BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Cats.”

She just wants to help

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2022 Alive 18,817 days

Annie ignores the computerʼs “Rub out” button, and does it herself

Itʼs O.K., Annie. I have a button to do that.

❖ ❖ ❖

Isn't it too early for this sort of thing?

Sunday, September 25th, 2022 Alive 18,779 days

A jack-o-lantern and black cat-themed bubble nightlight

Halloween can be educational. In addition to teaching children about math (candy nutrition labels), geography (mapping out a trick-or-treat route), history (Halloween folklore), and extortion ("Trick or treat!"), it's also possible to learn about physics. The way to do that is with a Halloween bubble light.

I don't know why bubble lights went out of fashion, but showing a child that something that is boiling can still safe to touch is an opportunity to learn about the phases of matter, the elements, boiling points, and all kinds of happy physics and chemistry things.

Also, it's never too early to put up Halloween decorations — if they're educational.

❖ ❖ ❖

There's no porch light. Is she doing trick-or-treat?

Tuesday, September 20th, 2022 Alive 18,774 days

She's in there. Snoring.

Annie spends so much time sleeping in the closet that I decorated her front door for Halloween.

❖ ❖ ❖

She doesn't even have thumbs

Saturday, September 10th, 2022 Alive 18,764 days

Annie trying to use a TRS-80 Model 100

“Whadda ya mean there's no Facebook Messenger on this thing? I have to call my bookie to beat the spread!”

❖ ❖ ❖

Sheʼs in for a surprise

Monday, August 22nd, 2022 Alive 18,745 days

Annie tucks tighter than Thomas Daley in the men's 10 meter synchronized platform event.

❖ ❖ ❖

Laser focused

Sunday, July 24th, 2022 Alive 18,716 days

Antoinette staring directly into your soul

I thought I was being all clever, using my phoneʼs camera flash to see what was making that noise in the dark.

It turns out, I donʼt want to know.

❖ ❖ ❖

Room with a view

Tuesday, May 24th, 2022 Alive 18,655 days

Snook

This is Snook, the shopcat at Louisiana Music Factory. Heʼs very affectionate when not sleeping in a sunny window, but doesnʼt respond when asked for advice on jazz records.

❖ ❖ ❖

Sage

Tuesday, May 24th, 2022 Alive 18,655 days

“When the rat laughs at the cat, thereʼs a hole nearby.”

Sounds about right. If you canʼt trust graffiti, who can you trust?

❖ ❖ ❖

Saturday, January 1st, 2022 Alive 18,512 days

Annie watching Oliver, a cat in another window
❖ ❖ ❖

Lactose tolerant

Friday, October 15th, 2021 Alive 18,434 days

Annie bogarting my pizza

Annie likes to pull the green peppers and black olives off of my pizza. But only if itʼs from Frankʼs Pizza. If itʼs any other pizza, she just eats the cheese.

My cat eats a lot of cheese.

❖ ❖ ❖

His beard looks soft

Sunday, September 26th, 2021 Alive 18,415 days

Annie watching Star Trek: The Next Generation

Sometimes Annie watches Star Trek with me. Itʼs no surprise; all the ladies love Riker.

❖ ❖ ❖

Tom-foolery

Friday, September 3rd, 2021 Alive 18,392 days

Annie eating peanuts out of a can

I really should stop this tomfoolery. But I also want to find out if sheʼs dumb enough to get her head stuck in a peanut can.

❖ ❖ ❖

Time for a break

Wednesday, September 1st, 2021 Alive 18,390 days

Annie obstructing the use of my ThinkPad

Annie has decided that Iʼve done enough work for today, and I should turn my attention to smaller, furrier needs.

❖ ❖ ❖

If you need some help, Iʼll be asleep

Friday, August 20th, 2021 Alive 18,378 days

Annie observing from on high

Annie has found a safe location from which to observe the Grand Unpacking of All the Things.

❖ ❖ ❖

Asleep in the deal

Friday, August 13th, 2021 Alive 18,371 days

Annie sleeping in a shopping bag

Annie is half in the bag this morning.

❖ ❖ ❖

“Youʼre like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.”

Wednesday, August 11th, 2021 Alive 18,369 days

Kitty in the kitchen

Annie reflects on her day.

❖ ❖ ❖

That looks comfy

Thursday, August 5th, 2021 Alive 18,363 days

Annie asleep on the heater

Annie relaxing at the Aloft Hotel in San Antonio.

❖ ❖ ❖

East bound and down, loaded up and truckinʼ

Wednesday, August 4th, 2021 Alive 18,362 days

Annie keeping an eye out for bears

“Dude, there's a Smokey on your tail. Floor it!”

❖ ❖ ❖

Roaminʼ cat lick

Wednesday, August 4th, 2021 Alive 18,362 days

Annie on the prowl

Annie surveys our room at the Best Western Plus Hotel in Fort Stockton, Texas before settling down to sleep on top of the refrigerator.

❖ ❖ ❖

Such great heights

Monday, August 2nd, 2021 Alive 18,360 days

Annie sleeping on a pile of furniture

After a busy day surveying the packing of all of our things, Annie snoozes high atop the pile of stuff in our living room.

❖ ❖ ❖

Wicker does that to her

Tuesday, July 20th, 2021 Alive 18,347 days

Annie sleeps in a sunbeam in our library.
❖ ❖ ❖

Bess friends

Sunday, July 18th, 2021 Alive 18,345 days

Annie creeping around on a bookshelf

She canʼt read, but Annie sure digs those Nancy Drew books.

