BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Whole Foods.”

Coffee underachiever

Sunday, August 14th, 2022 Alive 18,737 days

A repair guy working on the super-duper high-tech coffee robot machine. Which is almost always broken.

The Costa Coffee machine at Whole Foods is broken. Again. I've been to this particular Whole Foods in Midtown Houston nine times. The coffee machine has only been online and functional once.

It's either bad timing for me, or a bad machine from Costa. Either way, it's bad news for Whole Foods.

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Needs to perk up

Wednesday, October 20th, 2021 Alive 18,439 days

The Costa Coffee machine at Whole Foods being repaired again

If you ever want to know what the inside of an automatic barista machine looks like, just head to Whole Foods in Midtown Houston. Thereʼs a good chance itʼs inner mechanism is open and available for you to examine.

Iʼm not sure how many times Iʼve been to this Whole Foods store — maybe a dozen times — and the coffee machine has never been working.

Every time I go, thereʼs a repairman busy tinkering with it. Which seems like quite a coincidence. Either Costa Coffee has an employee whose job is to repair this one machine full-time, or thereʼs something about me going to Whole Foods that causes the machine to kill itself.

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Youʼve been kicked out of better places

Friday, June 4th, 2021 Alive 18,301 days

Wanna start a fist fight in Whole Foods?

When Rando McFreedumb asks you why youʼre still wearing a mask, look him in the eye and say, “Because Iʼm better than you.”

I donʼt think Iʼm welcome back at that Whole Foods.

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Whole fools

Monday, March 22nd, 2021 Alive 18,227 days

Dear Whole Foods,

450 Americans died of COVID-19 yesterday. Why has my local store stopped requiring people to wear masks?

Itʼs still the law here. Everything is not better. People are still getting sick and dying. What I saw today is not OK.

Please comply with the law.

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Thursday, November 5th, 2020 Alive 18,090 days

A Whole Foods error message

If canʼt keep Whole Foods running, what chance do I have?

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Sunday, August 26th, 2018 Alive 17,288 days

Irony: The lady at Whole Foods pontificating about the horrors of genetically modified food, while holding a chorkie.

At least the dog knows it wonʼt get eaten.

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