well, it was made by monkeys
Wednesday, November 25th, 2020 Alive 18,110 days
Sunday, November 15th, 2020 Alive 18,100 days
Monday, November 9th, 2020 Alive 18,094 days
Sunday, November 8th, 2020 Alive 18,093 days
Thursday, November 5th, 2020 Alive 18,090 days
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2020 Alive 18,088 days
The cable is out. Itʼs not like thereʼs a presidential election going on and I might want to watch CNN or anything.
Good thing I also have an over-the-air antenna. CBS News, here I come.
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2020 Alive 18,088 days
Monday, November 2nd, 2020 Alive 18,087 days
I know you are, but what am I?
Friday, October 2nd, 2020 Alive 18,056 days
Me: “Hey, Siri put ‘Cut lawn’ on my ‘Outside’ list.”
Siri: “You donʼt have an ‘Outside’ list. Do you want me to create one?”
Me: “Yes.”
Siri: “You donʼt have an ‘Outside’ list. Do you want me to create one?”
Me: “Yes.”
Siri: “You donʼt have an ‘Outside’ list. Do you want me to create one?”
Me: “Yes.”
Iʼm tired of tech bullshit that never works. Iʼm going back to lists on paper. It Just Works™
Teeth-grating
Friday, October 2nd, 2020 Alive 18,056 days
Me: “Hey, Siri, put ‘toothpaste’ on my ‘Shopping’ list.”
Siri: “Youʼll have to unlock your iPhone first.”
If I was near my iPhone, Iʼd just put toothpaste on the list myself.
But Tim Cooks needs a third boat
Sunday, September 13th, 2020 Alive 18,037 days
OK, Pal
Wednesday, August 12th, 2020 Alive 18,005 days
A small request
Sunday, June 28th, 2020 Alive 17,960 days
Why do so many Apple programs use five-pixel-tall fonts? Who thinks these are a good idea? Even back in Commodore 64 days, we knew that nobody could read a five pixel font.
You donʼt have to be visually impaired, elderly, or even drunk for these to be completely unreadable on a computer screen.
For all the puffery that comes out of Apple about accessibility and inclusiveness, this has to stop.
Information overload
Thursday, June 18th, 2020 Alive 17,950 days
Wording be hard
Saturday, June 6th, 2020 Alive 17,938 days
Fails to deliver
Wednesday, May 27th, 2020 Alive 17,928 days
Your slip is showing
Thursday, May 14th, 2020 Alive 17,915 days
Monday, April 20th, 2020 Alive 17,891 days
Sending a message
Monday, February 24th, 2020 Alive 17,835 days
Thursday, February 20th, 2020 Alive 17,831 days
Lowered genius bar
Tuesday, January 14th, 2020 Alive 17,794 days
I happened to be in an Apple Store when an iPhone training session was going on.
The “Genius” told his audience that 1080p means “A thousand pixels per square inch,” and that 4K means “four times as many!”
Ummm… no.
Should have listened to the Fiat GPS
Monday, October 21st, 2019 Alive 17,709 days
Neither
Sunday, September 15th, 2019 Alive 17,673 days
Saturday, September 14th, 2019 Alive 17,672 days
Sunday, September 1st, 2019 Alive 17,659 days
It turns out that Tide Dry Cleaners canʼt handle the Apple Card via Apple Pay.
The card terminal says “Approved,” but the POS system rejects it immediately after.
The physical card works OK. And other cards work fine via Apple Pay. Itʼs just the Apple Card that is giving it fits.
It can taste titanium?
Sunday, August 25th, 2019 Alive 17,652 days
Today I learned that Albertsons supermarkets wonʼt accept the Apple Card via Apple Pay.
Using other cards via Apple Pay works fine, but Albertsonsʼ POS system throws an error with the Apple Card. “This type of card is not accepted.”
Is cash legible?
Saturday, August 24th, 2019 Alive 17,651 days
Wednesday, August 21st, 2019 Alive 17,648 days
I was fooled
Sunday, July 21st, 2019 Alive 17,617 days
Thatʼs why the chairs suck now
Sunday, June 16th, 2019 Alive 17,582 days
Remember when Starbucks used to pride itself on its carefully curated selection of music?
Now itʼs like playing crap is its latest way to keep people from relaxing in-store, and to just hand over their money at the drive through.
Friday, June 14th, 2019 Alive 17,580 days
Sunday, February 24th, 2019 Alive 17,470 days

When I load photos of Valley of Fire into programs like Lightroom, they automatically crank the color down 15 notches because the programmers at Adobe in Seattle canʼt conceive of a place that isnʼt as humid and grey as where they live.
