Blathr Wayne Lorentz

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Showing blathrs with the tag “Signs.”

Either way, youʼre screwed

Wednesday, March 8th, 2023 Alive 18,943 days

Signs on a boat

On a boat, off the coast of the Cayman Islands, there is a sign reading “Maximum passenger: 250.” Next to it is another sign reading “72 adultʼs life jackets.” I can go three ways with this:

  1. Since “Adultʼs” is possessive, who are the 72 people who reserved a life jacket in advance?
  2. In the event of an emergency, the shipping company is OK with losing 178 passengers to sharks.
  3. Since there are no life jackets for children, in the event of an emergency, it appears weʼre supposed to use them to distract the sharks.
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Little Saigone

Saturday, March 12th, 2022 Alive 18,582 days

Hai Bà Trung Street

When I last lived in Houston, the Midtown neighborhood was also known as Little Saigon. Youʼd never know it today.

Most of the streets had Vietnamese street signs, there were at least a half-dozen Vietnamese restaurants, plus supermarkets, general stores, social clubs, and more. One restaurant was well-known because of its giant sign “Fu Kim.”

Today, thatʼs almost all gone.

This is the only Vietnamese street sign I know of in Midtown. The only other evidence that the area had any Asian influence at all is a peeling sign above an auto repair shop.

Iʼve been told that most of the Vietnamese people moved to the suburbs, but among the people Iʼve spoken with, there doesnʼt seem to be a consensus about why. Some say itʼs because property in Midtown became too expensive, but that seems unlikely, as itʼs still really quite cheap. Others say itʼs because the initial wave of post-Vietnam War immigrants became assimilated, and as they became upwardly mobile, they pursued the American dream in the ʼburbs.

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Jimmy Stewart approves

Thursday, November 18th, 2021 Alive 18,468 days

The neon sign of Spec's liquor store

I donʼt intuitively understand the link between liquor stores and rabbits, but I approve of neon signs, so Iʼm OK with this.

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No problem

Sunday, October 31st, 2021 Alive 18,450 days

A warning sign

When the National Museum of Funeral History tells you not to open a casket, you do not open the casket.

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Thirsty for vowels

Monday, August 16th, 2021 Alive 18,374 days

A dysfunctional fountain “Closed for Maintainence”

Three fails in one word. Pretty impressive.

  1. “Maintenance” is spelled wrong
  2. The line break isnʼt between syllables
  3. The line break isnʼt hyphenated

An additional point should be deducted for putting a dingbat in the middle of a sentence.

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🐢

Thursday, March 5th, 2020 Alive 17,845 days

A tortoise crossing sign

For four miles, I saw no tortoises. I feel ripped off.

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Sunday, February 24th, 2019 Alive 17,470 days

An ignored warning sign

You can tell this is a “dangerous area” and that “this is not a trail” by the five million bootprints going around the warning sign.

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The road, she is closed

Sunday, February 24th, 2019 Alive 17,470 days

A road closed sign

Lunch is down in that valley. Itʼs a 40 mile detour.

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Sunday, February 24th, 2019 Alive 17,470 days

A tortoise crossing sign

This may be the only occasion when a tortoise has been described as having a wild life.

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Friday, February 1st, 2019 Alive 17,447 days

A chilly Walgreens marquee

Iʼm not sure that 60° and palm trees is exactly a winter storm, even in Las Vegas.

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

Darcie under 25

25? She wishes.

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Thursday, January 10th, 2019 Alive 17,425 days

How not to use a toilet

Itʼs a good thing the motel has this sign in the bathroom. Because I was totally going to park my car in the toilet.

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Thursday, January 10th, 2019 Alive 17,425 days

A list of ammenities in Inyo County, California

This helpful gubʼmint sign lists the amenities in all of the villages in the Greater Meteopolitan Death Valley Meteoplex.

Notice that there are more places to swim than use your cell phone.

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Do not touch

Friday, October 12th, 2018 Alive 17,335 days

Darcie holding a shard of pottery she found on the ground

Here we see Darcie holding a piece of pottery she found at an abandoned Anasazi city. A few days later we learned that the Navajo believe touching Anasazi pottery shards is super duper bad luck.

There really should be a sign or something.

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Coward

Wednesday, October 10th, 2018 Alive 17,333 days

A sign in a hotel bathroom reading “Excellent water; safe to drink”

I wasnʼt worried until I read the sign.

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Lido Dido

Tuesday, October 9th, 2018 Alive 17,332 days

A sign warning of rattlesnakes

I wonder what a “Human” icon would look like, if snakes could make signs.

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Tuesday, October 9th, 2018 Alive 17,332 days

The Chief Apartments in Winslow, Arizona

For Millennials, itʼs not just a home; itʼs a hate crime.

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Smoking signal

Saturday, October 6th, 2018 Alive 17,329 days

A sign reading “Doo nídaʼ atʼ oh da”

Now you know how to say “No smoking” in Navajo.

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Saturday, October 6th, 2018 Alive 17,329 days

A bathroom sign

I guess thereʼs no icon for “Indian in a wheelchair.”

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Friday, October 5th, 2018 Alive 17,328 days

A sign reading “Welcome to the Hualapai Nation”

Thank you. Sorry I knocked over that big brochure stand in the lobby.

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Sunday, June 24th, 2018 Alive 17,225 days

A sign warning people not to walk after 10am

So… this is a thing.

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Saturday, June 16th, 2018 Alive 17,217 days

A sign at the Nevada Inn

Did this motel just compliment me on my butt?

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Saturday, June 16th, 2018 Alive 17,217 days

An improvised spelling of “wifi” on a sign

It looks like the Sands Motel is fresh outta Wʼs. Jam a couple of Vʼs together, and nobody will notice.

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Saturday, June 16th, 2018 Alive 17,217 days

A family funeral home in a strip mall

Thereʼs at least two ways to go with this one.

  1. Itʼs a funeral home. In a strip mall.
  2. Itʼs a funeral home that doesnʼt bury individuals; only families.
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Monday, May 28th, 2018 Alive 17,198 days

A voting sign

Thatʼs strange. I didnʼt even know Bumoto was running this year. Heʼs not on my ballot.

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Friday, April 15th, 2016 Alive 16,425 days

A sign on the subway reading “Mildly air-conditioned.”

Much better than the spicy hot air conditioning.

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