BlathrWayne Lorentz

If your local supermarket sells chicken feet labeled “Chicken paws,” you might live in Texas.

“Giant inflatable novelty pool sharks? Aisle 19."

“The store only has red Charmin, and not the blue? Thatʼs OK, Iʼll wait till next time,” said no one after March, 2020.

Dear Amazon Fresh,

Why do you always show me what you donʼt have, rather than what you do have?

Iʼm not impressed by your selection if I canʼt buy anything. Youʼre just demonstrating the weakness of your supply chain.

I just came out of a Smithʼs-branded Kroger supermarket.

It has vaping supplies, marijuana smoking supplies, a casino, and more aisles of alcohol than it does food.

You stay classy, Kroger.

Only one item in the deli case is labeled “Made in the USA.” So, where are the others made, and why can't know?

Whatʼs trashier than a couple of Smithʼs checkout girls talking about how high theyʼre going to get after work?

When one of them closes the lane youʼre standing in and tells the other that sheʼs going on break so she can smoke some weed.

Hmmm… $1.50 each, or two for $5.00?

This is why the nuns pounded fractions into our heads in elementary school. So we wouldnʼt get ripped off by Kroger.