BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Webdev.”

Whatʼs a DVD?

Tuesday, November 15th, 2022 Alive 18,830 days

An error message on the Netflix web site

Netflix is one of the largest media companies on the planet. If it canʼt keep its web site from eating itself, what chance do I have?

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Fluff and fold

Sunday, November 6th, 2022 Alive 18,821 days

The header from the Potter Country Storeʼs web site

While I appreciate the Potter Country Store being creative with its web site, I donʼt think a laundry basket is quite the right icon for a virtual shopping cart.

Unless they use laundry baskets to do their shopping in Schulenburg, Texas. You never know. People in Pennsylvania call shopping carts “buggies.”

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Try a Clié

Thursday, October 27th, 2022 Alive 18,811 days

The University of Houston/Downtown web site

I know that Iʼm not perfect. I know that while I think my web sites work on every device, thereʼs probably a configuration out there on which they fall over. But the University of Houston/Downtown really has no excuse for this.

How is it possible for an organization to put out a public web site in 2022 that doesnʼt work on mobile phones? Itʼs bad enough that this page from UH/D is cut off on the right side, but there is no way to even scroll to the right to see whatʼs missing! And this is on a recent iPhone, not some obscure open source homebrew kit.

I preview every single web page I build for desktop, tablet, and two mobile phones. Every one. Sometimes dozens each week.

The University of Houston/Downtown brags that itʼs the second-largest university in Americaʼs fourth-largest city. Surely, someone on campus must have a smart phone to test with.

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Break a leg!

Friday, September 30th, 2022 Alive 18,784 days

An error message from Houston Methodist Hospital's Epic system

Houston Methodist Hospital has eighty-brazillion dollars and ninty-brazillion employees. If it canʼt keep its webview from breaking a leg, what am I supposed to do?

Also, someone should fix that grammar. It's probably Epicʼs default, but that doesnʼt make it right.

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Kern this

Saturday, September 24th, 2022 Alive 18,778 days

Ordinary human being: “What's the longest day of the year?”

Webdev: “In which font?”

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Seattle, we have a problem

Friday, September 9th, 2022 Alive 18,763 days

An Amazon.com error message

With half a trillion dollars to work with, this still happens to Amazon.com. So, what chance do I have?

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Cleanup in aisle 500

Thursday, August 11th, 2022 Alive 18,734 days

An H.E.B. error message

H.E.B. has over 100,000 employees. Someone should get out and push.

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Iʼve fallen, and I canʼt get up

Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days

H.E.B. JSON payload

I sure hope Iʼve never broken a web site so badly that it starts squirting JSON all over the intarwebs.

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Watching a storm >$brew.sh

Sunday, July 31st, 2022 Alive 18,723 days

An error message from the National Weather Serviceʼs web site

The National Weather Service has a budget of $1.2 billion. If it canʼt keep a web site from drowning, what chance do I have?

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Connection over sneakernet

Saturday, July 30th, 2022 Alive 18,722 days

The Chase United Guide to benefits

Iʼm supposed to have super-duper awesome benefits with United Airlines because I have a Chase credit card. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to see what those benefits are. Naturally, the link on the Chase web site was broken. It just looped though a login screen over and over.

Since Iʼm a paying customer, I moaned about it to Chaseʼs customer service.

I ended up booking my ticket on another airline, and forgot all about it until I got this in the the mail today. I guess someone at Chase figured it would be faster to mail me a book about the benefits than to fix the link.

I guess this ends up being a story about good customer service, because not only do I have the book, but I just checked, and the link is fixed, too.

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United in failure

Saturday, July 16th, 2022 Alive 18,708 days

United Airlines not working

I sure wish I could book a flight on United Airlines. But for three days in two different browsers on two different computers, all I get when I search is this screen, which never changes.

Maybe American Airlines wants my money.

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Support hosed

Saturday, July 16th, 2022 Alive 18,708 days

Citibank telling me to get stuffed

Today I learned from tech support at Citibank that Safari is not supported for “security reasons.” She recommended that I use the vastly less-secure Google Chrome browser, instead.

Good job, Citibank.

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Food for thought

Friday, July 15th, 2022 Alive 18,707 days

An H.E.B. error message

HEB made $31,000,000,000 last year. If it can't make a web site work, what chance do I have?

