Blathr Wayne Lorentz

What is Blathr?
Showing blathrs with the tag “Death.”

Thanks, politicians

Wednesday, October 5th, 2022 Alive 18,789 days

Obituary from the October 5, 2022 Houston Chronicle

This is a clipping of an obituary that was in the newspaper this morning.

Amazingly, I still see people on the internet who claim that COVID-19 is only dangerous to the elderly, and theyʼve lived long enough and should vacate their homes to make way for new generations.

Selfishness and stupidity seem to go hand-in-hand.

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No problem

Sunday, October 31st, 2021 Alive 18,450 days

A warning sign

When the National Museum of Funeral History tells you not to open a casket, you do not open the casket.

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Creed of the Oregon Trail

Saturday, April 24th, 2021 Alive 18,260 days

No one ever said on their deathbed, “I wish Iʼd spent more time cleaning the toilet.”

Unless they were dying of dysentery. Then, maybe.

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Monday, January 4th, 2021 Alive 18,150 days

“I wish Iʼd spent more time scrubbing grout,” said no one on their deathbed ever.

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Saturday, December 5th, 2020 Alive 18,120 days

Iʼve decided that grief is an ocean: it comes in waves. The waves get bigger and the waves get smaller and sometimes the sea is calm. The tide still comes in occasionally from my fatherʼs death, and that was almost 25 years go. I expect this will happen with my mother, as well.

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Tuesday, July 14th, 2020 Alive 17,976 days

As of this week, more Americans have died of COVID-19 than died in the Vietnam War, the Korean War, the Revolutionary War, and the War of 1812 combined.

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Sunday, February 3rd, 2019 Alive 17,449 days

Iʼm fascinated that Gladys Knight looks like she might just outlive us all.

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Saturday, January 12th, 2019 Alive 17,427 days

A ghost town cemetery

After a hard nightʼs haunting, this is where ghost town ghosts go to kick back and relax.

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Winning is what matters

Wednesday, November 7th, 2018 Alive 17,361 days

Electrion results

Meanwhile, in Nevada… a dead brothel owner whom the newspapers say police suspect was poisoned by 1990ʼs “Hollywood Madam” Heidi Fleiss after going for a midnight drive with diminutive porn star Ron Jeremy following his 72nd birthday party with a bunch of hookers has won the 36th District.

Did I mention thatʼs heʼs also dead?

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Tuesday, July 3rd, 2018 Alive 17,234 days

I ate so many Doritos when I was a teen-ager that I may die, but Iʼll never decompose.

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Sunday, June 24th, 2018 Alive 17,225 days

An old west cemetery

The last burial in this cemetery was in 1911.

So the lesson we learn today is to forget fancy Italian marble. If you want your grave marker to last 107 years, have it made out of railroad ties and punched metal.

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