
If the library is holding “Mob Month,” you might live in Las Vegas. Or New York. Or Chicago. Or Pittsburgh. Oh, never mind.
Remember when we could balance our finances without a computer?
You know — before technology made everything "easier?"
Yaʼatʼéeh Késhmish Yazhiʼ!
Thatʼs Navajo for “Happy Thanksgiving.”
The Navajo have a phrase for Happy Thanksgiving because, as I learned on the rez, real indians do celebrate Thanksgiving, complete with paper turkey decorations, because they know itʼs a celebration of community and giving thanks for the things we have, and actually has nothing to do with Pilgrim oppression, and all that is a fairy tale from white east coast college professors who need to see conflict in everything order to keep the grant money coming.
If the Navajo can celebrate Thanksgiving, so can you.
I think this is the cat equivalent of a dog drinking all of the water from a Christmas tree stand.
Does anyone know of a good way to control feline flatulence?
Asking for Mr. Fuzzynuts over there.
Itʼs open enrollment season again, so I went to a benefits seminar at work. Thatʼs where I learned that we have a party monkey benefit.
You have to actually pay for the monkey, but one of our employee benefits is a service that delivers rental monkeys. It's part of the stress reduction package.
Darcie is going to have the best birthday ever.
If youʼre fleeing from the police, donʼt try to hide under the bush in front of my office window. Because when the cops catch up to you and you try to run, your purse will get snagged on the branches, and no amount of texting will keep you from being frogmarched down to the curb in handcuffs.
Woo hoo! Clark County is the last county in the entire nation to start counting votes.
We put the “bent” in incumbent!
Meanwhile, in Nevada… a dead brothel owner whom the newspapers say police suspect was poisoned by 1990ʼs “Hollywood Madam” Heidi Fleiss after going for a midnight drive with diminutive porn star Ron Jeremy following his 72nd birthday party with a bunch of hookers has won the 36th District.
Did I mention thatʼs heʼs also dead?
Iʼm glad the election is over. Now we can stop seeing those terrible political ads and watch the even worse lawyer ads instead.
Schools are closed tomorrow. For Election Day. Why?
Because Clark County needs to use the schools as polling places.
So kids who canʼt even vote get Election Day off.
For some reason I broke out Darcieʼs original 2007 iPhone. Works fine, except web browsing is a mess. So much smaller, thicker, and heavier than a current phone, but it just feels good to hold. Nice and solid. And it has places to grip it that arenʼt the screen.
Iʼm not a big fan of all-glass phones.
One of the neighbor kids is learning to play the trumpet. Heʼs terrible, and everyone knows it because he likes to practice outside. It freaks out the cats.
The good news is that heʼs now getting lessons.
The bad news is that now it sounds like there are two people are trying to murder Chuck Mangione in my backyard.