Monday, February 18th, 2019 Alive 17,464 days
For just a dollar a day…
Friday, February 15th, 2019 Alive 17,461 days
A stand-up gal
Wednesday, February 13th, 2019 Alive 17,459 days
Tuesday, February 5th, 2019 Alive 17,451 days
Yes, reusing plastic shopping bags is one way to save on airline baggage fees when visiting Las Vegas.
But in case your oversized TJMaxx carrier blows out a block from your hotel, disgorging all of your worldly possessions onto sidewalk, you might want to have a Plan B.
Off Target
Saturday, February 2nd, 2019 Alive 17,448 days
I mostly stopped shopping at Target a while ago because it hardly ever has anything in stock.
I tried again today. No change.
It canʼt even stock the most basic of basics: eggs, sugar, flour, and cooking oil.
Tuesday, January 8th, 2019 Alive 17,423 days
Sunday, January 6th, 2019 Alive 17,421 days
Saturday, January 5th, 2019 Alive 17,420 days
Friday, December 21st, 2018 Alive 17,405 days
Tuesday, December 11th, 2018 Alive 17,395 days
Ever have one of those days when you think, “Wow, my web sites are really fast today!” and then you realize you spent the last hour tinkering on localhost?
Saturday, December 8th, 2018 Alive 17,392 days
Saturday, December 8th, 2018 Alive 17,392 days
Saturday, December 8th, 2018 Alive 17,392 days
I got a letter in the mail from my bank stating that it wants me to stop by so it can take my voice print to be used for accessing my safe deposit box.
My safe deposit box is 2,300 miles away, so good luck with that.
Friday, December 7th, 2018 Alive 17,391 days
Saturday, November 24th, 2018 Alive 17,378 days
Remember when we could balance our finances without a computer?
You know — before technology made everything "easier?"
Friday, November 23rd, 2018 Alive 17,377 days
Wednesday, November 21st, 2018 Alive 17,375 days
Sunday, November 18th, 2018 Alive 17,372 days
Saturday, November 10th, 2018 Alive 17,364 days
Saturday, November 10th, 2018 Alive 17,364 days
Wednesday, October 17th, 2018 Alive 17,340 days
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2018 Alive 17,326 days
♫ Theyʼre coming to tow you away, ha ha! ♫
Monday, October 1st, 2018 Alive 17,324 days
Monday, September 24th, 2018 Alive 17,317 days
Thursday, September 20th, 2018 Alive 17,313 days
My carʼs warranty expired September 4.
Itʼs now September 20, and the car needs $600 worth of repairs that would have been covered.
Yet another reason Iʼll never buy another Fiat.
Wednesday, September 12th, 2018 Alive 17,305 days
Friday, September 7th, 2018 Alive 17,300 days
Friday, September 7th, 2018 Alive 17,300 days
Saturday, August 25th, 2018 Alive 17,287 days
Sunday, August 12th, 2018 Alive 17,274 days
My Facebook feed this morning:
- An important service alert from a transit agency in some other city.
- An obviously fake friend request from someone who thinks a Sharpie is an eyebrow pencil.
- A promoted post from some company Iʼve never heard of pushing something I donʼt care about.
- “People You May Know” who are all people I donʼt know.
- Someone elseʼs memory of an event 5 years ago I wasnʼt at and donʼt care about.
- A post from a “neighborhood” group on the other side of town.
- A “Suggested Post” about something I donʼt care about.
- A post in a language that I donʼt speak, but thatʼs OK because I do follow the Yomiuri Giants.
- A post from the state parks people about a state park 400 miles away.
- An image caption repost of a repost of a repost of a repost from someone who thinks that lifeʼs problems can be solved by re-posting other peopleʼs refrigerator magnet thoughts.
- An ad for a coffee chain in another city with no locations within 700 miles.
- A “Breaking News” weather alert about a dust storm last week.
- A news item that a local TV station posted three months ago.
- A photograph of someone I donʼt know who is friends with someone who is friends with someone who might know this person
- A photo from an actual Facebook friend, but itʼs of his tween daughter in a leotard. Ummm…
- An ad for a coffee chain in another country.
- One of those “URGENT! URGENT!1!11!! Please help us find out dog!” re-posts from someone 2,500 miles away.
- A re-post of a image caption thatʼs been around since the 1990ʼs.
Good job, Facebook. Glad to see the $70 billion spent on “user engagement AI” is working out for you.