BlathrWayne Lorentz

Showing blathrs with the tag “Advertising.”

♫ I want my MeTV ♫

Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days

An ad for WRME-LD/Chicago

If your radio station is actually an analog signal at 87.75 Mhz, muxed with a low-power ATSC 3.0 digital TV channel at the ass-end of the FM dial, and you still manage to come in #13 in the ratings, youʼre doing something right.

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Transportation artery

Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 Alive 18,733 days

An ad for Butcher Boy cooking oils

If you see an advertisement for cooking oil while on the subway, you might be in the Middle West.

Very wholesome.

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Boy, howdy

Saturday, July 2nd, 2022 Alive 18,694 days

A wet wipe dispenser sponsored by Energy Texas

If your electric company promotes itself with the slogan “Giddy Up!” you might be in Texas.

And if you trust something as important as electricity to a company that promotes itself with the slogan “Giddy Up!” you get what you deserve.

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Now thatʼs stuck in my head

Saturday, March 5th, 2022 Alive 18,575 days

Whereʼs Lionel says, “Hello. Is it me youʼre looking for?”

Why is Lionel Richie dressed like Whereʼs Waldo?

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♫ The dream of the 90ʼs has died in Portland… Portland… Portland ♫

Sunday, June 20th, 2021 Alive 18,317 days

An ad for Portlant, Oregon

If your city has to take out an ad in the New York Times letting people know everything is not as bad as it seems, you know you have a P.R. problem.

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Too bad CentOS is dead

Tuesday, May 25th, 2021 Alive 18,291 days

An advertisement inside Ubuntu

Just when I thought that Linux was the last operating system without built-in advertising, along comes Ubuntu.

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Good for me, not for thee

Friday, May 14th, 2021 Alive 18,280 days

Apple spamming my iPhone

iOS Apps are not allowed to use push messaging for advertising. Unless itʼs an Apple app. Then itʼs perfectly fine.

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Define “level”

Friday, May 7th, 2021 Alive 18,273 days

An advertisement for Apple Fitness+ in the iOS Settings app

In the Epic Games monopoly lawsuit, Apple claims it offers a level playing field for all developers.

Great! How do I get an ad for my app inside of Settings?

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Halmark is a spammer

Friday, April 30th, 2021 Alive 18,266 days

A screenshot of my opting out of Hallmarkʼs spam campaign, which it chose to ignore

Hallmark took my e-mail address “for [my] receipt.” I even took a screenshot just in case it lied. Which it did.

I now get spam from Hallmark at the unique e-mail address I set up for this Hallmark order.

Hallmark cannot be trusted.

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No one left to trust

Thursday, April 29th, 2021 Alive 18,265 days

Digital Ocean being a creeper

Today I learned that Digital Ocean watches your help searches and uses them for unsolicited marketing.

This is both very creepy, and a serious privacy issue.

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Why is she biting the water?

Sunday, March 28th, 2021 Alive 18,233 days

An ad for Newport cigarettes, bound into my book

Iʼm reading an old paperback dime store novel. I guess this is the 1970ʼs equivalent of a pop-up ad.

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Greed kills

Sunday, February 28th, 2021 Alive 18,205 days

We interrupt your iPad for this commercial message from Apple

In 2006 and 2007, Steve Jobs famously fought the big cell phone companies because he knew in-device ads would ruin the iPhone experience.

With Tim Cook, the most important thing is whatever makes money.

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It is the desert

Monday, January 4th, 2021 Alive 18,150 days

Annie reading the newspaper

Today I learned that Annie is in the market for a whole-home water treatment system. I guess I should clean her kitty bowls more often.

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Need $1,000,000,000,001

Monday, January 4th, 2021 Alive 18,150 days

Spam from Apple

Itʼs bad enough that Apple chooses to show ads inside the iOS Settings app, but this is the sixth time today itʼs spammed me inside the Apple Music app.

Youʼve already got a trillion dollars, Apple. Can I just use the device Iʼve already paid for, please?

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Monday, December 21st, 2020 Alive 18,136 days

I just saw an ad on TV for working at Amazon.com.

A woman said something like, “I joined Amazon to improve kids education.” What thought process was that?

“I want to help children… I know, Iʼll work at a company that sells fake Chinese diapers!”

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Massive fail

Sunday, December 20th, 2020 Alive 18,135 days

I tried to watch mass from Saint Patrickʼs Cathedral in New York today. Itʼs on YouTube.

Google put 6½ minutes of ads at the front, plus sixteen commercial breaks inside the 50-minute mass. Thereʼs an illustration of how greedy Google and the rest of Silicon Valley is.

Next time Iʼll listen to it on the radio.

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Growth opportunity

Sunday, December 20th, 2020 Alive 18,135 days

Dear MiracleGro,

If you wonder why your ad in the New York Times didnʼt result in many sales, itʼs probably because people were put off by the three pop-ups you forced on them when they scanned your QR code.

You must not need customers.

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Itʼs still legal

Monday, November 30th, 2020 Alive 18,115 days

A cartoon cowboy saddling up in the Atari catalog

You can tell itʼs a childrenʼs game because thereʼs a cartoon.

You can tell itʼs 1978 because the cowboy has a cigarette.

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But Tim Cooks needs a third boat

Sunday, September 13th, 2020 Alive 18,037 days

iPhone spam from Apple

It is against Appleʼs App Store rules to use notifications for advertising.

Apparently, Apple has exempted itself from those rules.

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Ewe bet

Friday, August 7th, 2020 Alive 18,000 days

An ad in the Navajo Times offering sheep for lease

When Darcie was reading the Navajo newspaper, she mentioned there was a sale on new, low-mileage Rams.

This isnʼt what I expected.

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Whatʼs the number?

Tuesday, January 28th, 2020 Alive 17,808 days

An ad for women in suits who will scrub out your dog pee

If you get flyers stuck to your front door advertising a service to clean the dog pee off of the rocks and AstroTurf in your yard, you may live in the desert.

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Depends

Thursday, September 5th, 2019 Alive 17,663 days

Come to Ohio. Where happiness is wine and giant pants.

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Indigestion

Tuesday, September 3rd, 2019 Alive 17,661 days

A pie chart illustrating the amount of content versus commericals in the Good Eats: The Return TV show

I just slogged through an episode of Good Eats: The Return on Food Network Go.

There were 26 commercials for just two recipes!

I hope Alton Brown got a new car out of it, since I had to watch the same Enterprise Rent-a-Car commercial seven times in a row in one break.

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There are alternatives

Monday, June 17th, 2019 Alive 17,583 days

Notification spam from Adobe

Live now: Adobe sends me spam from a product that I pay for!

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Wednesday, July 4th, 2018 Alive 17,235 days

An advertisement with placeholder text

Once you’ve tried Your Text coffee, you’ll never go back to Folger’s crystals.

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Sunday, June 24th, 2018 Alive 17,225 days

An enthusiastic supporter

Anyone can slap a sticker on their bumper. The truly committed go for spray paint and stencils.

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