Blathr Wayne Lorentz

What is Blathr?
Showing blathrs with the tag “Microsoft.”

Semi-right

Thursday, January 25th, 2024 Alive 19,266 days

A redacted Microsoft Outlook screenshot

Microsoft is currently the worldʼs largest company. Too bad it doesn't know what a semicolon is.

Those are two names displayed in Outlook. But they might as well be four.

❖ ❖ ❖

Just MacBook; no “Pro”

Friday, November 3rd, 2023 Alive 19,183 days

If your computer is not able to run the latest version of macOS, and a program you bought through the App Store has a new version, the App Store program will helpfully allow you to download the latest version of that program in question that will run on your version of macOS.

Except that it doesnʼt work.

In the video above, you can see that I would like to update Microsoft Outlook on my Early 2015 MacBook. When I click Update, the App Store offers the sentence fragment “Download an older version of Microsoft Outlook?” But clicking Download does nothing.

❖ ❖ ❖

Start me up!

Wednesday, August 16th, 2023 Alive 19,104 days

A screenshot of a broken Microsoft web page

This Microsoft Azure web page promoting Redmondʼs acumen tells me two things:

  1. Microsoft spends more than $1 billion annually on cybersecurity research and development.
  2. All those rumors about Microsoft disbanding its Quality Assurance department in favor of “AI” and “telemetry” were true.
❖ ❖ ❖

What happened to the Mac BU?

Monday, August 14th, 2023 Alive 19,102 days

An insufficient menu item

Hereʼs another example of how Microsoft no longer understand Macs.

When trying to attach a file to a message in Microsoft Outlook, it gives the option to Browse this Mac. Thereʼs a reason that real Mac-native apps donʼt use that language. They just use “Browse.”

This is because the resulting file dialog allows me to browse not only “this” Mac, but also other Macs, as well as file servers, other locations on the internet, or even a P.A.N.

Microsoft used to have a very thorough and competent group called the Mac Business Unit. The Mac was where Microsoft tested new Office features before rolling them out on Windows. I guess all of that has been value-engineered into oblivion.

❖ ❖ ❖

Click on all of the things!

Wednesday, May 10th, 2023 Alive 19,006 days

A counter-intuitive dialog

Can you figure out how to close this error message dialog box? No, itʼs not by clicking on the red circled × that looks exactly like a close window control. You do it by clicking on the ellipses.

Good job, Microsoft.

❖ ❖ ❖

Itʼs a major award!

Monday, January 23rd, 2023 Alive 18,899 days

What happens when you gamify education

It seems that I can do things.

Today I received an e-mail telling me that my Windows Server training has earned me a major award. Maybe not major. Minor. OK, itʼs a PNG.

Collecting these badges is the way nerds boast to one another these days. Kind of like the way certain birds will collect shiny objects to attract a mate.

According to the company that taught the class, I am now thoroughly stilled in the following:

  • Azure
  • Deploying And Configuring Azure VMs
  • Facilitating Hybrid Management
  • File Servers And Storage Management In Windows Server
  • Hyper-Virtualization in Windows Server
  • Implement Identity Services in Windows Server
  • Implementing a Hybrid Infrastructure
  • Implementing Identity In Hybrid Scenarios
  • Microsoft
  • Network Infrastructure Services In Windows Server
  • PowerShell
  • Windows Admin Center
  • Windows Server
  • Windows Server Administration
  • Marine welding and light submarine repair

I may have made up that last one.

A New Horizons certificate award declaration
❖ ❖ ❖

The blue screen of lost sales

Wednesday, January 11th, 2023 Alive 18,887 days

Microsoft locking Microsoft out of Microsoft

Iʼve had bad days. But at least Iʼve never been a Microsoft employee that got locked out of Microsoftʼs system while demonstrating how great Microsoftʼs products are to a group of 50 potential customers.

❖ ❖ ❖

376006

Monday, October 10th, 2022 Alive 18,794 days

A screenshot of the Microsoft Azure price calculator

The header graphic for Microsoft's Azure pricing calculator reads “HELLO.”

❖ ❖ ❖

Curiouser and curiouser

Monday, October 10th, 2022 Alive 18,794 days

An error message triggered by asking Microsoft to stop selling my personal information

Funny how Microsoft has no problem at all automatically opting me in to sharing my personal information with its “partners” within four seconds of me creating an account. But if I try to opt-out, it suddenly canʼt cope.

If a simple toggle of a button can bring Microsoft to its knees, why would I trust it with anything at all? Is this the power, resiliency, and scaleability of the masterful Azure “cloud” its always talking about?

❖ ❖ ❖

You get a sticker! And you get a sticker!

Monday, October 10th, 2022 Alive 18,794 days

Ooh! Teacher gave me a sticker!

It used to be said that learning is its own reward. Now itʼs all about the stickers.

The company that taught me the fundamentals of managing Microsoft Azure servers has sent me a sticker to confirm that I understand the fundamentals of managing Microsoft Azure servers. Well, not a real sticker. A virtual sticker. So it doesnʼt really stick to anything except this web page.

