Blathr Wayne Lorentz

I shall work here today. But first, lunch.

The phrase “Itʼs five oʼclock somewhere!” is very useful for convincing oneself to consume alcohol. Itʼs less useful for convincing your boss to let you go home early.

I shall work here today. And also redact my screen.

The companyʼs InfoSec^† team insists that itʼs super important that I update my computerʼs operating system as soon as possible.

So, I guess this is what Iʼm doing at work for the next few hours.

† “Information Security”

One of the buildings near me that has a WeWork co-working space in it proudly bears the companyʼs slogan on the front door: “Do what you love.”

I wonder if that sort of thinking is the reason the world is filled with puppy sitters, yoga instructors, and food trucks; but has a shortage of doctors, garbage men, and homeless advocates.

Guys, I gotta go. The cat just barfed on my computer plug.

The magic of work-from-home.

I shall work here today.

One of the bugs in my code has escaped, and is crawling up the wall.

Itʼs open enrollment season again, so I went to a benefits seminar at work. Thatʼs where I learned that we have a party monkey benefit.

You have to actually pay for the monkey, but one of our employee benefits is a service that delivers rental monkeys. It's part of the stress reduction package.

Darcie is going to have the best birthday ever.

If youʼre fleeing from the police, donʼt try to hide under the bush in front of my office window. Because when the cops catch up to you and you try to run, your purse will get snagged on the branches, and no amount of texting will keep you from being frogmarched down to the curb in handcuffs.

Christmas in the cubicle.

Does it count as being “late” for work if the door to the building is blocked by cops frisking a lady?

Sometimes I feel bad for the people who have to work with me.

Well, I guess Iʼm officially a big time TV producer. No more small markets. No more medium markets. No more large markets. Iʼm officially in a major market and a verifiable employee of Tribune Broadcasting. The official certification came this morning when I arrived at my desk and found a box of business cards with my name and the WGN-TV logo. Aside from an employment contract, it doesnʼt get more official than that.

This is important to me in two ways:

1. I didnʼt have to beg and plead and cajole and worry about how the expense of a box of business cards might wreck the stationʼs finances.
2. It just automatically happened. People in Chicago seem to have an interest in getting things done, rather than inventing excuses for why things canʼt be done.

It wasnʼt that many years ago when I had to go all the way up to the president of the West Virginia Radio Corporation to get permission to have business cards so I could do my job as a reporter. He said it was perfectly fine, and to order them that day. So I did. A week later, they were ready. A week after that I was confronted by the station manager freaking out about the $34 bill for my business cards.

I donʼt know what WGN-TV business cards cost, but I doubt anyone in this building cares.