❖ ❖ ❖

Monday, July 12th, 2021 Alive 18,339 days

Sunday… interrupted
❖ ❖ ❖

Smoking idea

Saturday, July 10th, 2021 Alive 18,337 days

The lease for my new apartment is very long, but I read the entire document anyway.

It turns out that I am not allowed to let my cat smoke a hookah in the freight elevator.

First thing on my to-do list once Iʼm settled: Buy a cat-sized hookah.

❖ ❖ ❖

Summerlin hot dog: $24.95, ketchup extra

Saturday, May 29th, 2021 Alive 18,295 days

The blandly-named Las Vegas Stadium, seen from my balcony

As I write this, I can hear the announcers at the baseball stadium a block away announcing the starting lineup. Itʼs the Las Vegas Aviators against the Sacramento River Cats. I hope thatʼs a fish, since generally speaking, cats and rivers get along like hydrogen bombs and Pacific atolls.

A big league baseball team, the Oakland Aʼs, was here all week inspecting the stadium and the city and the showgirls. Since Las Vegas stole Oaklandʼs football team, it seems natural to try to steal its baseball team, as well. The move would happen before Las Vegas could built a real stadium, so until one can be erected, the Aʼs would play… wait for it… a block away from me. What could possibly go wrong?

❖ ❖ ❖

Sheʼs stalking you

Monday, April 5th, 2021 Alive 18,241 days

Annie peering at me from behind the orange chair
❖ ❖ ❖

“Whatʼs your password?”

Monday, March 29th, 2021 Alive 18,234 days

Annie taking my job

Iʼm tired. Annie is going to work for me today.

❖ ❖ ❖

Like nothing at all?

Monday, March 15th, 2021 Alive 18,220 days

Annie sniffing a flower

I wonder if a daisy smells the same to her as it does to me.

❖ ❖ ❖

Oh, to be a cat

Monday, March 1st, 2021 Alive 18,206 days

Annie being happy

Annie doesnʼt worry about money. She doesnʼt worry about COVID. She doesnʼt know there are bad people in the world.

All she knows is that she has a full tummy, and an attentive friend. And thatʼs all that matters to her.

❖ ❖ ❖

Mice are not dependents

Sunday, February 28th, 2021 Alive 18,205 days

Annie doing my taxes

“If youʼd get me a computer of my own, I could finish your taxes a lot faster.”

❖ ❖ ❖

Sunday, February 21st, 2021 Alive 18,198 days

Annie being bored

“The boredom. I has it. Play with me.”

❖ ❖ ❖

Cats dig skills

Sunday, January 31st, 2021 Alive 18,177 days

Annie ignoring a game of Pong Sports

Annie is not impressed by my mad Pong skills.

❖ ❖ ❖

Yes

Saturday, January 30th, 2021 Alive 18,176 days

Annie in silhouette

“Does this sunlight make me look fat?”

❖ ❖ ❖

Good idea

Tuesday, January 19th, 2021 Alive 18,165 days

Annie inspecting our supplies

“I see youʼre got enough toilet paper to last for the rest of the year. How about stocking up on kitty treats? The good stuff, none of this house-brand Safeway crap.”

❖ ❖ ❖

Saturday, January 16th, 2021 Alive 18,162 days

Today Annie sat in the bathroom doorway and watched as I cleaned my toilet. So naturally, I felt obligated to clean the cat box next.

I think just got guilt-tripped by a cat.

❖ ❖ ❖

It is the desert

Monday, January 4th, 2021 Alive 18,150 days

Annie reading the newspaper

Today I learned that Annie is in the market for a whole-home water treatment system. I guess I should clean her kitty bowls more often.

❖ ❖ ❖

Cheap date

Saturday, December 26th, 2020 Alive 18,141 days

Annie in a box

“Thank you for the box. Itʼs just what I wanted.”

❖ ❖ ❖

What a mug

Saturday, September 5th, 2020 Alive 18,029 days

Annie on a bag of coffee

Todayʼs coffee is Kitty Coffee from Populace Coffee in Bay City, Michigan. Of course, your coffee can be Doggie Coffee or whatever you want, since Populace will print whatever you want on the bag. Upload a photo, and add some text, and youʼre done.

The price is pretty reasonable, considering that itʼs a one-off printing. I think itʼs around $22, including shipping.

That said, even though the coffee is good, this is an operation to avoid. When I shop online, I use a different e-mail address with each merchant. Thatʼs how I know that Populace sold my e-mail address to spammers, and also sold my phone number to text message spammers trying to push coffee grinders on me. This is not how you win a repeat customer.

❖ ❖ ❖

Adore me!

Sunday, August 16th, 2020 Alive 18,009 days

Annie telling me that itʼs time to stop reading ther newspaper and time to start scratching her belly

Sunday, interrupted.

❖ ❖ ❖

Saturday, June 27th, 2020 Alive 17,959 days

About the only normal thing these days is the cat. She eats. She poops. She licks herself. All the normal things a cat should do. Sheʼs never been very bright, so she doesnʼt know anything is wrong. The last cat was very empathetic. He knew when something was wrong, and would comfort us. If he heard Darcie cry or yelp or swear, heʼd run to her side. Now she only has me. Itʼs not the same thing.

❖ ❖ ❖

Sunday, July 22nd, 2018 Alive 17,253 days

Today I left the house because the cat was being an asshole.

It may be time to re-evaluate how I rank around here.

❖ ❖ ❖

And then he runs into the living room

Monday, July 9th, 2018 Alive 17,240 days

There should be a word for when youʼre taking a leak, and the cat walks between you and the toilet with his tail raised high, and you end up peeing on your own cat.

I mean other than “Eeeeew.”

❖ ❖ ❖