Blathr Wayne Lorentz

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Showing blathrs with the tag “Boats.”

Either way, youʼre screwed

Wednesday, March 8th, 2023 Alive 18,943 days

Signs on a boat

On a boat, off the coast of the Cayman Islands, there is a sign reading “Maximum passenger: 250.” Next to it is another sign reading “72 adultʼs life jackets.” I can go three ways with this:

  1. Since “Adultʼs” is possessive, who are the 72 people who reserved a life jacket in advance?
  2. In the event of an emergency, the shipping company is OK with losing 178 passengers to sharks.
  3. Since there are no life jackets for children, in the event of an emergency, it appears weʼre supposed to use them to distract the sharks.
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Row, row, row your boat

Sunday, May 1st, 2022 Alive 18,632 days

People kayaking on Buffalo Bayou in the shadow of downtown Houston

Itʼs still a bit strange for me to see people leisurely recreating along and on top of Buffalo Bayou. When I lived in Houston twenty years ago, it would be unthinkable. The bayou was considered so filthy that people treated it the same way children do when they play the hot lava game hopping around on the living room furniture.

Now I see people boating, fishing, and generally having a good time along a waterway that a generation ago was verboten.

According to the bayouʼs 2001 Master Plan Project document, itʼs 13½ feet deep downtown. That same document also states that there is an E.P.A. Superfund hazardous waste site a half-mile downstream from this location containing “arsenic, chromium, cobalt, lead, copper, and nickel.” Yum.

Maybe thatʼs been cleaned up in the last 20 years. Maybe the document is correct in stating that somehow, in spite of regular bombardment by hurricanes, tropical storms, and other severe weather that the bad stuff somehow never leaches into the bayou. Or maybe Iʼll just stay out of the water for now. If the hazardous waste doesnʼt get me, a buffalo gar will.

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Gas and go

Monday, April 18th, 2022 Alive 18,619 days

If your morning commute involves dodging natural gas tankers, you might be using the Lynchburg Ferry.

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