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A side of mystery

Friday, June 10th, 2022 Alive 18,672 days

Bad formatting on the Dominoʼs web site

Dominoʼs Pizza made four billion dollars in 2020. It should have enough people working on its web site to make sure the CAPTCHA doesn't overflow its container.

It also shouldnʼt use Google's reCAPTCHA service, but thatʼs a different bucket of plastic monkeys.

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Sick site

Friday, June 3rd, 2022 Alive 18,665 days

An error message from Houston Methodist Hospital

This is what happens when you try to let Houston Methodist know about an error on its web site.

Thatʼs one way to reduce customer service costs by 100%.

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Try &​amp​; fail

Thursday, May 19th, 2022 Alive 18,650 days

Bad entity encoding on the H.E.B. web site

H.E.B. makes web developers sad.

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Chicken shit

Saturday, May 14th, 2022 Alive 18,645 days

Chick-fil-a refusing to take my order

Today I learned that Chick-fil-a is not interested in serving the 50 million Americans, including the elderly, the poor, and some disabled people, who do not have or cannot use a mobile phone.

Also, anyone whoʼs phone has run out of battery, or anyone has dropped their phone, or pays for data, or is from another country.

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Citiborked

Saturday, May 7th, 2022 Alive 18,638 days

A citi.com error message

I think that the word “unexpected” is pretty high on the list of words you donʼt want to hear from your bank. It ranks right up there with “insolvent.”

Fortunately, Citibank is only the third-largest bank in America. Itʼs not like its web site is used for anything important.

If Citibank canʼt keep its web site from going all pear-shaped, what chance do I have?

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Citibonk

Saturday, May 7th, 2022 Alive 18,638 days

A citi.com error message

Citibank is the third-largest bank in the United States. It has almost two trillion dollars. Itʼs been around for 210 years.

And yet, it still canʼt make a web site that works. So what chance do I have?

Also, with two trillion dollars, youʼd think it could hire people who can write complete sentences.

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I thought they were working from home

Friday, March 4th, 2022 Alive 18,574 days

Amazon.com telling me itʼs too busy to take my money

Thereʼs a big backup at the floating bridge toll booth, so there are no Amazon.com employees available to take my order right now.

If Amazon.com canʼt keep its web site running, what chance do I have?

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Sour Apple

Monday, October 18th, 2021 Alive 18,437 days

An error message from Apple

If the single largest technology company on the planet canʼt keep its web site from upchucking, what chance do I have?

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Dead tree edition

Monday, September 20th, 2021 Alive 18,409 days

An error message from The New York Times

If the largest newspaper in America canʼt keep its web site running, what chance do I have?

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Upper railing

Sunday, September 19th, 2021 Alive 18,408 days

An error message from The New York Times

The New York Times has “lost” this web page. I guess thatʼs not surprising, since it also lost my newspaper today.

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Just… wow

Thursday, September 2nd, 2021 Alive 18,391 days

A screenshot of the NJ Family Care web site

I think I have found the worst government web site on the planet: New Jersey Family Care.

Its many technical faults aside, it looks like something a kid whipped up in Geocities in the 1990ʼs, not something dealing with healthcare. And certainly not something that taxpayer dollars paid for.

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Gettinʼ nothinʼ but static from Channel Z

Tuesday, August 10th, 2021 Alive 18,368 days

An error message from Netflix

Iʼm not happy that Netflix is borked. But at least the error message is creative.

But if Netflix canʼt keep its system running, what chance do I have?

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Friday, July 30th, 2021 Alive 18,357 days

An error message from Capital One

If I canʼt trust Capital One to run a web site, how can I trust it with my money?

Capital One failing at web development
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Your time is up

Saturday, June 26th, 2021 Alive 18,323 days

A threat from the Marriott web site

“Before Time Runs Out?” Thatʼs pretty scary.

What does Marriott know about my health that I donʼt? Or maybe itʼs some kind of a threat? Why is Marriott threatening me?

I guess Iʼll stay somewhere else thatʼs less threatening.

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♫ Weʼre the Bank of America… Whoa-oh! ♫

Monday, June 7th, 2021 Alive 18,304 days

An error message from Bank of America

With 200,000 employees, if Bank of America canʼt keep its web site from failing, what chance do I have?

