I watched Itʼs the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown tonight. I never noticed before that when they go trick-or-treating, all of the Peanuts kids are wearing rubber gloves.
For Halloween this year, my wife bought me a chocolate toad.
This is no cheap injection-moulded Hershey-grade nosh. This is a hefty hopper, decorated to a level of realism that is startling, if youʼre not expecting it to be there when you open the refrigerator door.
Mr. Toad is from the Fortnum & Mason department store in London. The confection connection between chocolate, amphibians, and Britannia may put you in mind of the fictional chocolate frogs from Harry Potter. The difference is those are in movies, and this is in my kitchen.
It weighs almost half a pound, and Iʼm not sure how I'm going to eat it. I have no problem biting the heads off of Easter bunnies. They look like cartoons. But this knobby indulgence has sugary eyes that look straight into your soul.
Halloween can be educational. In addition to teaching children about math (candy nutrition labels), geography (mapping out a trick-or-treat route), history (Halloween folklore), and extortion ("Trick or treat!"), it's also possible to learn about physics. The way to do that is with a Halloween bubble light.
I don't know why bubble lights went out of fashion, but showing a child that something that is boiling can still safe to touch is an opportunity to learn about the phases of matter, the elements, boiling points, and all kinds of happy physics and chemistry things.
Also, it's never too early to put up Halloween decorations — if they're educational.
Annie spends so much time sleeping in the closet that I decorated her front door for Halloween.
When the National Museum of Funeral History tells you not to open a casket, you do not open the casket.
August 1st, and the gas station is already loaded for Halloween.
Each day for the last month, Iʼve included a piece of Halloween candy when I pack Darcieʼs lunch. And each day I notice that the Whoppers always seem to come back unopened.
I think she hasnʼt really given Whoppers a chance. So I made her an all-Whoppers lunch today.
We decorated for Halloween already this year. Itʼs early, even for us.
Sirius has been playing the occasional Christmas song on the 40ʼs and Sinatra channels, so I think a lot of people would just like to get into a happy place in their minds these days.
So, up went the die cuts, the blow molds, the melty popcorn plastic crinkle characters, and the ceramic jack-o-lanterns. You can see it all very clearly from the other buildings in the apartment complex. I donʼt have the energy to care what the neighbors think.
Today is January 5th. My neighbors just removed the Halloween pumpkins from their front porch.
Yep, the Commodore PET has been immortalized as a Halloween trinket at Target.
In keeping with the Halloween theme, the HELLO, HELP, and Escape keys have been highlighted.
Weʼve been open for three hours and only gotten eight trick-or-treaters. Stupid corporate mall trick-or-treat event is bogarting all of my merrymakers.
“Happy Halloween!”
Want candy? Follow the orange pumpkin trail.
If your Halloween decorations bring down the neighborʼs property value, youʼre doing it right.
Darcie and I both took off of work for Halloween. So vou know I broke out the 2600 Haunted House cartridge for some Goosey Night gaming.
A doctor once told me that coconuts are terrible for your cholesterol. So as a public service to the neighborhood kids, I am personally disposing of all of the Almond Joys in the trick-or-treat bowl.
Iʼve heard a lot of kids have peanut allergies these days. Perhaps I can do some good there, as well.
In this season of Halloween, itʼs important to remember that in the event of a Frankenstein sneak attack, itʼs perfectly acceptable to break into a disco ballad.
Ask Shaun Cassidy.
The only things Nextdoor is good for is finding out how racist your neighbors are, and whoʼs giving out Halloween candy.
Thanksgiving decorations for sale on September 7. I guess the good part is that people can stop moaning about stores putting out Halloween stuff too soon.
Not exactly His Masterʼs Voice, but close enough.
This is a way better anniversary present than what I got Darcie. Oh, well. Better luck next year, Sweetie.
If you watch the video, wait till the very end to see the cat burp.