BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Groceries.”

Recact-o-matic

Saturday, October 1st, 2022 Alive 18,785 days

H.E.B. notifying me that my groceries will arrive in 17 minutes

When H.E.B. says the grocery delivery person is 17 minutes away, thatʼs how I know he's standing outside my door unloading his cart. It's always exactly 17 minutes. I get the text message, look for the cat acting up, and can see the shadow of the delivery person outside my door.

Consistency is a good thing. And “consistently wrong” is a type of consistency, right?

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Sunday, January 20th, 2019 Alive 17,435 days

Iʼve noticed an increase in empty shelves and lack of product choices at Target, Safeway, and Kroger stores over the last six months.

Itʼs starting to look a little Soviet out there.

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Friday, January 18th, 2019 Alive 17,433 days

Locked up Tide pods

If you ever wondered what Millennials will ruin next, here it is.

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Wednesday, December 26th, 2018 Alive 17,410 days

Snowbirds pruning their veg in the checkout line

Whatʼs more annoying than someone who writes a check in the express lane? How about a couple of snowbirds who trim the wilted leaves off of their produce right there in the checkout line?

“We donʼt have all these leaves on our vegetables in Canada!”

And for those of you who have never shopped in a Las Vegas supermarket, yes thatʼs a baby casino in the background.

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