Blathr Wayne Lorentz

This is what it looks like when kids on the Big Rez have to do school-from-home.

Todayʼs coffee is Jacked ʼOʼ Lantern. Another Halloween-themed coffee from Bones Coffee in Cape Coral, Florida.

The flavor is labeled “Pumpkin spice,” and for once, it's delivers. With no syrups or additions, it provides strong pumpkin spice smell before and after grinding, as well as strong pumpkin spice taste after brewing. Definitely would buy again.

I should be mad at California sending us all its wildfire smoke. But it does add a nice campfire smell to the day.

Today’s coffee is Frankenbones from Bones Coffee in Florida.

From the label, one would assume that this is some kind of mint-flavored coffee. Don’t let all that green in the label fool you. We’re back to chocolate and filberts again.

It’s OK. The flavors are a little muted, but at least the coffee, itself, is low-acid. I’m a big flavored coffee guy, so it’s a little underpowered for me. But then I like my coffee the way I like my women: tall and fruity. If you’re someone who likes an occasional dash of flavor, or if you’re used to Dunkin’ Donuts, this might be a good choice.

It does bring an interesting thought to mind: Why do we associate the color green with Frankenstein’s monster? The film was in black-and-white. The movie posters of the era were either black-and-white, or he was tinted yellow or red. It wasn’t until the re-release in the 1950’s that he took on a greenish tint, and that was pretty subtle. I suspect there’s something about decay that we automatically associate with the color green, though in my memory, I can’t think of anything I’ve ever seen that was both rotting and green. Maybe lettuce.

The line to vote at 10am. There were twice as many people when we walked by a half hour later.

My doctor says that if you have to eat chocolate, dark chocolate covered espresso beans is the way to go. The espresso helps you burn the calories, and the dark chocolate and space taken up by the beans cuts down on the sugar.

If you canʼt trust a Las Vegas doctor, who can you trust?

If arming dinosaurs with massive hypodermic needles makes getting a flu shot less scary for kids, then I guess I donʼt understand kids.

This is why being a weatherman in Las Vegas is the easiest job in broadcasting.

I always feel bad for Harley-Davidson owners. Their motorcycles are always so loud, since they canʼt afford to get them fixed. I wonder what it is about being poor that draws you to one particular brand.

Today’s coffee is Adobe Morning from Piñon Coffee.

It’s supposed to be a little like cinnamon and filberts. I call hazelnuts filberts, because as Darcie will tell you, I grew up in 1940.

I don’t really taste either flavor in the coffee. There’s something there, but I’m not sure what it is. And I’m not sure how either cinnamon or filberts are supposed to relate to waking up in an adobe, since the nuts are from the British isles, and cinnamon is from southeast Asia. But it’s a nice mental picture.

I wonder if it’s easier to track down the source of food poisoning these days since so many people are constantly taking pictures of their meals.

Each day for the last month, Iʼve included a piece of Halloween candy when I pack Darcieʼs lunch. And each day I notice that the Whoppers always seem to come back unopened.

I think she hasnʼt really given Whoppers a chance. So I made her an all-Whoppers lunch today.

Today’s coffee is Maple Bacon from Bones Coffee in Fort Meyers. For a gimmick roaster, this isn’t too bad. The beans don’t smell like maple or bacon. The ground coffee doesn’t smell like maple or bacon. But the brewed coffee definitely tastes like maple and bacon. Which is good, since I like my coffee the way I like my women: bold and salty.

When I want to get things off my chest, I bang the words into an old TRS-80 I keep in the closet. I do it in story form.

I’ve found that writing stories is a good way to expend excess mental energy. I’ve written hundreds of stories on that machine. Every month or so, after they’re perfected, I pull out the batteries and the stories disappear forever.

It’s like in the old days when people would write their confessions in letters and throw them in the fireplace, or deliberately mail them to undeliverable addresses.

You used to be able to buy bundles of these letters from the Post Office’s sorting facility’s Dead Letter Office. I don’t think you can anymore. Now they’re probably auctioned off in palettes with other undeliverable to big companies that throw away the letters and sell the wayward packages on Amazon.

Tonight I watched Jeopardy on TV. The following things are true:

• I watched with the cat sitting next to me on the couch. That means I’m old.
• I watched while sewing. That means I’m old.
• I watched the entire episode. That means I’m old.
• I only got six of 61 questions wrong. That means I’m old.
• I watched Jeopardy. That means I’m old.

Me: “Hey, Siri put ‘Cut lawn’ on my ‘Outside’ list.”

Siri: “You donʼt have an ‘Outside’ list. Do you want me to create one?”

Me: “Yes.”

Siri: “You donʼt have an ‘Outside’ list. Do you want me to create one?”

Me: “Yes.”

Siri: “You donʼt have an ‘Outside’ list. Do you want me to create one?”

Me: “Yes.”

Iʼm tired of tech bullshit that never works. Iʼm going back to lists on paper. It Just Works™

Me: “Hey, Siri, put ‘toothpaste’ on my ‘Shopping’ list.”

Siri: “Youʼll have to unlock your iPhone first.”

If I was near my iPhone, Iʼd just put toothpaste on the list myself.