BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Lie.”

Common name

Tuesday, October 18th, 2022 Alive 18,802 days

A common buckeye rests on a blue chair in the garden

A butterfly came to visit my garden tonight. Itʼs called a common buckeye, but to me itʼs most uncommon, because I donʼt get very many butterflies.

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I have plenty of credentials

Thursday, September 22nd, 2022 Alive 18,776 days

A FortiClient error message with bad grammar

“Insufficient” means “not enough,” it doesnʼt mean wrong. “Incorrect” is closer to what FortiClient is trying to say. This is why tech companies should hire a proofreader for anything that leaves the building, even if only on a contract basis. It makes you look amateur, and in the case of this security app — insecure.

Also, if you use “credential(s),” rather than just counting the number of credentials and using the correct word, thatʼs just lazy.

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No wonder boarding is so slow

Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days

A signboard at Midway Airport

Southwest Airlines encourages people to download its app for a “contactless day of travel.” You know what else is contactless? The way it was done up to now.

There's nothing about using an app that is more contactless than using a home-printed ticket, or even the old-style paper tickets. Both are read by a contactless scanner. It's not like the gate agent is going to lick your face because youʼre not using an app.

There are more disadvantages to using an app for your boarding pass than using a piece of paper:

  • Ask any janitor — people drop their phones in toilets all the time.
  • Restrooms, bars, restaurants, payment kiosks — there are a thousand ways to lose your phone in an airport.
  • Phones run out of battery.
  • Phone apps crash.
  • Phone apps malfunction.
  • Internet connectivity is required, but not guaranteed.
  • Internet connectivity in airports is notoriously slow and unreliable.
  • People run out of data on their mobile plans while waiting for their planes.
  • Screens time out and turn off just when someone gets to the gate agent. It happens constantly.

My observation waiting in line behind people using app-based boarding passes is that the paper passes scan more quickly, and more reliably than the phone-based equivalents.

The only reason to use an app-based boarding pass is if you enjoy forking over even more of your personal information to an airline so that it can sell that information to other people.

I am a paying passenger. I am not your recurring revenue stream.

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Youʼre a pond hen

Tuesday, May 24th, 2022 Alive 18,655 days

The reflecting pool outside the New Orleans Museum of Art

Meet my friend, Lily. This is her pad.

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Your time is up

Saturday, June 26th, 2021 Alive 18,323 days

A threat from the Marriott web site

“Before Time Runs Out?” Thatʼs pretty scary.

What does Marriott know about my health that I donʼt? Or maybe itʼs some kind of a threat? Why is Marriott threatening me?

I guess Iʼll stay somewhere else thatʼs less threatening.

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Halmark is a spammer

Friday, April 30th, 2021 Alive 18,266 days

A screenshot of my opting out of Hallmarkʼs spam campaign, which it chose to ignore

Hallmark took my e-mail address “for [my] receipt.” I even took a screenshot just in case it lied. Which it did.

I now get spam from Hallmark at the unique e-mail address I set up for this Hallmark order.

Hallmark cannot be trusted.

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Slide rules

Monday, February 10th, 2020 Alive 17,821 days

You know what was kinda awesome about being a kid? School supplies.

The smell of the cheap vinyl of a Trapper Keeper. The crunch of a brand new pencil being twirled in a little plastic sharpener. The anticipation of the endless possibilities inside a clean marble composition book.

Somehow, office supplies are not so magical.

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Tuesday, December 17th, 2019 Alive 17,766 days

One of Darcieʼs friends in Kowloon has started stocking up on toilet paper. She says that everyone is stockpiling supplies, especially paper goods, because of the flu thatʼs spreading on the mainland.

My spidey sense tells me this is going to be something big; especially if people in Hong Kong are that worried about it. Iʼm going to start picking up extra supplies, just in case. Paper goods, I guess. But also canned and boxed foods. Itʼs not like I donʼt have the room for it; and if nothing bad happens, Iʼll just save it all for the next earthquake, flash flood, or other natural disaster.

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It's killing the jasmine

Sunday, September 15th, 2019 Alive 17,673 days

My neighborʼs in-ground pool seems to be leaking.

Weʼre on a hill, and their house is about five feet higher than mine, with a cement block wall dividing their elevated yard from my lower yard.

Thereʼs a slow trickle of water coming through the block wall.

Itʼs kind of nice, like a free tranquil burbling water feature. Iʼm sure Charlie Dimmock would approve.

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