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So stop shopping at Walmart

Friday, March 12th, 2021 Alive 18,217 days

An error message from WalMart

In spite of all their fancy JavaScript, and invasive telemetry, I donʼt think online stores really have any idea how much money they lose every day by making their shopping process so complicated that the web site breaks.

Simplifying the stack would save development costs, management costs, and increase sales.

But nobody in tech gets promoted for making things less complicated.

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Pixels arenʼt free

Thursday, March 11th, 2021 Alive 18,216 days

An error message from WalMart

Vague error messages cost less, and Walmart passes that savings on to you!

Assuming you can eventually get to the check-out portion of the web site.

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127 characters ought be enough for anyone

Friday, February 12th, 2021 Alive 18,189 days

A borked Walmart product listing

Somewhere, a Walmart web developer and his database manager are learning about UTF-8 and utfmb8.

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Busted bars

Thursday, January 21st, 2021 Alive 18,167 days

DoorDashʼs web site asking the impossible

Sure wish I could order Dairy Queen through DoorDash, like the web site says I can.

But DoorDashʼs web site insists that I pick a size for a box of Buster Bars, which only come in one size.

I wonder how many other sales Dairy Queen has lost because of DoorDash.

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Sunday, November 15th, 2020 Alive 18,100 days

An error message from Facebook

Facebook claims to have the “smartest people in the room” working for it.

If Facebook canʼt keep its web site working, what chance do I have?

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Monday, November 9th, 2020 Alive 18,094 days

Diptyqueʼs 404 page

After enduring four pop-ups, I click on “Gifts” and get a 404 error. Good job, Diptyque. It looks like the marketing department runs the web site, not IT.

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Sunday, November 8th, 2020 Alive 18,093 days

A screenshot of a bunch of pop-ups obscuring a web site

I wonder what kind off things Made In New Mexico sells. I guess Iʼll never know since the products are hidden behind six pop-ups.

So I bought elsewhere.

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Thursday, November 5th, 2020 Alive 18,090 days

A Whole Foods error message

If Amazon.com canʼt keep Whole Foods running, what chance do I have?

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Tuesday, November 3rd, 2020 Alive 18,088 days

An error message from eBay

If fleaBay canʼt keep its web site up, what chance do I have?

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Monday, November 2nd, 2020 Alive 18,087 days

An error message from eBay

There is simply no way to opt-out of #spam from fleaBay.

If it canʼt handle something as simple as e-mail subscriptions, why would I trust it with money?

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OK, Pal

Wednesday, August 12th, 2020 Alive 18,005 days

An error message from PayPal

If PayPal canʼt handle running a web site, how can I trust it with my money?

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Your slip is showing

Thursday, May 14th, 2020 Alive 17,915 days

A Grace Digital web page leaking JavaScript all over the place

Looks like someone at Grace Digital applied strip_tags() in a location where marketing wanted to track some people with JavaScript.

ProTip: You donʼt need JavaScript to keep track of your customers.

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Monday, April 20th, 2020 Alive 17,891 days

Error messages from both Chase and Citibank

If both Chase and Citibankʼs web sites can be borked at the same time, what chance do I have?

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Saturday, September 14th, 2019 Alive 17,672 days

An error message on the Chewy web site

I hate to buy cat food from Amazon.com, but I donʼt have much of a choice since Chewyʼs web site has been borked for half an hour now.

If Chewy canʼt keep a web site running, what chance do I have?

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Wednesday, August 21st, 2019 Alive 17,648 days

An error message from the New York Times app

The New York Timesʼ 500 page is 404.

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For just a dollar a day…

Friday, February 15th, 2019 Alive 17,461 days

An error message from the Citibank web site

We only gave Citibank $326,000,000,000.00 in taxpayer money for its bailout. Maybe if we all chip in a little more, Citi can fix its web site.

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Friday, November 23rd, 2018 Alive 17,377 days

An administative login screen on the Smashing Pumpkins web site

This is what happens when you try to view the privacy policy and terms of service on the Smashing Pumpkins web store.

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Saturday, November 10th, 2018 Alive 17,364 days

AT&T telling me to wait

“Give us a moment” has been spinning in my browser for three hours.

I guess AT&Tʼs web site is connected through the ever-reliable AT&T network.

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Friday, September 7th, 2018 Alive 17,300 days

A malformed web page from NV Energy

I guess “bang” is one way for an electric company to get my attention.

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