Blathr Wayne Lorentz

Todayʼs coffee is Ralphʼs Blend from Ralph Lauren, the guy whoʼs been filling the New York Times with full-page ads trying to bring back pinstriped suits.

The coffee is OK. Itʼs pretty much what you would expect from someone who opens a coffee shop inside a clothing store. Fine for Aunt Tillyʼs china, but not going to put any hair on your chest. Thatʼs fine because I like my coffee the way I like my women: mild and reliable.

One note about the Macyʼs coffee I mentioned in a previous missive. Unlike every other coffee in the world that comes in a foil bag, it comes in a paper bag. Like a paper lunch sack. So the beans are not protected from the air at all. I could smell them before I even opened the mailbox, and had to keep them in a big zippy bag because they stunk up the kitchen.

Last weekʼs coffee was from Ralph Lauren. Todayʼs coffee is from Macyʼs. But not the evil Cincinnati mega retailer that ate Foleyʼs red apple for lunch. This one is Macyʼs Coffee in Flagstaff, Arizona. (Simply “Flag” to the locals.)

Macyʼs Coffee is run by a guy named Macy, and the department store chain doesnʼt seem to notice or care. Unlike Microsoft that sued a kid named Mike Rowe who registered the domain name mikerowesoft.com years ago. But thatʼs another rant.

The specific type is “Decafe Sumatra.” Why itʼs “decafe” instead of “decaf,” I donʼt know. I checked, and “decafe” is not Indonesian for decaf, so maybe Mr. Macy is just trying to be extra fancy. But thatʼs OK, because I like my coffee the way I like my women: fancy and Indonesian.

The coffee is good, as decafs go. A little better than average. Slightly smooth, but not noticeably so unless youʼre looking for it. Decafs are getting hard to find these days. A lot of the independent roasters seem to be cutting down on SKUs, so I either have to search harder or get more exercise. I think you know which option Iʼll choose.