Blathr Wayne Lorentz

How to get people to turn off the emergency alert feature on their phones in two easy steps:

1. Use the EAS system to tell people to get COVID tests.
2. There is no step two.

When the nearest gas station is 94 miles away, you can charge $12 for two gallons of gas.

I found an ever pricier place down the road, commanding $20 a pop.

You call the number on the sign, give the person who answers your credit card number, and they give you the combination to the gas locker.

I can't believe I didn't think of this first.