BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Supermarkets.”

Are the beaks “Chicken noses?”

Friday, February 25th, 2022 Alive 18,567 days

“Chicken paws” for sale at H.E.B.

If your local supermarket sells chicken feet labeled “Chicken paws,” you might live in Texas.

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Youʼre gonna need a bigger ladder

Tuesday, May 18th, 2021 Alive 18,284 days

Inflatable pool novelties at the supermarket

“Giant inflatable novelty pool sharks? Aisle 19."

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Monday, January 4th, 2021 Alive 18,150 days

“The store only has red Charmin, and not the blue? Thatʼs OK, Iʼll wait till next time,” said no one after March, 2020.

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Sunday, January 3rd, 2021 Alive 18,149 days

Amazon Fresh, out of everything

Dear Amazon Fresh,

Why do you always show me what you donʼt have, rather than what you do have?

Iʼm not impressed by your selection if I canʼt buy anything. Youʼre just demonstrating the weakness of your supply chain.

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Could you buy a gun, too?

Saturday, January 4th, 2020 Alive 17,784 days

I just came out of a Smithʼs-branded Kroger supermarket.

It has vaping supplies, marijuana smoking supplies, a casino, and more aisles of alcohol than it does food.

You stay classy, Kroger.

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You donʼt want to know

Monday, September 23rd, 2019 Alive 17,681 days

The Smithʼs deli case

Only one item in the deli case is labeled “Made in the USA.” So, where are the others made, and why can't know?

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2211 North Rampart Boulevard, Las Vegas

Saturday, September 21st, 2019 Alive 17,679 days

Whatʼs trashier than a couple of Smithʼs checkout girls talking about how high theyʼre going to get after work?

When one of them closes the lane youʼre standing in and tells the other that sheʼs going on break so she can smoke some weed.

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Saturday, June 30th, 2018 Alive 17,231 days

…at least he learned how to make bread in prison.

— Some random person in the bread aisle at Kroger
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Saturday, June 30th, 2018 Alive 17,231 days

Woman: “It’s just bread.”

Man: “You’re just bread.”

— Random couple in the bread aisle at Kroger
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Sunday, May 27th, 2018 Alive 17,197 days

A bad deal at Kroger

Hmmm… $1.50 each, or two for $5.00?

This is why the nuns pounded fractions into our heads in elementary school. So we wouldnʼt get ripped off by Kroger.

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