Iʼm not sure that making education a game is a good idea, especially for adult continuing education, where weʼre all supposed to be adults and taking these classes to improve ourselves. It seems to me that “gamifying” education only adds incentive for people to game the system. Like back in the 1980ʼs when we used to trick the Scan-Tron machines into marking every answer correct using a sewing needle. Good times.

At least I have a series of ones and zeroes that I can show a potential employer so they know that I understand (according to the certificate):

  • Availability
  • Azure
  • Compliance
  • Fundamentals
  • Management
  • Microsoft
  • Monitoring
  • Security
  • Services
  • Solutions
  • Understand Azure Concepts

Also, it states that I have been trained in “and Cost Management.” Perhaps someone at New Horizons should take a class in proofreading before publication.

Totally un-forgeable credentials
❖ ❖ ❖

Ask what you mean

Thursday, September 22nd, 2022 Alive 18,776 days

Microsoft Teams asking how the call quality was

The call quality was awful. The organizer wasn't prepared, peopleʼs dogs kept barking, and I ran out of coffee. One star.

Oh, you mean how was the connection quality? Why didnʼt you ask that, Microsoft Teams?

❖ ❖ ❖

You did this to yourself

Wednesday, September 14th, 2022 Alive 18,768 days

Screenshot of Microsoft Word

…Now select “Hyperlink” … No, the other “Hyperlink” … No, the one with the control decoration indicating … No, the other one … No, just mouse over “Hyperlink” … No, the other one …

This is why Iʼm reluctant to help people through their Microsoft woes.

❖ ❖ ❖

Word to your motherboard

Tuesday, September 13th, 2022 Alive 18,767 days

Microsoft Outlook is telling me that there is a problem with Microsoft Word. I guess itʼs well-intentioned, but snitches get stitches.

❖ ❖ ❖

What did I just tell you?

Wednesday, August 31st, 2022 Alive 18,754 days

Every time I use Microsoft Windows, I manage to find another way it simply doesn't make sense to me.

In this example, I have instructed Microsoft Outlook to “Save All Attachments” from a particular e-mail message. Instead of saving all of the attachments, it pops up a modal window asking which attachments Iʼd like to save. Well, Iʼd like to save them all. Which is why I clicked on “Save All Attachments” and not “Save some, but I'm not sure which ones I might want, so why don't you stop me in the middle of my work instead of doing what I've instructed you to do.”

There would be no shame in Microsoft adding a “Save Some Attachments…” item to its already ample menu structure.

❖ ❖ ❖

Wannabes

Monday, November 1st, 2021 Alive 18,451 days

The tech world in 2021:

  • Meta wants to be the new Google
  • Google wants to be the new Microsoft
  • Microsoft wants to be the new Oracle
  • Oracle wants to be the new IBM

Meanwhile,

  • Apple wants to be the new Sony
  • Amazon.com wants to be the new Sears

Nothing is new.

❖ ❖ ❖

Errors all the way down

Tuesday, July 20th, 2021 Alive 18,347 days

An error message about Microsoft Error Reporting

Microsoft Office is so poorly programmed that even Microsoftʼs error reporting daemon crashes.

❖ ❖ ❖

i18n_comment_snarky

Monday, June 28th, 2021 Alive 18,325 days

A failed attempt at communication from Microsoft

If Microsoft canʼt handle internationalization, what chance do the rest of us have?

❖ ❖ ❖

Negative experience

Thursday, April 22nd, 2021 Alive 18,258 days

Iʼm getting tired of all the lazy developers talking about how great Electron is.

I guess they donʼt have to use Microsoftʼs Azure Storage Explorer, which crashes on a weekly basis, taking down the entire machine and all of their work because itʼs built in Electron, and is not a real program.

❖ ❖ ❖

72 minutes into the future

Monday, March 15th, 2021 Alive 18,220 days

Microsoft Outlook being stupid

According to Microsoft Outlook, I replied to this message 72 minutes before I received it.

Itʼs not a Daylight Savings Time issue, or it would be just 60 minutes different.

Also, it would be nice if Microsoft Office would pick one date format and stick with it.

❖ ❖ ❖

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2018 Alive 17,346 days

Today I learned that the IT guy who wouldnʼt allow Macs or iPhones on the corporate network at a former employer because “Macs are stupid” is now free to peddle his “Windows rulz!” bullshit full time in the unemployment line because he refused to take Macintosh/Unix networking classes.

❖ ❖ ❖

Sunday, September 9th, 2018 Alive 17,302 days

An advertisement for Microsoft The Manager

I guess this was Microsoft Office version 0.

❖ ❖ ❖

Wednesday, August 30th, 1995 Alive 8,891 days

Microsoft is using Start Me Up, a Rolling Stones song from 1981, to introduce is flagship operating system in 1995.

I'm not sure if that's ironic or prophetic.

Perhaps it's an admission that Windows is 14 years behind OS/2.

❖ ❖ ❖